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Super Mario Parody Story:
The Super Mario Bros. Freaky Show!

By Toasty
-Mario: Salut, les mecs! Voici le Super Mario Brothers' Freaky Show! C'est ringard!

Episode 11: "Parents of Panic"

"Plumber's log, number nobodygivesadamn. We had gone to the Not the Nine o'clock News kingdom, because we had heard that a gruesome tyrant was brutally oppressing the innocent Mushroom population of this idiotically-named kingdom, and we were there to free them from this reign of blood, terror and petty sadism..."

Fade in to the main Mushroom town of the Not the Nine o'clock News kingdom. Mario, Yoshi, Toad and the princess are standing on the town square, looking most bored. Mario is carrying a large backpack.

-Princess: Aww, not -again- with the plot set-up of saving some naff kingdom from a flipped tyrant who always turns out to be Koopa. Like, big surprise.

-Toad: It must be about the twentieth time they're using this kind of plot excuse. Tsch, I can't believe people actually got -paid- to write these crap storylines.

-Princess: Well, the catch is, they didn't.

-Toad: Figures. Well, anyway, why exactly are we standing around on the town square like this? It's not like that's in any way going to get us anywhere.

-Mario: Well, I can't really think of anything better to do...

-Yoshi: Maybe this town square is tasty?

At that moment, a pudgy Mushroom blokey with a badly-drawn vest and moustache comes running towards them, and in an irritatingly squeaky voice, he addresses these words to them:

-"Greetings! Welcome to the Not the Nine o'clock News kingdom! I am the mayor of this place, Mayor Imbecillini! I am the token pudgy and squeaky-voiced Mushroom mayor in this episode, and I will be of no use whatsoever!"-

-Princess: Shut yer face! I hate you!

-Mayor Imbecillini: But, your highness, princess Toadstool, I am one of your loyal Mushroom blokeys!

-Princess: Well, that doesn't mean I have to like you! This whole place is deprived, retarded and just plain rubbish! I never agreed to come here and save them from some nutty tyrant, let them die!

-Mario: Yeah, but, we need to have -something- to do in this episode.

-Princess: Give me one good reason why. Our viewer ratings are at absolute rock bottom, nobody's watching, we might as well just screw up and do as we please!

-Toad: But that's exactly what we do in every episode as it is.

-Yoshi: Hmm, I wonder what Mayor Imbecillini tastes like?

-Toad: Like horse vomit, by the looks of it.

-Yoshi: Oh! Yummy!

-Mayor Imbecillini: Uhm...excuse me, can I say something?

-Princess: No!

-Mayor Imbecillini: But, it's kinda important to the plot, you see.

-Toad: Oh, so there is a plot after all? Well, let's hear it, then.

-Mayor Imbecillini: Okay! It says in my script that I'm supposed to be dead grateful that you came to save us from the tyrant...

-Princess: We never said we'd do that...

-Mayor Imbecillini: Oh...well, but then it says in my script that nobody knows where the tyrant's secret headquarters are, and that it's a major problem.

-Toad: Good heavens, you're stupid! What are you, a Luigi?! Can't you just order the citizens of this crappy place to go and look for the secret hideout?

-Mayor Imbecillini: Well, I would, but you see....well, there's some kind of...ehm, problem with the citizens of this kingdom...

-Princess: And that would be?

-Mayor Imbecillini: Well, basically, they're all dead.

Everyone slams onto the ground at the sound of this news. They then get up and angrily snarl at the irritating mayor

-Princess: And you didn't think you should tell us a little -sooner-?!

-Toad: Well, if they're all dead, we might as well clear off again, right?

-Mario: 'spose so.

-Yoshi: Okay, bye-bye then.

-Princess: See ya.

-Toad: Toodle-oo.

-Mayor Imbecillini: What? You're leaving?

-Toad: Sure as hell we are.

-Mayor Imbecillini: So you're not going to retrieve the huge stashes of money that the evil tyrant ripped off after killing everyone??

Everyone immediately comes rushing back and stares at the mayor with huge, fiery eyes.

-Everyone: Moneeeey? Huge stashes of it?

-Mayor Imbecillini: Uhm, yeah...the ugly bastard attacked the town, killed everyone and then ripped off every single scrap of cash he could find. He's got the entire fortune of the Not the Nine o'clock News kingdom stashed away in his super-secret hideout by now! I took a picture of him while he attacked, and he looks like this!

He then holds up a simplistic drawing of a miserable stick puppet. Mario closely inspects this.

-Mario: Just as I expected, it's Koopa! Allriiight! Let's head to his hideout, right away!

-Toad: But, nobody knows where it is.

-Mario: Doh...that's right. Oh, but wait! I happen to have a handbook on finding the secret hideouts of evil thugs packed in my backpack! Just give me a minute!

Mario then takes his large bag off his shoulder, opens it and begins to rummage around in it. He takes out a slip, a photo camera, Luigi, a lucky cat doll, and finally, a tacky-looking book.

-Mario: Ta-dah! There it is, the official handbook on how to find the secret hideouts of nasty thugs!

-Toad: Yeah, right, such a thing actually exists....

-Mayor Imbecillini: Yes, it does, I wrote it!

-Princess: Then it has to suck! Now, Mario, Toad, Yoshi, you go and look for the hideout! Meanwhile, I will just stay here and be strictly useless!

-Toad: So, what else is new? Oh well, let's go, guys.

Mario, Yoshi and Toad then leave the town, but the princess still shouts these words at them:

-Princess: Oi, Mario, you forgot some of your stuff! Take it with you!

She then picks up the slip, the camera, the lucky cat and Luigi, whom Mario had left lying on the ground after unpacking them, and throws them in Mario's direction. However, Mario fails to catch the objects, and they end up falling into a lake and sinking.

-Mario: Hey! That was my slip!

-Toad: Oh well, don't feel bad about it. It's not like there was anything really important among those things, right?

-Mario: You're right, just a slip, a camera, a cat doll and...uhm...something else, but I can't remember what it was.

-Toad: See? It's totally unimportant.

They then walk off. The camera shows a shot of Luigi, who's limpid body comes drifting back to the surface of the lake in which he landed. Camera then cuts back to the princess.

-Princess: Heh heh, good, that's them out of the way. So, Koopa killed everyone here and he now has all of this kingdom's moolah? Mighty cool, we should be able to have loads of fun with so much cash! I'll phone him right away, with my annoying trendy mobile phone! (I'm a modern villainess after all).

-Mayor Imbecillini: What's that? You're going to telephone the evil oppressor Koopa?

-Princess: You...you've overheard me?!

-Mayor Imbecillini: Every single word!

-Princess: Then, you must die!

She then takes out a pistol and fires a bullet right through the irksome mayor's moronic face. He falls to the ground with a sloppy "thud" noise.

-Princess: Ahh, I feel much better now. Right, now to get on the phone with my hot and hunky Koopa!

Cut to a shot of Koopa's castle, plain out in the open. Fade in to a view of the Koopa Kafé. The room is entirely empty, except for Fryguy, who's sitting by the bar on his own, trembling nervously. Cigarette butts and empty packs of cigarettes surround him. He tries to light another ciggie, but his hands are trembling so much he fails to do so.

-Fryguy: Ahhh, no wayyy! It's terrible, so terrible! How am I ever going to survive this?! I'm so scaaared!

-"So, what else is new?"-

-Fryguy: Huh?

Mouser has slantered into the bar and takes a seat next to Fryguy. He contemplates his surroundings for a while.

-Mouser: Man, have you been hitting the nicotine big time.

-Fryguy: Well, I can't help it! I really need to steady my nerves for today!

-Mouser: And just what's so extra-scary about today, then?

-Fryguy: Well, you see, it's....it's...my parents are coming over!

A speech bubble with "!!" written in it pops up next to Mouser as his eyes widen.

-Mouser: Your folks?? What in hell do they want to -do- here?

-Fryguy: Well, they want to check on how my career in the Koopa army is going. You see, they're the ones that pushed me to enlist in the Koopa army in the first place. They were hoping it'd make me into a man.

A bemused smirk appears on Mouser's face as he leans closer to Fryguy.

-Mouser: Oh, and tell me, what does that make you now, eh?

With a mocking grin, he then pinches Fryguy's cheek, who rapidly turns away from this unwanted lewd taunting gesture.

-Fryguy: C...cut that out! *muttering* Man, I'm surrounded by homos....

-Mouser: *glares* Yeah, you got a problem with that?

-Fryguy: Uhm...uh...no, not really, I just....

-Mouser: You looking for a chance to have your face redone with heavy metal bullets?

-Fryguy: I didn't mean to...I...I just...

-Mouser: That's fighting talk, sonny! You've got an appointment with Mister Missile now!

-Fryguy: Aiiieee! Please don't hurt meeee! I'm scaaared! Mwaaahahahaaa, I want my mommyyyy!

And suddenly, a loud voice is heard, answering Fryguy's last phrase:

-"She's right heeeere!"-

Fryguy and Mouser turn around to spot a pudgy flame woman with ludicrous neon-pink glasses, over-the-top make-up and a big, funky hat adorned by huge ribbons.

-Mouser: Who in hell is that?

-Fryguy: Mouser, that's my mother, Frymom.

-Mouser: If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes....

At that point, Frymom was suddenly overwhelmed by a tide of motherly instincts, which she put into words thus:

-Frymom: Ohhh, theeere's my darling snuggly little coochybuns! Fryguy-sweetheart, come to mamaaaa!

With those words, she hurled herself at Mouser and liften him up, intent on cuddling him to the extreme, but he prevented this action by shouting these words:

-Mouser: Oi, lady, what do you think you're doing! Put me down! I'm not your twerpy son, he's over there!

-Fryguy: Mom, you should straighten your glasses...

Frymom then went silent, put her glasses on properly and gave Mouser a long, contemplative look.

-Frymom: My god, how horrible.

-Mouser: Talkin' to me?!

She then nonchalantly dropped Mouser on the floor and turned to her proper son, radiating exaggerated affection.

-Frymom: Fryguy, daaarling, you've grown so much! Oh, my little honey sweety angel baaaby! I remember when you used to be just a teeny tiny flash in the pan! And now you're such a big boy...*sob* oh, this is too much, the emotion is more than I can take! Mm...mwaaaah!

-Mouser: Hmm, looks like nervous dispositions run in the family.

-Fryguy: Mom scares me when she acts like that...

-Mouser: Wasn't your old man supposed to be here as well?

-Fryguy: That's right, what could be taking him so long?

But at that point, a hand was firmly and suddenly placed on Fryguy's shoulder, and the words "Well, son, how's it hanging?" were clearly pronounced.

-Fryguy: Yeep! Scary! What's this?!

A panicked Fryguy turned around to find himself face-to-face with his grinning father.

-Fryguy: Papa, don't scare me like that!

-Frypop: Hrmmph, I'm dissappointed with you, son!

-Fryguy: What? What have I done now?

-Frypop: We were hoping that joining the Koopa army would give you a more firm temperament, but you're still as much of a whiny twerp as you've always been!

-Mouser: Wow, talk about an affectionate family *sweatdrop*.

-Frypop: Hmm, well, well... *turns to Mouser* And who might this strapping young lad be, eh?

-Mouser: Don't get any funny ideas, you dirty old man!

-Frypop: Ho ho ho! Spirited one, eh? It's good for a young man to have guts!

-Fryguy: Ehm, papa, this is Mouser. I work with him.

-Frypop: Ah, excellent! Now, Fryguy, why can't you be more like him?

-Fryguy: Papa, trust me, you don't want that to happen.

-Mouser: Hmph! Not in a million years would that no-hoper be anything like me!

-Frypop: And tell me, Mouser, me young lad, why did you join the army, eh?

-Mouser: *suppressing a blush* None of your goddam business!

-Fryguy: Well, he joined because he wants to shag Lord Koopa.

Everyone smashes onto the ground upon hearing this remark. Mouser then gets up again and begins to strangle Fryguy.

-Mouser: You little...! I'll kill you, slowly and painfully!

-Fryguy: Rhaaaa! Haaaalp! Scaryyy!

However, this violent scene is interrupted by the arrival of Triclyde, in his Trashika guise, who enters the melée with these words:

-Triclyde: Well now, what's going on here?

-Mouser: Oh, it's you? Just piss off now.

-Frymom: Hmm, who is this, then?....Oh my, she sure is ugly...

-Frypop: Fryguy, is this your girlfriend?

-Fryguy: Wuh...what?! No, no, it's not like that! *huge blush* That's to say, I....uhm, you see....

-Frypop: Never mind...*sigh* He'll never get anywhere this way.

-Frymom: Don't push him so much, dear, he's only fifteen, he's still such a baby!

-Fryguy: Mom!

-Mouser: Well, it's a shame, but he'll die young, I assure you!

-Fryguy: Nooo! Leave me alone already!

-Frymom: Oh, I was just wondering, who is that rodent rowdy with all the piercings and the leather duds?

-Fryguy: We've told you, that's Mouser.

-Frymom: I see. Is he your boyfriend?

-Fryguy & Mouser: No way!!

-Mouser: He should be so lucky! Listen, for me there's only one man, I'm the official love-slave of Lord Koopa!

-Frypop: Well, good for you, me boy! Now then, won't we be introduced to this charming young lady, Fryguy?

-Frymom: What charming young lady?

-Fryguy: Oh yes, right. Mom, papa, this is my other co-worker, Trashika *light blush*.

A muffled voice is heard, mumbling something about "mmmh, he's really cute".

-Triclyde: *whisper* Lefty, shut yer face!

-Frypop: What's that? Did you say something, miss Trashika?

-Triclyde: Uhm....ah, no, no! Not at all! Hi hi hi! It's just sooo delightful to meet you, sir!

-Frymom: Now, Fryguy, are you eating properly?

-Fryguy: Uh....yes, fine, not to worry, mom.

-Frymom: Hmmm, I'm not so sure. What do they serve in this Koopa Kafé place?

-Mouser: Cheap booze, cheap pills and cheap smokes.

-Triclyde: And, on today's menu, there is, for starters, globs of badly-drawn stuff made out of lord-knows-what, and the chef's special is lightly roasted leftover celluloid.

-Frymom: What?! That is disgraceful! I can't let them feed my poor babycakes so badly! I want to speak with the chef, immediately!

-Mouser: Look, that's really a very bad idea...

-Triclyde: Chef Clawgrip has got one hell of a bad temper, he doesn't take criticism very well.

-Frymom: Well, see if I care! I want to go and kick up a big stink about this and be totally obnoxious! And don't you try to stop me! Come along, dear!

Dragging Frypop with her, she then stampeded off towards the kitchen, leaving the three Koopa flunkies behind.

-Fryguy: Oh no, they're always embarrassing me...

-Mouser: Heh *grin*, you know, this explains a lot....

-Triclyde: Shouldn't we go after them and make sure that things don't go too horribly wrong?

-Mouser: Yah, probably...

Fade out and cut to a shot of Koopa, who is wearing a pastel pink tutu, and practicing some delicate ballet steps in front of his mirror. Suddenly, the telephone rings, he loses his concentration and crashes to the ground. He clambers towards the phone, picks it up and speaks these words into the device:

-Koopa: Thizzzz iz a dirrrrty phonecallll.....

From the other end, the princess' voice is heard, pronouncing this reply:

-Princess: I figured it'd be. So, I hear you nabbed all the dough of this kingdom?

-Koopa: Oh, it's you, hot babe! Yah, I ripped off the whole cash-stash. You should come round to see me, we could get down and get totally funky with so much money all to us.

-Princess: I was hoping you'd say that. Trust me, I'd love to come over and see you, my horse-butt ugly heap of smelly industrial waste, but you'll have to tell me where your secret hideout is hidden first. No-one knows where it is, see.

-Koopa: Ah, yes. You're going to love this, I've thought of an incredibly ingenious strategy to hide my fortress. They'll never find it! You see, my castle is hidden behind a bush!

-Princess: Eh?

Cut to a shot of the outside of Koopa's castle. The ten-story castle is plainly visible in the open, but a small, scrawny bush has been placed in front of the building. Cut back to Koopa's telephone conversation.

-Princess: Koopa, my darling dog's mess with flies buzzing around it, how exactly can you hide one of your showy, huge castles behind...a bush?

-Koopa: You can't, that's the beauty of it! They'll never figure it out!

-Princess: Hmm, now that you mention it, being the hopeless idiot he is, Mario probably won't figure it out, yes....You're right, we have nothing to worry about! I bet he's totally stumped by this!

Cut to a shot of Mario, Yoshi and Toad, who are dragging themselves through the plains of the Not the Nine o'clock News kingdom. Koopa's castle can clearly be seen in the background.

-Mario: It's hopeless, we've been searching for -hours-, but haven't found anything at all! Toad, what does our script say here?

-Toad: I dunno, Yoshi ate the script.

-Yoshi: It tasted terrible.

-Mario: Bummer, man. Looks like we'll have to go on searching.

They walk on for a while, until Mario suddenly steps on something. A squelching noise, and a shriek of pain are heard. Mario looks down and notices that he has stepped on Luigi.

-Mario: Oh, I was wondering where I had left that.

-Toad: He must've gotten washed onto the shore by the underwater currents of the lake....probably.

-Mario: It's not like he'll be of any use. Oh well, I say we take a rest here, we'll continue to look for Koopa's quarters later.

-Yoshi: Good idea, I could do with a nap.

-Toad: Myah, we didn't expect Koopa to hide his castle so ingeniously. This intensive search really is draining.

-Mario: Well, let's catch some Z's, then.

They then slump down onto the ground, and land on Luigi. He squeaks in agony, but the others have already fallen asleep on top of him. He tries to free himself from this hefty weight by struggling a bit, but before long, he runs out of strength and faints, face-forwards into a puddle of mud. Fade out and cut to a shot inside the kitchen of the Koopa castle. A large Clawgrip crab, adorned with a chef's hat and a filthy apron is angrily facing Frymom and Frypop. Mouser, Fryguy and Triclyde/Trashika are watching from a distance.

-Chef Clawgrip: Oh, so you have a problem with my cooking?!

-Frymom: Indeed I do! It's disgraceful! I will not allow my son to be fed so unhealthily!

-Mouser: I don't see why she gets so worked up. It's not like anyone ever orders any food at the Kafé.

-Triclyde: Must be a mother's thing.

-Frymom: In any case, I will undertake action, I assure you! You won't get away with this!

-Chef Clawgrip: Oh, suuure, and what exactly will you do, eh?

-Frymom: I'll do this!

Angered, she then picks up a burning pan from the stove and smacks Clawgrip over the head with it.

-Frymom: It's disgraceful that you should serve such garbage! I mean, just look at this food, it's disgusting! Disgusting! Arrrgh!

She then picks up a large pan, hoists it above her head and smashes it onto the ground. The icky contents of the pan are sent flying all around the kitchen.

-Chef Clawgrip: Oi, lady, there's no use going hysterical over this!

-Frymom: Oh, yes there is! This has gone far enough! Fryguy-sweetheart, I won't let them do this to you! You're coming back home, on the double!

-Everyone: Whaaat?!

-Mouser: Well, why not? It's not like he'll be missed here or anything.

-Fryguy: No, nooo! I don't want to go back home! Noooo!

-Triclyde: Why's that? What's so great about this place?

-Fryguy: Nothing, it sucks, but at home....I'm not allowed to smoke at home!

-Frymom: Now, Fryguy, be reasonable and do as your mommy says!

-Fryguy: No, I don't want to! Mouser, Miss Trashika, don't let them take me away! Save meeee!

-Mouser: Because you expect us to, like, give a damn?

-Fryguy: I swear that if I have to go back home, then...then I'll kill myself!

-Mouser: Oi, Frymom, Frypop, go ahead and take him home, as soon as possible please!

-Fryguy: You're all so mean! I hate you all! Waaahhh!

-Chef Clawgrip: A-herm, sorry to interrupt, but would you please be so kind as to push off from my kitchen? I have work to do here, see.

-Frypop: We wouldn't have stayed another minute if we were dying. Let's go, son.

-Fryguy: I won't! No, no, nooooo!

Fryguy then hurls himself at Mouser and grasps onto him tightly.

-Fryguy: Mouser, don't let them take me away! Please, do something!

-Mouser: Okay, I'll do this!

With one hand, he peels Fryguy from himself and hurls him away. Fryguy lands in a large pan of spaghetti.

-Mouser: No-one glomps onto me like that, my body belongs entirely to Lord Koopa! Little runt!

A silence then follows. Everyone stares at the pan into which Fryguy has been hurled.

-Triclyde:....And now?

-Frypop: Nothing's happening...

-Chef Clawgrip: My God! Everybody, run! Run for your lives! He fell into the weekly spaghetti special!

-Everyone: Gasp!!

At that point, the pan begins to tremble, and loud, roaring noises are heard, as the entire kitchen begins to shake violently.

-Chef Clawgrip: No, it's too late! We're all doomed now!

-Mouser: Why, what's the big deal on that spaghetti?

-Chef Clawgrip: That's my pet. I think he has gotten angry now.

-Mouser: The spaghetti is your pet? Gimme a break...

A loud "phtooie" noise is then heard, and Fryguy is shot out of the spaghetti pan, screaming in panic. He lands in front of the others and takes refuge behind Mouser and Triclyde, slobbering in terror.

-Triclyde: Just what is going on with that spaghetti? I have a very bad feeling about it.

-Frypop: It doesn't smell too good either.

-Chef Clawgrip: I fear the worst. The spaghetti's angry, prepare yourselves for something terrible!

The room then begins to tremble more violently, and a huge column of slimy, pale yellow tentacles bursts out of the spaghetti pan and crashes right through the ceiling.

-Frypop: Well, my word! What is it doing?!

-Chef Clawgrip: Oh no, it's terrible! The spaghetti has escaped! It's gone out of control! We must stop it before it takes over the whole castle!

Cut to a shot of Koopa, who is speaking these words into his telephone:

-Koopa: Okay, so that's settled, I'll pick you up at seven to go see the public executions. I've got to run now, babe, there's a wierd rumbling noise. It must my troops making a total mess out of everything, I'll have to check it out.

-Princess: Okay, see you this evening, my slurpmeister!

The phone conversation is ended in these words, and Koopa hangs up. But then, the castle suddenly begins to shake and rumble, to Koopa's great surprise.

-Koopa: Yeep! What the...?!

The door to Koopa's room then bursts open, and a horde of slimy spaghetti tentacles bursts in and grabs him.

-Koopa: Eeyaaargh! What the hell is going on?! No! I had agreed in my contract that I wouldn't do tentacle scenes! Lemme goooo!

Cut to a shot outside of Koopa's castle. The building is slowly torn apart by an ever-growing mass of spaghetti tentacles that expand ever faster. Soon, the whole castle is destroyed, and a pulsating mess of tentacles is left, reaching into the sky. At the top of this tower of slimy threads, Koopa is being held, wrapped up in a few undulating pasta wires.

-Koopa: Haaaalp! Stop thiiiiis!....Hmm, actually, it feels pretty good....

At the base of the tentacle monster, Mouser, Triclyde, Fryguy, his parents and Clawgrip are standing, gasping in disbelief.

-Mouser: No! That monster has got Lord Koopa, and it's harassing him! I must save him, at any cost!

-Chef Clawgrip: What? What are you going to do?

-Mouser: Gruwhoaaarrrgh, full power! Fire all turrets!

He then whips out his full arsenal of cannons and fires repeatedly. A storm of bullets is projected onto the mutant pasta, but alas, the bullets simply bounce off from the thick, slimy substance.

-Mouser: It didn't work?! Damn it! And again! Eat thiiiis!!

He fires his full array of heavy artillery a second time, but once again the bullets just bounce off the monster's squishy hide.

-Mouser: And again! Diiieee!

-Chef Clawgrip: Stop it, it's no use! Gosh, you're stubborn.

-Mouser: Okay, so then what do we do, big genius? It's all your fault in the first place!

-Frypop: Fryguy, what are you waiting for?! You're a soldier, go on and give that tentacle monster a ruddy good punch in the face! Go on, my boy!

-Fryguy: You must be joking! Me, against that thing?! I'm way too scaaared!

-Frypop: Son, would you dare to disgrace our family?

-Frymom: Oh no, I could never go to bingo again!

-Fryguy: I...I see, they're really counting on me. Ah, I know! I'll use my special power!

-Frymom: Sweetie, you have a special power?

-Triclyde: Well, sort of, he does, but don't expect too much from it....

-Frypop: Excellent, son, I knew you had it in you! I knew you'd make it far someday! Show us this special power!

-Mouser: They're in for one hell of a let-down....

-Fryguy: Okay, here I go! To me, my weapon! The Kaleido Moon Smoke!

He raises one arm, and the Kaleido Moon Smoke appears in a flash of pink light. Brandishing this weapon, he takes out three cigarrettes.

-Fryguy: Momoko, Yuri, Hinagiku! Go for it! Fight that monster for me! Forward!

He makes a few gestures with his weapon, but as usual, nothing happens at all....

-Frymom: And...what exactly is the special bit about this?

-Frypop: He's just talking to a few cigarettes. What good will that do?

-Mouser: Well, I told you not to get your hopes up for this.

-Triclyde: And what do we do now? Mouser's guns don't work and there isn't anyone or anything remotely useful around.

-Mouser: No, impossible, I can't just leave Lord Koopa like this! There must be some way to get rid of this monster!

But at that point, Mario's voice is heard, shouting in staggered disbelief

-Mario: Whoooaaaw! Pasta, so much pasta!

-Everyone: Huh??

They turn around to spot Mario, accompanied by Yoshi rushing towards them, with enormous grins on their faces. They immediately hurl themselves at the mountain of mutant pasta and begin to eat it, with grotesque slurping noises. Toad then slanders onto the scene as well.

-Chef Clawgrip: Now, just what is going on here?

-Toad: I was hoping you'd tell me. See, we were just taking a nap, because we were tired from searching for the ingeniously-hidden Koopa castle, when suddenly, we heard this huge noise. Then, we saw a great, big slimy thing burtsing out from a building in the distance. Mario recognised this as pasta, and, well, you know how he reacts to pasta.

-Triclyde: Oh yes, to get rid of pasta, you need to eat it. Why didn't we think of that?

-Toad: Probably, because you have as much as...oh, two brain cells between the lot of you.

-Mouser: Just you watch it, magic mushroom.

At that point, a loud burp is heard. Mario and Yoshi have finished eating. They're lying on the ground, with their stomachs bloated to the limit, like two giant hot air balloons. The spaghetti monster is entirely gone, except for Koopa, who is lying on the ground in front of the ultra-bloated Mario and Yoshi. Mouser immediately rushes towards him.

-Mouser: Oh, my poor baby! Lord Koopa, are you all right?! Say something!

-Koopa: Mmmumble....

-Mouser: Ah, he seriously needs a mouth-to-mouth treatment!

-Koopa: No, I don't! Get off!

Koopa then punches Mouser in the face and tries to escape his grasp.

-Mouser: Ohh, yeah, hurt me again, you know what I like...

-Koopa: Get this maniac off me!

Koopa then manages to get to his feet and runs off, with Mouser chasing him.

-Mouser: Wait, Lord Koopa, come baaack!

Toad then begins to roll the enormously fattened Mario and Yoshi away, with these words:

-Toad: Well, it was very nice to have lunch with you lot, but we must be going now. See ya!

After Toad, Mario and Yoshi have disappeared from the scene, Frymom and Frypop turn to their son.

-Frypop: Well, son, your mother and I have been thinking...

-Frymom: Only a little, mind you.

-Frypop: Yes, and we think that this Koopa army thing is...well, simply ludicrous. It's full of maniacs, perverts, bums and hooligans, it's nothing but stupidity, nastiness, non-discipline and all-round rubbishness!

-Fryguy: Oh no, so does this mean....

-Frypop: In other words, this place is perfect for you! By being as utterly hopeless as you've always been, you fit right in here, and you make a fine Koopa soldier!

-Frymom: I'm so happy, my baby finally found a good profession! This is just the thing for him!

-Fryguy: You...you mean it?

-Frypop: Sure thing! Keep up the good work, son, your mother and I are going now.

-Frymom: Toodle-oo, sugarbunny!

They then leave the scene as well, and after a short silence, Fryguy pronounces these words.

-Fryguy: Phewww, I was really scared there for a sec. Hmm, that's the first time they said they were proud of me. Pretty cool, if I do say so myself, I think I quite deserve a cigarette to celebrate. Yes, that's just the thing now, exactly.

-Triclyde: Why is Fryguy talking to himself?

-Chef Clawgrip: Probably because he's a moron.

-Triclyde: Definitely....

Screen fades out...

END of this episode


 

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