Super Mario Parody Story:
The Super Mario Bros. Freaky Show!
|-Mario: We're halfway through the series!
Things can only get worse from now on. That's the way
things work on the Super Mario Brothers' Freaky Show!
Episode 14: "A Night in the Haunted Forest!"
"Plumber's log, number B. Frankly, I don't see why they insist on putting in one of these stupid plumber's log bit here, as I'll hardly appear at all in this episode. In fact, these may be my only lines for the whole episode, so I had better make them count! Uhm...well, anyway, plumbers don't really keep logs, do they? Why would a plumber want to chop down a tree and keep the log? That makes no sense at all, does it? Oh well, on with the nonsense and chaos..."
Fade in to a shot of a large touring bus rolling over a road in the lush green mountains, with acres of lofty mountain pinewood forest visible in the distance. Zoom in to reveal that the emblem of the Koopa empire is printed on the side of this bus. Cut to a shot inside the bus. Clawgrip is driving, holding the steering wheel between his pincers and with a bus driver's cap on his head.
-Clawgrip: Hrrrrmph, why do I always get such lousy jobs?
Just then, Koopa pops up wearing an air hostess' uniform. He's holding a microphone through which he addresses the other passengers of the bus; a selection of various Koopa flunkies including his most loyal servants:
-Koopa: Hiii, everyone! As you can see, we are now in the beautiful region of the Leonidas Valley! In about one hour, we will have reached our destination. For one week, you will be training in these invigorating natural conditions to improve your combat skills, soldiers! Please put your full force into this training camp voyage! And now, to kill time before we arrive, I will sing some songs from my repertoire!
-Clawgrip: Gasp!! The earplugs, quick!
Koopa then begins to croon into the microphone, while making many elaborate poses:
-Koopa: Ahhh, I won't lose! Shine on my path, Footsie Star! All the way! Head for tomorrow on your Footsie Wings! These feet will take me until the end of the galaxyyyyy!
Camera pans around the interior of the bus as Koopa's dreadful singing continues. On the seats, several Koopa Troopas, Shy-guys and Goombas are sitting with agonised expressions on their faces. Among the passengers, there are also Mouser and Lakitu. Mouser leans forward and sighs longingly at Koopa's cacophony.
-Mouser: Ahhh, Lord Koopa....what a marvellous voice.
-Lakitu: You mean to say you actually -like- this foot-induced interpretation of Sailor Star Song he's blurbing out?
-Mouser: Of course I do! The soft, melodic sound of his voice....and he looks so damn hot in that hostess costume! I could just die!
-Lakitu: *muttering* This guy's more flipped than I first thought. *out loud* Oh well, I suppose it's nice to get back to nature for a week...
-Mouser: It's not for relaxation that we're coming here, this is a training voyage! We need to train hard during a whole week in the forest!
-Lakitu: Yeah, okay, Lord Koopa did decide that we could use some training after we failed so badly to hold off the attack from his children just a month ago. But don't count on anyone taking this training excuse seriously. Everyone seems to treat this like an amusing field trip.
Indeed, the Koopa flunkies in the bus are happily exchanging snacks, silly books and soft drugs (the occasional Game Boy as well, and an XXX magazine here and there), chatting away leisurely now that Koopa's disastrous singing has died down.
-Mouser: Okay, so everyone thinks it's a funny field trip. That is, everyone except Fryguy....
Mouser and Lakitu turn around, and the camera zooms out to reveal Fryguy, seated in the back of the bus, with a huge cloud of cigarette smoke surrounding him. His mouth is stuffed with ciggies, and he bravely tries to fight back his shivers and tears as he speaks these words to himself.
-Fryguy: I'm so...so scared! A whole week in that scary forest?! I'll just die, I know I will! Loads of scary things are bound to happen! I...I won't cry! I'm a big boy, I musn't cry in front of everyone! But I'm just sooo scaaaared!
Mouser and Lakitu look at each other and snigger slightly at Fryguy's ineptitude. Cut to a shot of the bus rolling down a road with the mountain forests in the background...Zoom out and cut to a shot of Triclyde on top of one of these mountains, overlooking the forests below him.
-Triclyde: Hmmm, so this is the place, the Leonidas Valley. We're almost there now...
-Righty: Clyde, are you totally sure about this? What we're trying to do seems a bit far-fetched.
-Triclyde: Of course I'm sure! I am an evil genius of the highest order, I know what I'm doing! Now let's get a move on, we need to find the Cote D'or Forest.
-Lefty: It should be dead ahead, down into that valley.
-Triclyde: Excellent...if we succeed in this operation, the Koopa forces, and anyone else on this planet will have to bow to my supremacy! Hu wa ha ha ha ha!
Fade out and cut to a shot of the Koopa bus parked in front of an old-looking chalet. Koopa and all the others have gotten out of the bus and are addressing a small old man standing in front of them. The old geezer in question is called Godiva, and he's the owner of the chalet behind them.
-Godiva: So, you must be the people that phoned me about staying here. Welcome to the Leonidas Valley, then. I'm Godiva, and this is the Godiva House chalet. I have all your rooms ready, thanks for staying with us.
-Koopa: Great! Okay boys, you have one hour to unpack and settle into your rooms, after that we'll begin the training!
-Godiva: One more thing, breakfast is every morning at eight, and over to the left is a path leading to the hot springs. As for dinner, it's served at...
-Koopa: Hang on, there are hot springs here? No kidding? Oh boy, I had no idea!
-Godiva: Yup, we have hot springs. That mountain over there....
He points to a large, dark grey mountain in the distance while saying this.
-Godiva: That's Mount Neuhaus, the volcano.
-Fryguy: A volcano?! Yeeek, that's scaryyy!!
-Godiva: Don't panic, Mount Neuhaus has been entirely inactive for years. But the underground lava currents still warm the water, so there are plenty of thermal pools near the volcano. They're called the Neuhaus Springs and are a popular resort here.
-Koopa: That's just so cool! I've always wanted to take a foot-bath in thermal water, I hear it's very good for the toes! Allright boys, after you training, we'll head for the hot springs this evening!
Cut to a shot of Koopa's flunkies standing in line, all dressed in boy-scout uniforms. Koopa is standing in front of them, also dressed in boy-scout attire. He looks up sternly and addresses these words to his servants:
-Koopa: Right, you all know that this is not supposed to be a mere pleasure trip, we're here to train! Almost each one of you has performed very poorly when we were invaded by my seven wicked children, I won't have any more of that! To be ready for the many trials that we'll face, you must improve your skills with extensive training! Now then, Clawgrip will supervise your trainings, I need to go and put nail polish on my toenails. I'll see you this evening at the Neuhaus Springs. Until then, work hard and make full use of this training opportunity in rough natural conditions!
Koopa then rushes off muttering something about his toenails, which can barely be heard, as Mouser exclaims at that moment:
-Mouser: So cooool! Lord Koopa is just to -die- for when he speaks in a stern and commanding tone! And that boy-scout costume! Oh man, I can't believe how -short- his shorts were! Ohhh, baby!
-Lakitu: Mouser, get a grip. If you get any more aroused, they might have to digital blur your crotch area.
-Mouser: Hrmph, digital blur my arse!
-Fryguy: But why did he have to take us to this forest for training? This place is scary!
-Clawgrip: Will you lot listen to me, dammit?!
-Fryguy: Eek! Don't yell, it's scary!
Clawgrip has taken Koopa's place as the main spokesman and speaks these words to the group of Koopa flunkies:
-Clawgrip: Now that I seem to have your attention, let me begin. You will be assigned various tasks to do, which will test your physical strength and combat skills. Come back to the Godiva House once you have finished. Now, I'll hand out the descriptions of your assignments. Please form small groups to do these assignments.
The flunkies grumble a bit and then start to form groups of three or four while Clawgrip hands out papers to each group on which their assignments are written out. Some gasps and exclamations can be heard as the Koopa minions read their assignments. Mouser, Lakitu and Fryguy have gathered in one group, and Lakitu is looking over their assignment paper.
-Fryguy: Oh no, I hope we don't have to do anything scary!
-Lakitu: Nah, it could be worse, our job is to go to the Cote D'or Forest and chop down wood for the log fires at the Godiva House. They want us to chop down as many trees as possible within one hour.
-Mouser: Hah! That's easy! Leave it to me guys, this'll be a walk in the park! Let's get moving!
-Lakitu: Wait, wait! It's now time for the tacky insert song of the week!
-Lakitu: And for this episode, it's "Give a Reason" by Megumi Hayashibara!
-Fryguy: Really? But how can such a zero-budget show as ours afford the royalties for a song by Japan's most famous voice actress?
-Lakitu: Well, we can't so we didn't. But this show is so cruddy it's illegal according to worldwide standards of good taste as it is, so it doesn't matter. Let's get to work now.
"Give a Reason" begins to play as the groups of Koopa minions head out into the forest. During the insert song, various clips are shown of the flunkies doing their assignments.
-Clip 1: A group of three Shy-guys stands by a waterfall. The middle Shy-guy reads out their paper.
-Shy-Guy: Allright, our assignment is to swim up the Droste waterfall! Let's go, guys!
The three Shy-guys jump into the waterfall, but despite their brave arm-wriggling, they are immediately swept away by it's thundering force. They disappear into the watery depths with shrieks of despair.
-Clip 2: A group of three Goombas is shown running through the forest. They are being chased by an enraged grizzly bear who roars frighteningly. One of the Goombas gasps these phrases while running:
-Some Goomba: Just our luck! We just had to get the assignment to "kill the mean and bloodthirsty psycho grizzly bear Ritter Sport!" We stand no chance against him!
-Some Other Goomba: No use complaining about it, just keep running!
The Goombas continue to run away from the bear Ritter Sport, until suddenly, the forest thicket clears up, and the Goombas find that they have run into a gaping chasm. They plummet to their deaths with long screams, and the grizzly Ritter Sport also falls down the chasm to a violent meeting with the harsh rocks below.
-Clip 3: Mouser, Lakitu and Fryguy are standing amidst the tall trees of the Cote D'or Forest. An axe is lying on the ground before them.
-Lakitu: Right, this must be the place. They've provided the axe, let's get chopping.
-Mouser: I don't need an axe! Those trees stand no chance against me! The sight of Lord Koopa in those sexy shorts has filled me with the strength of burning passion!
-Lakitu: Can't you just say you're turned on like everyone else?
-Fryguy: Mouser scares me when he acts like this!
-Mouse: Right, here I go! Timbeeeeer!
He then begins to punch down every tree in his vicinity. Switch to some rapid still-shots of Mouser punching and kicking down trees or ripping them out of the ground with his bare hands. While this chaos is going on, Lakitu and Fryguy sit down on the grass. Lakitu takes out a can of lemon tea, and Fryguy takes out a pack of Marlboros.
-Lakitu: Hmmm, the tranquility of the forest....
Mouser rushes past in the background, karate-chopping down trees with loud, crashing noises.
-Fryguy:...is totally knackered.
Cut to a shot of Clawgrip outside the Godiva House, as the insert song fades out. He looks around a bit and mutters to himself;
-Clawgrip: They've been gone for well over an hour now (even though it was just a few minutes worth of screen time) and none of them are back so far...I had warned Lord Koopa that some of these assignments might have been a bit too harsh. I just hope that we won't end up killing all our soldiers instead of training them!
Just then, some bushes rustle in the background, and Mouser's voice is heard:
-Mouser: Oiii, crabby guy! Is this enough wood for ya?
Clawgrip freaks out as the camera travels around a shot of Mouser who is carrying a huge stash of entire trees on his shoulders, with Lakitu and Fryguy behind him, looking a bit sheepish.
-Clawgrip: Thank you, that's...err....very good work, boys. Put the wood down there, you may go and rest now.
Mouser dumps the stack of wood onto the ground with a loud wham, and the three of them head into the Godiva House, while Clawgrip silently shakes his head over this display of bizarrity. Fade out and cut to a shot of a very travel-stained Triclyde, who is having difficulties making his way through the thick Cote D'or forest.
-Righty: Clyde, we've been ambling around in this forest for ages, we can't get any more lost than this. What should we do?
-Lefty: I have an idea! A very good idea!
-Triclyde: Very well, let's hear it...
-Lefty: Let's just forget the whole thing and head back home!
-Triclyde: No! That is an absolutely rubbish idea! Now pull yourselves together, boys! We're going through with this, the shrine has -got- to be around here somewhere.
-Righty: *groan of agony* How miserable. The sun's already setting, and we -still- haven't found that stupid shrine...
Zoom out to a shot of the sun setting over the lofty forests of the Leonidas Valley, then cut to a shot of the Neuhaus Springs hot-springs resort area. Mouser, Lakitu and Clawgrip have installed themselves in a large pool of thermal water, with warm steam bubbling up from the water. Mouser leans back in the water, resting his shoulders against the rocky edge of the pool and sighs.
-Mouser: This sure is nice...
-Lakitu: Right, this thermal water is so soothing.
-Mouser: No, I meant it's nice that I finally get a bathing scene. I deserve it after all, being this series' most page space-hogging character. Not to mention that I have the best build of any cast member on this show as well.
-Clawgrip: I feel as if I'm a boiled lobster....
-Lakitu: Fryguy, won't you come into the water? It's not deep and there are no sharks, you don't need to be scared!
Zoom out to reveal that Fryguy's standing by the pool's edge, giving the water some nervous looks every now and then.
-Fryguy: Noooo! I don't want to! If I fall into the water, I'll die! Stop talking about such scary things!
-Mouser: Oh, don't tell me a big boy like you is afraid of a little water? Hmmm?
With a mocking smirk, Mouser splashes a handful of water in Fryguy's direction, who dives out of the way with a piercing shriek of horror. This causes his comrades in the spring water to laugh out loud.
-Fryguy: You lot are so mean! You're always picking on me!
-Lakitu: We can't help it, you're too much of an easy target to resist. Just about anything can freak you out.
-Fryguy: But you guys, I'm telling you, something scary really is going on here! Ever since we arrived in this forest, I've had the feeling as if we're not alone here. Don't you get that eery feeling that someone is watching us?
A short silence follows. Mouser, Lakitu and Clawgrip then slowly turn to Fryguy.
-All three: Naaahhh.
-Fryguy: Well, I'm sure -somebody- is out there....it's very scary, I tell you!
-Clawgrip: What you're saying is ridiculous. There is nobody spying on us.
-Lakitu: And if there was, that'd just make him a perverted peeping Tom.
-Clawgrip: Speaking of which, why did Lord Koopa go off to another pool?
-Lakitu: He wanted a thermal pool all to himself so he could take an extensive foot-bath.
-Mouser: Hmm, maybe I should go over there? He might need some extra soap!
-Lakitu: You just -never- lay off...
Fade out and cut to a shot of Koopa and the boys around a large campfire just outside the Godiva House. Clawgrip is roasting some marshmallows over the fire and turns to Fryguy, who is timidly holding a stick with some marshmallows impaled on it.
-Clawgrip: Aren't you going to roast your marshmallows?
-Fryguy: I...I would, but I don't want to get so close to the fire. It's scary...
At the other end of the fire, Koopa is telling an extremely drawn-out story. Mouser is listening with utmost fascination, while everyone else just looks bored.
-Koopa:...And another thing is, when you use after-shave on your feet, make sure you don't forget the space between the toes. But you don't want to put too much lotion there, as that's a very sensitive area. But use plenty just underneath the big toe and around the heel!
-Mouser: Ohh, how fascinating! Lord Koopa, I could listen to you all night!
-Lakitu: I get a feeling he -will- babble on about his feet all the blummin' night. He's been going on like this for an hour!....But, where did mister Godiva go?
Cut to a shot of Godiva, who is standing a short distance away from the campfire. He looks up to the sky pensively.
-Godiva: How strange, all the sounds of the forest are dying down. Maybe something is about to happen....?
A flock of birds then flies overhead, squawking loudly. Looking out over the forests, several groups of birds can be seen, disappearing into the sky.
-Godiva: All the birds are fleeing, that's a bad sign. It almost looks as if....Marcolini, could it be you?
Cut to a close-up of Godiva's eyes who narrow themselves in suspense.
-Godiva: That....would be the worst possible thing.
Fade out and cut to a shot of the Godiva House. It's deep night by now, but the lights are still burning behind the chalet's windows. Cut to a shot of one of the sleeping chambers. Fryguy, Clawgrip, Lakitu and Mouser are installed in individual beds, but none of them display any intention of going to sleep. Clawgrip is holding a book between his pincers and reading through it.
-Clawgrip: Ha ha ha ha! This manga is so funny, I could just kill myself laughing!
-Lakitu: Go ahead, do us all a favor....
-Clawgrip: Ha ha ha ha! This bit is simply too hilarious! Hee hee hee!
-Fryguy: S...stop that. When you laugh so loudly, it...it scares me!
Briefly, a speech bubble with "!!" pops up from Lakitu's head. He then turns to Fryguy with a nasty glint in his eye.
-Lakitu: You know, speaking of scary, I heard something that is really -really- frightening. Absolutely terrifying! It's a story that will scare your socks off!
-Fryguy: Then I don't want to hear it!
-Clawgrip: I would.
-Mouser: Yah, me too. Is it a dirty story?
-Lakitu: Errr, not exactly...
-Clawgrip: Well go on, tell us what it is.
-Fryguy: No! I don't want to hear it if it's scary!
Lakitu, Mouser and Clawgrip exchange a nasty smirk. Lakitu then turns around and begins to speak.
-Lakitu: Allright, since Mouser and Clawgrip insist, I will relate this blood-chilling tale of terror!
Mouser and Clawgrip then close the room's curtains and switch off the lights. Lakitu then turns on a fashlight which he holds up right underneath his face.
-Fryguy: Aieeee!! You look scary like that!
-Lakitu: Just a little mood lighting. Now then, listen carefully to the spine-shaking story of the Marcolini Massacre!
-Clawgrip: What the hell kind of name is that?
-Lakitu: Look, that wasn't my idea! If you must know, I heard about this incident from the old guy Godiva. He told me that this happened fifteen years ago, right in this forest.
-Fryguy: You mean this is for -real-? Nooo, scaryyy!
-Lakitu: Oh yes, every last drop of blood that drips from this grim tale is for real, all of this happened, word for word on a dark night much like this one, fifteen years ago.
-Mouser: Is that really how the old geezer Godiva told it to you?
-Lakitu: No, not really, but I'm trying to increase the mood a little. Now stop interrupting me, I'm getting to the good part.
-Fryguy: Mommy, I'm so scared, so scared, so scared....
Screen fades out while Lakitu's voice is still heard:
-Lakitu: Now then, this is how the grim tale of the devilish Marcolini begins....
Screen fades to a view of the nightly Cote D'or forest. Slowly zoom it to the silhouette of Triclyde who is standing there. Lakitu's voice is still heard, continuing his story:
-Lakitu: The story goes that Marcolini is the most cruel and bloodthirsty forest spirit there has ever been, and it's right here in the Cote D'or forest that he sleeps....
Cut to a shot of a small structure in front of Triclyde. Zoom in to reveal that it's an abandoned spirit shrine, surrounded by charms and spiritual protection objects.
-Triclyde: We found it, this is where he has been put to rest...
-Lefty: Great, let's get moving!
Lefty then inches forward, but he's pushed back by flares of electricity crackling around his muzzle when he tries to get close to the shrine.
-Lefty: Yeouch! My nostrils!
-Triclyde: You idiot, it's obvious that a powerful spell has been placed here to protect this shrine. Until we break the barrier around this space, we won't be able to awaken Marcolini.
-Lefty: Oh, that's just great. What do we do now?
-Triclyde: Righty, get to work.
-Righty: Yes, immediately!
Righty has been clutching a Buddhist pearl necklace between his jaws all this time. He now closes his eyes, and a frown appears on his forehead as he concentrates.
-Triclyde: I'm counting on you, Righty. You must break the spell that's keeping Marcolini prisoner.
-Righty: Understood. I should be able to break this spell, but it will take time.
Righty resumes his concentration, and proceeds with undoing the spell.
-Righty: Silence now, I need complete concentration...
-Triclyde: Dohhh! Keep your sneezes in, you idiot!
-Righty: It looks like this'll take even longer than I expected.
-Triclyde: Don't complain, keep going! We absolutely must release Marcolini from his prison! With such a powerful spirit at my command, the universe will be at my mercy! Uh wuh ha ha ha ha haaa!
-Righty: And he expects me to break a spell in these conditions...*big sigh*
-Triclyde: Oh, sorry.
Fade out and cut back to Lakitu, Mouser, Clawgrip and Fryguy. Some eerie music plays as Lakitu continues his scary story;
-Lakitu: Now then, this is what the old man Godiva told me about the horrors of Marcolini....
-Fryguy: Neeeek! I'm too scared to listen!
-Lakitu: On an ill-fated day, fifteen years ago, three young men went out into the Cote D'or forest to chop wood, much like the three of us have done today.
-Fryguy: Oh no.....no, no, it's so scary!
-Lakitu: They worked hard in the forest and chopped down many trees, not knowing that their action would have terrible results. For the noise of the chopped-down trees crashing down, and the calls of the dying trees summoned the merciless devil Marcolini, and he unleashed the full anger of the suffering forest on the young men!
-Mouser: If this is a horror story, isn't any of those four guys going to get his clothes off?
-Lakitu: Uhm...the old man Godiva didn't specify any details about that. In any case, the slaughter that followed was a true nightmare; Marcolini tore at limbs, clawed at flesh and delighted himself with the sight of scarlet blood gushing from the mutilated corpses of his victims. Only one of the young men managed to escape, and he fled to a small shrine, deep in the forest. In that shrine, a wise old priest named After Eight lived. Using his full force, After Eight managed to imprison Marcolini in his shrine and put up a powerful magic protection barrier around the area. However, this tremendous effort cost After Eight his life. The surviving young man died due to blood loss from his heavy wounds, but before he kicked the bucket, he told all the horrific events to his grandfather Godiva.....
Lakitu then pauses for a moment, but it's at that point that Fryguy's voice resounds. He had been shivering in terror all this time, and finally, no longer able to hold in the panic grips that him, he shouts out with his full force;
-Fryguy: Aaaaaahrg!!! Nooooo!! That is so scarryyyyy! Aieeeee!
Sobbing hysterically, he the dives underneath his bed, where some panicky yelps and whimpers can be heard from time to time.
-Clawgrip: It worked, guys, that ridiculous story freaked him out totally. Heh heh heh!
-Lakitu: Well, wait until you hear the punchline; over the years, the magical barrier that After Eight put up has weakened greatly, and the old man Godiva said something about the silence of the forest this night. What if...someone was trying to break the spell that holds Marcolini prisoner?
-Fryguy: Kyaaaahh! That would be so scaryyy!!
The others snigger nastily at Fryguy's panic-fit. Cut to a shot of Triclyde in front of the small shrine. Righty's long efforts are finally paying off; sparks of green lightning crackle around the shrine, and the magical charms guarding the place shatter. The barrier around the temple vanishes, and is replaced by an eerie silence...
-Righty: Phew...*huff, pant* finally, that barrier is down.
-Triclyde: Excellent. Now, when Marcolini comes out, we must make sure that we capture him in our grasp. Lefty, that is your task!
Lefty looks up, holding a red and white sphere between his jaws.
-Lefty: Yeah! Marcolini getto daze! I will catch it all!
Angrily, Triclyde punts Lefty over the head with a frying pan and shouts at him.
-Triclyde: This is no time for stupid jokes! Get ready, and don't screw up!
-Righty: Guys, here it comes!
Indeed, a pair of large, green eyes then flashes in the darkness, and a pair of glistening white jaws becomes visible. The rapid-moving shape of Marcolini then starts to approach Triclyde. Lefty has taken out a spiritual charm and begins to chant;
-Lefty: Rin, poh, toh, sha, kai, jin, retsu, zai, zun!
A short pause follows, during which nothing happens. Lefty then shrieks in panic;
-Lefty: Aaaargh! I got it wrong! It should be "zai zen"!
-Righty: You idiot! Try something else, quickly!
-Lefty: Okay! Uhm, let's see now....Vade retro, Satanas! Vade! Go on, piss off!
But this has no effect, as Marcolini then opens his gaping maw and pounces upon Triclyde. A column of crackling green lighting bursts into the forest air as Triclyde's screams are heard. After a battered and bruised Triclyde was slammed against a nearby tree trunk where he passed out, Marcolini dissappears into the forest thicket and dashes through the woods, making his way towards the Godiva House...
However, he isn't the only one with that intention. Cut to a shot of Mario, Yoshi, Toad and the princess, making their way through the Cote D'or forest. They're all looking very tired and irritated, except for Mario who has a large backpack on his back.
-Toad: Awww, man, we've been lost in this stupid forest for hours! It's night by now!
-Mario: Don't whine like that, we must keep going on! Koopa has traveled to this forest, locals have spotted him and warned us of his presence here! He's up to no good for sure, but this time, we will make the first move!
-Yoshi: Yoshi hungwyyy.....Wanna eeeeat. I'm not moving until I got something to eat!
-Mario: Oh, okay....
Mario the rummages around in his backpack, takes out Luigi and feeds that to Yoshi. While Yoshi munches away happily, Toad suddenly points into the distance.
-Toad: Look, there's a light over there! Maybe it's a place where we can stay for the night!
They move closer to the spot Toad pointed out and find themselves in front of the Godiva House. A relieved look appears on their faces, until suddenly, a mixture of howls and rumbles is heard. The large shadow of Marcolini crashes out of the woods behind them and zooms towards to Godiva House. It crashes through a wall to make it's way in, leaving the Mario gang rather dumbfounded.
-Toad: What was that?
-Mario: Let's check it out! It's bound to result in a big fight!
-Princess *groan* Why is Mario always so overly enthusiastic about these things? I just want to rest...
Close-up of the princess as she thinks to herself;
-Princess: Just you wait, Mario...if Koopa really is in this forest, and if we find him, I can join his side again, and we will kill you! That'll teach you not to drag me around in a stupid forest!
Cut to a shot of Koopa's flunkies in their bedroom. Fryguy is cowering beneath his covers, sobbing in panic.
-Fryguy: Oh no...I'm so scared....Marcolini will kill me, I just know he will...sniff...whine...
-Clawgrip: Well, it worked. We gave Fryguy the freak attack of his life. But Lakitu, did the old guy Godiva really tell you that freaked story?
-Lakitu: He didn't quite tell it with my flair, of course! But he did state that something like this really happened. Dunno, he must be growing senile.
-Mouser: Yah, all of that is very nice, but I have important things to do now, so I must be off.
-Clawgrip: What kind of important things are you going to do at this time of the night?
-Lakitu: Do we even -want- to know?
-Mouser: Nya ha ha! I'm going to sneak into Lord Koopa's bedroom, and then...rrrrrowf! Adios, have a nice night, suckers!
Mouser then tries to open the door of their room, but to his surprise, the door doesn't give way. Angered, he punches at the door forcefully. This still doesn't open the door, so he shoots it with a machine gun. But the door still stands tall.
-Mouser: What the...?! This goddamn door just won't get out of my way!
-Lakitu: This is strange...even Mouser's punches and a salvo of machine gun fire hasn't harmed a simple wooden door...Oh, and something else is strange....
The room slowly begins to darken, and clouds of green smoke curls up from the ground. Shrieks of terror can be heard from Fryguy as a pair of glowing green eyes then appears in the middle of the room. Slowly, a silhouette appears around these eyes, and Marcolini reveals himself to the four boys.
-Fryguy: Aieee!! It's Marcolini! Nooo, I'm scaaared! Kyaaaah!!
-Lakitu: -That- is Marcolini?
Cut to a shot of Marcolini, who is now completely visible. He looks like a huge, fat black cat with a large bell around his neck and big, green eyes. He looks at Mouser, very intrigued, and moves closer to him.
-Clawgrip: So Marcolini is really a giant ghost cat...doesn't looks all that frightening.
-Mouser: Hey, why is he staring at me like that?! What's your problem, huh, ya big black hairball?
Marcolini then purrs contently and rubs himself against Mouser. He licks Mousers face a few times and continues to purr.
-Mouser: Eewww! What the heck is -that- all about?!
-Lakitu: That's how cats behave when they're happy. Heh, it likes you, Mouser.
-Clawgrip: Oh, how cute!
Indeed, Marcolini is walking around Mouser, still purring happily and rubbing himself against the object of his affections, which doesn't seem to please Mouser.
-Mouser: Hrrrmph, I don't want him to get in my way when I try to get between the sheets with my Lord Koopa.
Mouser angrily paces away and punches his way through the door, while Marcolini contently trots along behind him. Lakitu lets out a big sigh after a moment.
-Lakitu: Oh well, it seemed as if we were almost in big trouble back there, if Marcolini hadn't taken such a liking to Mouser we might have met a gory and violent end.
-Clawgrip: Only, it was too much for Fryguy to take.
Cut to Fryguy, who is lying on the ground unconscious, with his face frozen into an expression of pure terror. Clawgrip pokes him a few times, but this produces no reaction.
-Clawgrip: His nerves must be completely shot...
Fade out and cut to a shot of Mouser walking through the halls of the Godiva House, with Marcolini still following him.
-Mouser: Listen, I told you, you need to clear off now! I can't have you around when I'm in Lord Koopa's room, dammit!
But Marcolini takes no notice of Mouser's angry tone and continues to shower Mouser with feline signs of affection, until suddenly, Mario's voice interrupts the scene:
-Mario: Ah! I knew Koopa and his goons would be here!
Mario, Toad, Yoshi and the princess have arrived on the scene and face Mouser and Marcolini. Mario speaks up with determination;
-Mario: I was sure that Koopa would be planning something rotten when he came to the Leonidas valley! Admit it, this chalet is really a secret base you've been developing!
-Toad: Wow, Mario gets so carried away sometimes....
-Mario: Grrr, I will defend the peace in this beautiful woodlands region! Eat this!
An angered Mario then throws a rock at Mouser. The rock ends up hitting Mouser's forehead, and he rubs the bruised spot.
-Mouser: Owww, you bastard, you're -really- asking for it now...
From behind Mouser, a low hissing noise then resounds; Marcolini is giving a menacing look to the Mario gang. He has his ears turned backwards and his back curled up, and emits menacing hisses at them. A speech bubble with a flashlight pops up next to Mouser, and he then turns to Marcolini with these words;
-Mouser: Wah! They hurt me! Marcolini, go and duff them up really painfully to avenge me!
Marcolini belts out a beastly screech to acknowledge these words from Mouser, and then pounces upon the Mario group, shooting out flashes of green lightning around him. Mario and co run away in terror, screaming at the top of their voices as Marcolini chases them, clawing away and shooting out bolts of ghostly green plasma, which destroys most of the surrounding walls and furniture. Mouser then grins sneakily.
-Mouser: Good, that should do the trick. Now that all of them are gone, I can proceed with my original plan; pay Lord Koopa a little midnight visit! Nee hee hee, let's go, go, go!
Cut to a shot of Koopa in his bed. His feet are placed on a big, fluffy cushion, and he adresses these words to them;
-Koopa: Now, before we go beddie-bye, I'm going to read you a bedtime story, boys!
He takes out a colourful-looking manga and begins to leaf through it's pages.
-Koopa: Ah yes, we were at the bit where the Lovely Romance Fighter Sweety Candy had been saved from the forces of evil by a mysterious and cool-looking man with a really snazzy hairdo. Now then...
But just then, the door bursts open, and Mouser barges in. Koopa quickly hides his manga and turns to Mouser.
-Koopa: Mouser, what are you doing here at this time?
-Mouser: Uhm...*slight blush* well, I was just dropping by, you know....*big blush* I figured you might need some extra foot lotion or something and...*huge blush* well, okay, sorry for bothering you, I'll go away now...
As Mouser turns back to face the doorway, he grits his teeth and thinks these words to himself:
-Mouser: Damn me, I'm such a wimp! I can't .....I simply can't tell him what I really want face-to-face, I don't have the courage! Daaaamn, but I really -really- want to! Man, it's just too difficult, I can't do it!
-Koopa: Were you saying something about foot lotion?
-Mouser: Huh? Oh, never mind....
-Koopa: There's no lack of lotion on my behalf, but I regret that we couldn't take the Flurries along. They couldn't stand the climate here, but their absence is a bummer. My poor feet could do with their daily licking right about now....oh well....
-Mouser: Lick...yo...your feet? *slight nosebleed* Lord...Lord Koopa, if...it's so urgent, I would....would you allow -me- to take care of it? Pleeease?
-Koopa: Eh? Hmm, why not, I suppose it beats nothing at all.
Cut to a quick shot of Mouser, with an enormous grin and heart-shaped eyeballs, surrounded by small angels carrying signs that read "YES!", and a piece of victorious trumpet music playing in the background, then cut back to Koopa's room. Mouser takes a few steps towards Koopa, trembling and staggering, while a fountain of drool spills from his lips. He thinks to himself with great excitement:
-Mouser: Oh wow, wow, wow! I must be dreaming! Lord Koopa wants me to lick his feet! I could just dieeee now! Thank you so much, my god, thank you!
-Koopa: Uhm, Mouser, you look rather strange. Are you sure you're feeling allright?
-Mouser: Huh? Oh, I feel fine, don't worry. Please hold out your feet, I'll do my best on them!
-Koopa: Okay. Start with the left small toe, will you?
But just as Mouser is about to take a slurp at Koopa's feet, a tremendous crashing noise is heard, and half the room comes tumbling down. Mario and co come rushing past, shrieking in panic, while Marcolini still chases them, shooting out destructive green bolts around him, which have just destroyed most of Koopa's room. The rest of the Godiva house has been reduced to rubble as well by this chaotic chase. The shock has caused Koopa to jump to his feet. He stares at the chaos, while Marcolini disappears into the distance, still chasing after the Mario gang, who'se squeaks can still be faintly heard.
-Koopa: Wha...what was -that- all about??
Mouser, who is lying a few feet away from Koopa then looks up with big, watery eyes.
-Mouser: Awwww man, I was -this- close! Just a few more -seconds- was all I needed, but everything is ruined! Damn, what a major rip-off!
The sun has started to rise in the meantime. Lakitu and Clawgrip clamber from the ruins of the Godiva House, carrying the still shell-shocked Fryguy.
-Lakitu: Hmmm, I guess this incident will serve to keep the phoney ghost myth of Marcolini alive for a few more decades...
Godiva himself them clambers onto the scene, sobbing in despair.
-Godiva: Nooo, my beautiful chalet! What have you done to my chalet?!
-Clawgrip: Uhm...does this mean the training voyage is over?
-Koopa: You bet. I've had enough of the forest, we're outta here.
Cut to a shot of the Koopa bus speeding out of the forest as fast as it can. Camera then travels over a view of the Leonidas Valley. Marcolini pops onto the screen with a gleeful meow and waves goodbye to the bus.
END of this episode