Make your own free website on Tripod.com
 

Super Mario Parody Story:
The Super Mario Bros. Freaky Show!

By Toasty
-Mario: Yo, yo, yo, yo, bay-B, da Soopa Mario Bros. Freaky Show is back in da howse! And I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Episode 7: "Revolutionary Boy Triclyde"

-Plumber's log, number 1+1=......that other one. Well, I really don't need to tell you what had happened, Koopa had just ripped off the princess again, yadi yadi ya, bla bla bla, the usual kind of stupid excuse for lame witticisms and bad animation. Well, it's not -my- fault that no-one can come up with a decent scenario in this dumb studio. So, anyway, we were just about to storm Koopa's place.....

Fade in to a shot of Mario, Toad and Yoshi running towards Koopa's castle, carrying Luigi.

-Mario: Chaaarge! We'll use Luigi as a battering ram to break open the entry gate!

-Toad: It's a brilliant idea!

-Yoshi: Is a battering ram tasty?

Using Mario's latest Luigi-unfriendly strategy, they crash through the solid steel door of Koopa's castle as if it was made out of rice pudding. Once inside, Mario sums up the situation with these words:

-Mario: There, piece of cake. My ingenious and intricate plan worked like a dream.

-Toad: Well, not quite, Mario. They were expecting us, and now we're surrounded....

Camera zooms out and reveals that Toad is quite right; a horde of Koopa Troopas is standing around them, making menacing faces. A short piece of intese music plays, until Mario ruins the mood by stating:

-Mario: Uhm...well, so what?

The Troopas then take out shotguns and point them at Mario and co.

-Toad: Well, so they've got guns.

At that point, Koopa steps forward wearing a strapless violet chiffon dress, with Triclyde, Mouser and Fryguy following him. He approaches Mario, and with a nasty grin, he utters these words:

-Koopa: I've got you now, Mario! You're surrounded by heavily-armed guards! Move one muscle and your head gets blown off! There is no way out; you're toast!

-Mouser: Ahh, my Lord Koopa, he's so hot when he's gloating....hmmm, and that dress suits him so well... *drooling*

-Fryguy: Don't you -ever- give it a rest?

-Koopa: Enough, you lot! Now, Mario, you don't look so smug anymore, do you?

-Mario: Koopa, you swine! Where is the princess?!

-Koopa: None of your business! And now, now that you are defenseless, powerless, unable to move, and that I have you right where I want it, with multiple deadly loaded shotguns pointed right at your fat face, I will....I will dump you into my dungeon!

-Everyone: Eh??

-Koopa: Ah ha ha ha! I'm so cruel, it's frightening!

-Triclyde: Uhm....milord....I don't know how to put this...but basically, that's a terribly stupid thing to do.

-Koopa: What is?

-Triclyde: Well, this is a perfect chance to kill them. Why would we let them live and put them into a jail cell instead? We have absolutely no reason to spare them and let this superb oportunity go to waste! I say kill them right now, while we can!

-Koopa: Ahh, shut yer face. All three of them. We -always- hurl them into the dungeon, in every single bleedin' episode.

-Triclyde: Yes, and then they -always- escape and kick our teeth in. We musn't take such a risk! We could easily kill them now and never hear of them again!

-Koopa: I don't care! I've got to dump them into prison, it says so in the script!

-Fryguy: Huh? What's a script?

-Triclyde: Milord, no-one is falling for that excuse. We -never- read our scripts. And besides, what the script really says in this scene is "Mario, it looks like you are plumb out of luck!".

-Koopa: My god, that has to be the single most lame pun in the history of the world. No way am I saying something so stupid in front of a camera. What in the world were they thinking of? Did someone get payd to write such crappy lines?

-Fryguy: Nope.

-Triclyde: Look, all of this is beside the point! This is a perfect chance to kill them and achieve a final victory! There's no point in letting them live when it's so easy to kill them now! It makes no sense!

-Koopa: That's what you say, but I'm the boss around here, and what I say goes, so there. Nyah. And I say we dump them into the dungeon!

-Triclyde: Sheez, you absolute idiot! This is nuts! It's so stupid! How many times must I explain! Are you so blinkin' stupid that you can't even grasp that this is a perfect chance to get rid of your biggest enemy once and for all?! Are you that much of a fat, ugly, perverted and braindead moron?!

-Mouser: Why you....! How dare you say that to my Lord Koopa?! You bastard, no matter who you are, I'll never forgive you! Die!!

-Fryguy: Aieee! It's scary!! *faints*

-Mouser: Ruhwoooaaarrr! Triclyde, you're history! I'm going to kill you!!

-Koopa: Wait, wait, what are you lot doing?

-Mouser: Lemme at him! I'm going to blow all of his stupid faces off!

-Koopa: No, look, just calm down. You can't have your psycho fit just two pages into the script. Now, if Triclyde wants to kill them that badly, I guess we can kill them, just this once. Okay? Happy now, Triclyde?

-Triclyde: Far from it. Milord, while we wasted our time arguing, our captives have snuck off.

-Koopa: Say what?!

Indeed, Mario, Toad, Luigi and Yoshi have dissappeared from the scene...

-Koopa: What a rip-off! Troopas, why didn't you open fire, you twerps!

-One Single Troopa That Doesn't Know When To Shut Up: But your lordship, we never shoot them, we always dump them into the dungeon for no reason at all...

-Koopa: Right, and if you, Triclown, hadn't started your dumb story about killing them instead, this wouldn't have happened!

-Triclyde: Instead of starting another dumb argument we should start to look for them...

-Koopa: Easy for you to say...I mean, where could they possibly be?!

-Mario: Right here!!

Mario suddenly leaps out, swinging Luigi around like a club, and dashes right at his enemies!

-Mario: Now eat this! My fearsome trademark Luigi club attack! Hyaaah!

-Koopa and co: Aiiieeee!!

Blam, thud, groan, etcetera. Screen cuts to a shot inside the Koopa Kafé bar, with Koopa's three henchmen once again slumped around large glasses of alcohol.

-Triclyde: *downs a glas of vodka* And so, we were defeated once again. Man, what a capital fiasco..

-Fryguy: It was really scary! I need loads of cigarrettes now!

-Triclyde: *downs a glass of saké* Every time it's the same....every single godforsaken time....

-Mouser: It's terrible! I failed to protect my Lord Koopa, even though that's my duty as his boyfriend!

-Triclyde: *downs a glass of tequila*...every single lousy time, and I'm just so bleedin' sick of it....

-Fryguy: Clyde, are you talking to yourself?

-Triclyde:*downs a glass of nitroclycerin*...just so sick of it all...of all this junk....

-Mouser: He's drunk, he probably has no idea what he's rambling on about.

At that point, Triclyde suddenly rises, and in a drunken voice, he belts out the following monolgue, while swaying around the bar.

-Triclyde: Oh yez, I got it now! I've decided *hips*, that I've got to do sssomething! I'm through with being an absolute *hiccups* fllllop! From nnnow on, thingzz will be different!

-Mouser: Do you mean you're going to try a new hairstyle?

-Triclyde: Put a llllid on it, you! I'll tell you what I'll do! I'm gonna...*hurps*...I'm gonna take over the Koopa army! Yeah!

-Fryguy: He's more drunk than I thought....

-Triclyde: Our gurrent leaduhr izz a moron! He'zz worthless! *hiups* If we keep lozing to Mario, it' z all hizz vault! It'z because he'z zo terminally zdoopid! *hips* But now I'll take over, and id will alllll be *hiccups* different! Zzo, who's wid me, huh?

No-one pays attention to him....

-Triclyde: Ffffine! *hic* Be that wwway! If not with you lot, then wwwithout you!

He then stumbles out of the bar, swaying severely....

-Fryguy: Hmmm...do you think he really means it?

-Mouser: Dunno...he's utterly smashed, I'd be surprised if he can even manage to drag himself up the stairs to Lord Koopa's room.

-Fryguy: But still, there's no telling what he's up to....

-Mouser: That's a point, I suppose. And I really can't leave the man of my life to the mercy of some drunken rowdy. Very well...*gulps down a gin 'n tonic*, I'm going after him!

Cut to a shot of Koopa in his dressing room. The door suddenly slams open, and Triclyde sways in, blurbing out these words:

-Triclyde: Oi, ffffat guy...

-Koopa: Not now, I'm trying to choose some proper suspender belts. Something that will go with my high-tops.

-Triclyde: To heck with high-topz, you're going dowwwn.

-Koopa: Either you're wearing a very strong after-shave, or you've been hitting the bottle big time. You're drunk, go pound your head against a wall and leave me alone.

-Triclyde: Naw! I don' wanna! I'm ovverthrowing you! *hiccups* Vvvrom now on, I'm leading the Koopa arrrmy!

-Koopa: Yup, drunk all right.

-Triclyde: Id'z a revvvoluttion! My big moment! *hics* Power to me!

With those words, Clyde uses his leftmost head to head-butt Koopa in the groin. Having rendered Koopa motionless with this unexpected offense, he wraps his tail around Koopa's ankle, begins to lasso him around, and hurls Koopa out of a window.

-Triclyde: Yezz! Vvigtory vorr me! And now....now I'm going to be sick...Owwch, way too much booze...

At that point, Mouser storms in, looking profoundly angered.

-Mouser: What in the world is going on here?!

-Triclyde: I'm going to hurl, that's what....

-Mouser: Why you...if you've dared to so much as lay a finger on my beloved, you'll regret it, big time!

-Triclyde: Oh no, I really don't need this right now....

-Mouser: Prepare to become a bullet salad! You are just -so- dead now!

-Triclyde: Luckily, I prepared for this eventuality. Mouser, look over here...

Clyde holds up an evelope in his rightmost mouth, and with a nasty smirk on his middle face, he begins to explain...

-Triclyde: Inside this envelope are several photos that I shot of Koopa in the shower!

-Mouser....!! Gulps!

-Triclyde: You...want to take a look, don't you? Come on, don't fight it...

-Mouser: Ah...no, I musn't....it's bound to be a trick...but I can't! I just can't! It's stronger than me! Gimme that envelope, I've -got- to look!

-Triclyde: Help yourself.

Willingly, Clyde hands Mouser the desireable envelope, which he immediately rips open. A cloud of pink powder emanates from the envelope and penetrates Mouser's nostrils...

-Triclyde: Heh. Sucker, you've just ripped open an envelope full of heavy sleeping medicine, it blew right in your face just as I expected. Sweet dreams...

-Mouser: No way....what a...rip...offvvvzzzz....zzzz

The sleeping powder had taken it's effect and Mouser was as of now in a profound slumber. Clyde took opportunity of this to lasso him out of the window just like he had done with Koopa, after which he spoke these words to himself:

-Triclyde: Hmm, maybe I should've used an overdose of heroin instead of just natty sleep powder...only pure heroin is too expensive....Uuhhrg, I've still go to puke big time, though....

Fryguy then rushes in, looking very worried.

-Fryguy: It's so scary! What's going on in here?! Is it over yet?! I can't take it anymore!

-Triclyde: Uhn...Urgh....Guh....

-Fryguy: Clyde, what's the matter?! Say something! Go on, speak to me, this is scaring me!

-Triclyde: Bleuwhaaaaauuurghhh......

-Fryguy: Yieeeeek, disgusting!

While Triclyde emptied the contents of his stomach before a terrified Fryguy, Koopa had regained consciousness. He had landed next to a large lake, and while overlooking it's calm surface, he contemplated these thoughts:

-Koopa: Now I've done it...I feared that this would happen someday...that, if someone in my army who had a halfway decent brain came to realise what kind of a useless moron I really am, he would revolt against me and kick me out. That's why I did my best to hire only complete idiots, but still...Now it's all ruined...My castle, my troops and....my wardrobe...All of my shoes, shorts, stockings, suspenders, bikinis, skirts, kimonos, corsettes, leather gear and dresses...What am I supposed to do? What the heck should I -do-??

After this tragic monologue, he went silent, but the sound of a voice humming the tune to "YMCA" caught his attention. He turned his head towards the source of this sound and spotted Mouser, sitting on a cliff in the lake, wearing a white shirt and black trousers, humming this melody....

-Mouser: A song is good, hmm?

-Koopa: ...Uhm....

-Mouser: Singing brings joy and revitalises the human soul. I think that it's the highest achievement of the human culture. Don't you feel that way...Lord Koopa?

-Koopa: What in the world are you talking about?

-Mouser: Milord, don't worry about a thing! I'll get you your castle back, no matter what it takes!

-Koopa:...You...?

-Mouser: Yes! I promise, I'll make them pay for what they did to you! I'll fight until my dying breath! I swear I will!

-Koopa: Hmm....

Koopa has a quick flashback to some random clips of Mouser's destructive gunslinging frenzies...

-Koopa: Actually, that might just work....

-Mouser: Allright then, let's go! It's time for me to fight to win love! Game start!

Determined, Mouser rises to his feet, and immediately, he slips and falls into the lake.

-Koopa: On the other hand, maybe this won't work....

-Mouser: Eeek! I can't swim! Heeelp! Do something!

-Koopa: I can't go into the water...*looks at his feet*...I hate it when my snuggly-wugglies get wet....

Screen fades out and cuts to a shot of a large armada of tanks, missile carriers and other sorts of millitary transport menacingly rolling over the plains of the Mushroom Kingdom. The engines of war are manned by Troopas, Goombas, Shy-guys and other sorts of motley flunkies. The pack is led by one especially large tank, with Triclyde standing proudly on it's rooftop, dressed entirely in millitary attire. Grinning evilly, he pronounces the following phrases:

-Triclyde: Hmm...Heh heh heh....Now that I rule the Koopa empire, an era of failure and stupidity has finally ended....

At that point, the Single Troopa That Doesn't Know When To Shut Up pops up and, with an embarrassed doofus grin, speaks these words:

-One Single Koopa Troopa That Doesn't Know When To Shut Up: Uhm...'scuse me, General Triclyde, sir, but....we're lost again.

-Triclyde: Doohhhh!! You moron! For this, you will recieve the death penalty! For the last time, the castle of princess Toadstool is dead ahead! And we will crush it into the ground! Lord Koopa may have had a secret affair with that braindead princess, which is why he never chose to employ the full force of his army, but I'm different. I'll show no mercy! Mario, the princess, and all those other morons; they will die, screaming! I shall leave a trail of massive destruction wherever I go! With all this firepower, and my ruthless and brutal cruelty, I will soon have the entire world in my grasp! Hu wa ha ha ha haaa! And then I will force the animators to paint me with some decent lighting effects and no colouring mistakes!

-One Single Troopa etc: General Triclyde, sir, they've miscoloured your dictator's costume; it's turned pastel violet instead of murky army green!

-Triclyde: They'll pay for that! Once we've nuked the Mushroom Kingdom, the animators are the next victims on my death list! No-one shall escape my thirst for blood and fire! Wuaaah ha ha ha haaa!!

Screen fades out and cuts to a scene inside the princess' castle. Toad comes up to the princess, with an envelope in his hand.

-Toad: Yo, wassup, royal babe? A'm da Toadman, an' dis 'ere phunk-E letter dood is a bodacious message for you!

-Princess: Oh please, Toad, not with the phoney slang talk routine -again-.

-Toad: Sorry, but I get paid to talk like that. The scriptwriters think it's hilarious.

-Princess: The scriptwriters have the mental capacity of half a baked potato between them. Now just hand me that letter and push off.

Toad obeys these orders, and while the princess opens the envelope, she ponders these thoughts...

-Princess: Hmm, could it be from my luvverboy Koopa? Maybe he wants me to spend the weekend at his place or something...

However, once she glances at the actual letter, an expression of profound horror appears on her face. Screen cuts to a shot of the letter, which has the following text on it:

-"Greetings, puny person! This is an audacious announcement from the immensely evil Triclyde empire! Your boyfriend has gotten the sack, and as of now, I, the bloodthirsty dictator, general Triclyde, am the one in charge of the Koopa forces, and my first job will be to kill you and turn the entire Mushroom Kingdom into a vegetarian omelette! Our armada is on it's way to you as of now, in a matter of minutes, the destruction shall commece, and no-one will be left to live! Even if you decide to surrender willingly, we'll still just kill you, so there! You and your putrid plumber posse are history! The Mushroom Kingdom shall be burnt to a crisp!

Signed cordially; General Triclyde"-

The sight of this produces the following reaction from the princess:

-Princess: Whoa, holy cow! Mario, Luigi, in here on the double!

After a while, the two plumbers drag themselves into the princess' room, looking not at all motivated.

-Mario: Now what?

-Princess: Someone is up to something very bad!

-Mario: Oh! So...Something very bad, like...stealing underwear, eating too many sweets and not doing your homework!

-Princess: It's nothing like that!

-Luigi: Then it must be a massive tidal wave heading right for us, spelling disaster for everyone....

-Princess: You're close, but it's different...maybe even worse...

-Mario: Don't tell me the animators are pretending to be ill! Not again!

-Princess: No, no, look out of the window...

They speed to a nearby window and from there, they behold the sight of Triclyde's massive armada of tanks rumbling towards the castle.

-Princess: Now do you see?

-Luigi: Oh, it's the apocalypse, we will all be killed in a gross and violent fashion now. Might as well hurl myself out of the window, then.....

-Mario: Yes, you do that. Meanwhile, I will....uhm...gee, what exactly will I do?

-Princess: Isn't it obvious?! You're going out there to fight!

-Mario: Me against that mass of tanks? That's suicide!

-Princess: Disobeying me is even more of a suicidical move. Now get out there and kick butt!

Immediately, she picks up Mario, and with an energic kick to his bum, she sends him flying out of the castle window, and towards the approaching tanks. Luigi, Yoshi and Toad are subjected to the same treatment and are hurled along with Mario towards the battle ground. They land in front of the tanks, which produces the following reaction from Triclyde.

-Triclyde: Oh, it's those bums. Excellent, they will be my first victims!

-Mario: Wah! It's Trashclyde! Quick, Yoshi, eat the tanks!

-Yoshi: I can't. I'm feeling sick....oh man, I should've never touched that squid special at Freaky Franky's Fishy Fantasy Funhouse seafood restaurant....My stomach hurts, it's killing me...

-Triclyde: Here's something to make you forget about your belly-aches! Fire!!

Immediately, a rain of bullets and rockets is projected upon the Mario group, who begin to run around in panic to avoid the explosives.

-Luigi: I told you we would die....

-Mario: Oh, shut yer yap and come here!

Mario then picks up Luigi and begins to swing him around, faster and faster...

-Mario: And here it is; the Luigi lasso throw attack! Eat it, Twotclyde!

Luigi is hurled at Triclyde's face like a boomerang, but a shower of missiles intercepts this plumber projectile, and a black-burned Luigi falls to the ground. A tank then drives over him, flattening him like a pancake.

-Mario: Didn't work! Next attack; Toad, annoy them to death with your funky slang talk!

-Toad: Right away! You, army-type dooz, ya godda loosen up, get mellow! Go wid da flow, ya know wud a'm sayin'?

-Triclyde: Murder that mushroom! Fire at full power!

Toad is also burnt to a crisp by a flood of explosives, causing Mario to make the following remark:

-Mario: Knackered! What will I do now?! Luigi and Toad have bravely given their lives in battle...

-Toad: I'm not dead....Besides, you're the one who killed Luigi.

-Luigi: No, I'm not dead....I still have to face this horrible world....

-Mario: Aw, nuts...In any case, you're in no state to continue fighting, so....

-Triclyde: So that means you're next, bignose! For so long, I've waited for this!

-One Single Troopa That Doesn't Know When To Shut Up: General Triclyde, sir! Something strange is happening!

-Triclyde: What?! I had given you the death penalty! How come you're still alive?!

-One Single Troopa and so on...: But, sir, we're under attack from behind! It's terrible! An intruder is destroying a massive amount of our vehicles! We shot the following footage of this attacker...

He then hands Clyde a photograph on which Mouser can be seen, punching a tank to pieces.

-Triclyde: What?! No, not him! It can't be!

Screen cuts to a shot of Mouser lifting a tank above his head and hurling it onto another tank, causing both tanks to explode. Troopas run around in panic as Mouser continues to rip several tanks to shreds with his bare hands.

-Mouser: Huwwwoarrrgh! Full powerrr! Payback time, Triclyde!

Screen cuts back to Triclyde, who is looking deeply worried...

-Triclyde: This is bad...Mouser is the only one whom I fear...If this goes on, he'll turn my whole armada into shrapnel! Allright, attention all troops! Our new target is the intruder who is attacking us from behind! Let rip with full power, concentrate all fire on him! Kill!

Immediately, all the tanks and gun turrets that were pointed at Mario turn around and empty their contents in Mouser's direction. However, he is unharmed by the many projectiles exploding around him. Howling in rage, he runs through the clouds of smoke and fire that surround him and continues to punch heavy machinery to pieces.

-Triclyde: Rats! It's not working! All of our concentrated firepower isn't enough to even scratch him!

-Mario: Hey, what about me? Why is no-one paying attention to me anymore?!

-Triclyde: Compared to the threat that Mouser poses, you are negligible, chubby.

-Mario: What a rip-off!

-Triclyde: It looks like we'll have to use our nuclear missile against Mouser...I didn't want to employ it so soon, but there's no other way. Prepare to launch the nuke!

After this order has been issued, an enormous atomic missile is loaded into a cannon and fired at Mouser. However, he soon enough notices this approaching projectile and grabs it with his bare hands. After a long struggle, he manages to bring it to a halt, lift it above his head and throw it back to Triclyde's troops.

-Triclyde: He has thrown the nuke back at us.....the nuke is about to fall on us....oh heck.....

-Everyone: Oh heeeeeck!!

While everyone bursts out in desperate panic, the nuke crashes onto Triclyde's armada, and explodes in a humongous burst of fire and smoke, reducing all of the remaining tanks to smouldering piles of rubble...Only Triclyde's giant leading tank is left. Mouser is standing amidst the ravaged machines, facing Triclyde's giant tank, while the sound of wind blowing is heard in the background.....

-Mouser: And that just leaves you.....

-Triclyde: It seems like I underestimated you....I'm impressed that you managed to destroy my entire millitary force in just one go. You truly have extraordinary fighting abilities....Mouser, would you not like to join me?

-Mouser: No!

-Triclyde: Think about it....By combining your superhuman muscle-power and my finely-tuned intellect, we would be invincible! An unbeatable team, just like Sailor Neptune and Uranus!....No, hold on what am I saying?...We'd be an unbeatable team, just like....uhm...two people that would make an unbeatable team!

-Mouser: I said no! There's no way I'll do that!

-Triclyde: Doesn't it appeal to you? You could rule the entire world, be rich beyond your wildest dream and have any man you want....

-Mouser: There's only one man I want, and you are that man's enemy! For what you have done to Lord Koopa, I can never forgive you! I won't rest until I've smashed your ugly mug in!

-Triclyde: I see, there's no reasoning with you after all. Very well then, have it your way...I didn't want it to come to this, but you really leave me no choice...Well, here goes! Commence assembly! Arise, ultra doomsday mech Armaggeddon!!

Those words cause the tank underneath Triclyde to pulsate, and amazingly, it then shifts form and becomes an enormous robot, which stands tall in front of Mouser. Triclyde's voice can be heard, coming from the robot.

-Triclyde: Uh wah ha ha ha ha....You see, I think of everything. The doomsday machine you see before you, Armaggeddon, was built just in case it would come to this. Even with your overwhelming physical strenght, can you defeat such a towering machine? Do you really think you stand a chance?!

-Mouser: I've sworn to fight until the very end for my Lord Koopa, and until I'm properly dead, I'm not giving up!

-Triclyde: Tsch...idiot. It's a shame...you could've been an outstanding fighter, if only you weren't so sickeningly immature. Now, it looks like you will have to die. Game.....Start!!

The towering machine and Mouser then dashed at each other and began to slug it out seriously, with the robot throwing several punches that Mouser easily avoided. Camera zooms out to reveal Mario and the others, who are sitting on a couch, with packs of crisps and cans of softdrink, watching this scene as if it was a TV program.

-Mario: This is fun to watch! Beats sumo wrestling and giant rubber monster movies!

-Toad: I'll bet 20 gold coins that they'lll end up killing each other.

-Yoshi: Pass me some more potato chips, will you?

-Mario: Weren't you supposed to be feeling terribly sick?

-Yoshi: Oddly, I feel much better now *stupid grin*

-Mario: Hmm, your stomach is very selective when it comes to illness...

Screen cuts to a shot of Triclyde at the controls of the robot, laughing evilly.

-Triclyde: Hu ha ha ha ha! This is it! Die!!

Cut to a shot of the robot lunging it's fist directly at Mouser.

-Mouser: Bring it on, I'm ready!

Mouser intercepts the robot's huge fist by grabbing it with both hands. He then tightly graps the giant mechanical hand in his arms, and concentrating all his efforts, he then begins to pull with all his might.

-Mouser: Huuurrrrgggnnnnnnhhh......

-Triclyde: Ah ha ha ha haa!! Do you honestly think that will get you anywhere?! You're pathetic!

-Mouser: Hhggggnnnnnnsssshhhhuuuuddduuuup!

-Triclyde: It's no good, face it! Whatever you're trying to do, you're not strong enough!

-Mouser: Hrrrrrrroooaaaaawhurrrrrrgh!

This continued test of his might was paying it's toll on Mouser; veins and blood vessels began to swell up everywhere, his eyes grew increasingly more bloodshot and he began to violently foam at the mouth, yet he still continued to pull at the robot's arm with his full force. At the robot's commands, Triclyde was still struck with disbelief at this display of extreme pig-headedness.

-Triclyde: Stop being so stubborn! You won't defeat me like that, not in a million years!

But suddenly, a red light begins to flash on the control panel before Triclyde.

-Triclyde: What's this? "Emergency"?! No way! The left arm is losing power?! It's not possible...no, he couldn't ...!!

Cut to a close-up of Mouser, who finally sees his prolongued struggle rewarded.

-Mouser: Huuurrrrrghnnnn, I've got you now! Eat this! Hrrrruwaaarrrrgh!!

With one mighty yank, he then rips off the entire left arm of the gigantic robot, and the huge metal arm crashes to the ground. Inside the robot's control cockpit, Triclyde is gripped by sudden panic.

-Triclyde: Nooo! The entire left arm is gone! This is totally nuts! He can't just rip off the arm of a robot twenty times bigger than himself! It makes no sense! I don't believe it!

Meanwhile, Mouser has picked up the robot's severed arm and hoists it above his head.

-Mouser: And now for the finishing blow! Say your prayers, Triclyde! You're about to find out that love truly is the strongest force on earth! Hyaaaah!!

He then hurls the severed arm into the air like a spear. The enormous hunk of metal soars through the sky and pierces right through the giant robot's torso. Empaled on it's own arm, the robot slowly sinks to the ground, while several parts begin to explode. Inside the smouldering robot, Triclyde is having a major freak attack..

-Triclyde: Yeeeek!! No way, this is completely crazy! This can't be happening! Yeeeeh, flip! Oowahahahahaa! It's nuts! Everyone is crazy! Yeehahahahahaaa! Woohahahahaheehee! Totally crazy! Heeheehoowaa!!

The robot continues to slowly fall to the ground, much to the displeasure of Mario and co.

-Toad: Aiiieee! That huge thing is going to fall onto us!

-Mario: Yoshi, quick, eat that robot before we get crushed!

-Yoshi: Ooohhh, I feel so sick all of a sudden.......

-Mario: Not again!

-Luigi: We will all die, there's no more hope for us...this is the end....

-Toad: Shut up, you! Now hurry, run for it!

Just as they're going to leg it, the robot crashes onto them, and a "squish" noise is heard. Camera pans around the now-motionless robot, lying on it's back, with the severed arm sticking out of it's chest, and then zooms in to Mouser, who is still drenched in sweat, covered with bruises and breathing heavily, but looking very happy.

-Mouser: I...*huff*...I did it! I fought for my Lord Koopa, and.....*pant, oof*... I won! Milord, look at me! I did it! I really....I really did it!

Slowly, his eyes then close and he sinks to the ground, where he lies sleeping with a big smile on his face. At that point, Koopa pops out of some bushes and hesitantly approaches this scene.

-Koopa: Whoa, what a mess....So, he sent Clyde packing....

At that point, a small figure appears on the horizon, squeaking and yelping. As it comes closer, it's revealed to be an overjoyed Fryguy, who shrieks out these phrases as he runs towards Koopa:

-Fryguy: Lord Koopa! You're baaack! I'm so happy! When Clyde went crazy, I was so scared! He scared the hell out of me, so I ran away. But now you're back and I don't need to be scared anymore!

-Koopa: Well, it's thanks to Mouser, really. He took on the legion of tanks all by himself, and he even defeated the giant robot...

A quick shot of the defeated robot is shown, which produces this reaction from Fryguy:

-Fryguy: Yeek! What is that huge thing?! It's scary! Aiieee! Somebody give me a cigarrette!

At that moment, the princess arrives on the scene, equally happy to see Koopa.

-Princess: Koopa! It's you! You're safe!

-Koopa: Hey, nice to see you, babe! As you see, I'm safe and have everything under control (except that my entire army has just been smashed).

-Princess: I was so worried! When I heard that Triclyde had kicked you out and that he had declared war on us, I was this close to a complete freak attack! It sure is good to have you back! You're my hero!

-Fryguy: But, it was really Mouser who did all the work....

-Princess: Shut it, you nicotine nerdy! Who the hell asked you for your dumb comments?!

-Fryguy: Yeek! You're scaring me!

-Koopa: I suppose we really do owe Mouser a lot...Heh, for a mere mouse, he sure can fight! (and he's a pretty good kisser, too).

-Princess: Now do you see what you've done with your stupid remarks, you Pall Mall pansy?! Why I oughtta....

-Fryguy: Eeyaaah! Nooo!! *faints*

-Koopa: Hmm? Were you talking to Fryguy?

-Princess: Oh no, it's nothing. Now how about you and me heading back to your place?

-Koopa: Oh, of course! I've got my wardrobe back! All of my trendy outfits! There's one I just know you'll love, it's sooo me!

-Princess: Sounds good, let's go!

Koopa then picks up the unconscious Fryguy and the sleeping Mouser and walks off with the princess. Camera zooms in to the remains of Triclyde's robot. A hatch opens in the robot's chest and Triclyde's heads pop out.

-Triclyde: This is not the end of it yet.....

Cut to a quick shot of a paper-flat Mario, Toad and Yoshi crawling out from underneath the robot's corpse.

-Mario: Ooowww, that hurt....

-Yoshi: Let's get out of here....

-Toad: Just a minute, where's Luigi?

-Mario: Ah, who cares?

END of this episode


 

BACK TO FANFICS