|Super Mario Alternate Universe Story:
Mario's High School Days: Super Turbo
Tokyo, the largest city on the globe...
Every day, countless hearts beat ever faster, in order to pump countless gallons
of warm, flowing blood into countless human bodies.
An innumerable number of words are spoken, steps are taken and wishes are made,
every day, in the streets of Tokyo.
Tokyo; it is truly a place like no other...
But, the existence of Tokyo rests on a delicate balance. And those who are charged with the task of maintaining this equilibrium are a group of selected young boys and girls.
These young people have made the decision not to turn away their eyes, and have broken open the door to a new era. The year is now 2000, and the earth has witnessed the birth of a new century. A new age where anything is possible, and where once again, the stars of destiny will bathe Tokyo in their unpredictable light....
An ordinary morning in Tokyo; everyone is gradually awakening and heading out into the streets to go to their work. At the Nintendo High building, Mario and Luigi have gone to the top floor, where they are now in conference with their principal.
-Peppy: Welcome, Mario and Luigi. I have finished updating your S-type radar software.
-Mario: Well, gee, thanks. But, weren't those S-types supposed to be all toasted?
-Peppy: I admit that you have done a remarkable job in saving the city from their influence. However, one can never be too sure. Therefore, these updated Game Boy cartridges contain a more performing kind of radar program. It will now react to nearby S-type presence with a built-in warning buzzer.
-Mario: But, are you sure we will need those? I mean, ever since we fried their base last year, everything has been peaceful.
-Luigi: That's true. Principal, are you expecting a new series of attacks soon?
-Peppy: I cannot say. But still, we need to take our precautions. I'm sure that if we will have to deal with the enemy again, they will try to use a different technique than last time.
-Mario: Hey, no sweat, if they haven't learned their lesson yet, we'll soon sort it out. After all, we are the invincible super turbo harbingers, right?
-Luigi: Mario, you're being too easy about this, as usual....
-Peppy: On this subject, please listen carefully. When you first transformed into the harbingers, that was proof that you are indeed the ones we were looking for. If a new attack does take place, you will once again have to fuse the N-force into you.
-Luigi: Does that mean we'll have to go see that strange relic thing again?
-Peppy: I have given this matter some though, and I've come up with an alternative for that. Please take these items.
The principal then hands them two object that look exactly like N64 controllers. One is red, the other is green.
-Mario: Gosh, principal, you really like to disguise fancy items as videogame peripherals, don't you?
-Peppy: Uhm...*grin* Well, I think it looks quite tasteful.
-Luigi: Anyway, what are these controllers really for, principal?
-Peppy: These devices are in fact very sophisticated transmitters. That is to say, they can establish a link with the relic on the top floor, from wherever you are. By activating a link between these transmitters and the saint relic, you can call upon the N-force to transform you at any moment, from any location.
-Mario: Wow, nifty!
-Peppy: But, there is one thing. I'm afraid that for now, the transmitters will only function if you both activate them at the same time.
-Mario: At the same time...so, unless we use them while we are together, it won't work? If I try to use it on my own, it will have no effect, is that it?
-Peppy: Exactly. This may be because you had both touched the relic at the same moment when you first transformed. We're still working on fixing this minor bug.
-Luigi: Principal, if you have taken so many precautions, I can only assume that you really are expecting a new arrival of our enemies in the near future, am I right?
-Luigi: No need to beat around the bush, principal. I want to know, and so does Mario.
-Mario: Hey, I never said anything!
-Luigi: But I know that you think the same way, Mario. After all, this is our duty. It's the one thing only we can do, and I'm sure that protecting this city and all the people around us means a lot to you as well.
-Mario: Uhm...you don't usually talk like that, Luigi *embarrassed grin*.
-Peppy: Once again, I'm impressed by your rapid and mature spirits. Unfortunately, at this stage, we still don't know anything for sure. But, count on it that I will inform you as soon as more is discovered about the current state of our enemy. For now, all we have are some strange reports of a sudden concentration of violent seismic activity in the Southern American region.
-Mario: And...why should we care about that anyways?
-Peppy: I'm not sure yet, but a few days ago, a sudden violent cataclysm occurred in the Amazon region. Similar disasters have taken place at other locations in the world lately, and every time, a large ruin from an ancient civilization was heavily damaged or even completely destroyed in the process. The ancient Inca cities in the Amazon jungle, the temples of Angkor Watt, and quite a few other famous archeological sites have fallen prey to such disasters.
-Luigi: And you're suspecting that there's an enemy behind this....
-Peppy: Each incident is strikingly similar. It's logical to presume that someone is systematically attacking the ancient ruins all over the world.
-Mario: I don't get it. Why would they bother to blow up a bunch of old buildings in the middle of nowhere? That hardly makes any sense.
-Luigi: Come to think of it, it is rather odd...
-Peppy: I'm afraid that, for now, we still haven't figured out what the enemy is really after.
-Mario: Tsch, typical. Another freak pops by and begins to give us grief. Won't they ever give us some rest?
-Luigi: Just a minute ago, you were bragging on about being the super hyper harbingers....
-Mario: Well, even the saviors of Tokyo need to relax a little every now and then!
-Peppy: That's quite true. It's time for lunch break now. Please go about your usual activities.
-Mario: Oh, great, lunch time! Let's go eat! See ya, principal!
-Luigi: Mario, really...try to respect proper decorum a little more...
The morning classes had ended, and the students of Nintendo High were enjoying an afternoon break. Just outside the school gates, the four Star Wolf boys were standing, leaning their backs against a wall.
-Leon: Oi, how much longer do we have to wait?
-Wolf: I dunno. Musashi said she'd have finished work at around 12 o'clock, so she should be here soon.
-Leon: Tsch, women, they're never punctual, and they always get in one's way. That's just one of the many reasons why I don't like them at all.
-Andrew: Hey, you shouldn't talk like that. This Musashi girl may be a bit odd, but she's okay in the end.
-Leon: Well, I still can't see why Wolfy bothers with her.
-Wolf: Well, uhm...*grin* you know, it's just one of those things.
-Leon: Yeah, I had figured as much....*mocking look*.
At that moment, Musashi popped up behind them, and made her entrance with these words:
-Musashi: Hi, boys! I do hope I'm not late?
-Wolf: Oh, that's allright, really.
-Musashi: Aww, but I'm sorry to have left you waiting here for so long. I promise I'll make it up to you, Wolfy.
-Leon, Andrew & Pigma: What exactly does she mean by that??
-Musashi: Boys, today I'll treat all four of you to lunch. Hey, I know this really cool place, at the Nagano Sun Plaza where they serve dumplings that you could just die for!
-Pigma: Ooh, I like dumplings...
-Wolf: But, Musashi, you really don't have to do that....
-Musashi: Hey, it's no problem! Your boys are like sons to me!
-Leon, Andrew & Pigma: Yikes!!
-Musashi: And besides, my financial situation is just peachy now that I've finally found the perfect job! I first thought that being a janitor at Nintendo High was not glamorous enough for a woman of my beauty, but it's the best! It's easy to do, it pays well, and Kojiro takes over from me in the afternoons, so I have loads of time to spend with my dear, sweet boyfriend! Aaah, life is good!
-Wolf: When I think that just a few months ago, you were still trying to dump me into a prison cel...
-Musashi: Yeah, things sure change, don't they?
-Leon: That said, Wolfy, if she does ever raise the subject of handcuffs, I suggest you run away very quickly...
-Musashi: Hey, what kind of a person do you think I am?! I'll let you know that I am now a firmly established and highly respected employee of a top-class educational facility!
Kojiro then popped up and added his grain of salt:
-Kojiro: Musashi, being a school janitor really has gotten to your head, hasn't it?
-Musashi: Kojiro, you're late! You should've been here ages ago, I've finished my morning shift half an hour ago as it is! You're being a right slacker, as usual.
-Kojiro: That's not true! I take my work very seriously. After all, I am the dashing and stylish Team Rocket Janitor number 1!
-Musashi: Just a second, I am Rocket Janitor number 1, you are number 2! Ladies always go first, remember?
-Kojiro: That's unfair! I should be allowed to take the number one spot too! I work just as hard as you do!
-Musashi: Well, if you really want to appear as such a hard-working person, I suggest you get to work quickly, as you're already well over half an hour late!
-Kojiro: What? Oh, yikes, so I am! Yada Kanjiiii!! Gotta run!
And run he did. As quickly as his feet could carry him, Kojiro rushed off into the main building. He rushed past two people who had sat down on the stairs in front of the main entrance for their lunch break; Yoshi and Peach, who commented on Kojiro's stormy passage in these words:
-Yoshi: Oh, that was our new janitor, that freaky guy Kojiro.
-Peach: Mister Kojiro really takes his work very seriously, doesn't he?
-Yoshi: It's probably because he values a job where he won't get scolded for doing his warped intro speech....Now, I can't figure what's keeping Mario and Luigi so long. It's almost as if they're making a habit out of spending ages in conferences with our principal.
-Peach: I quite agree. It may not be fair of me to hold this against Mario, but it does annoy me quite a bit when he spends more time yakking with the principal instead of being with me.
At that moment, Mario and Luigi made their entrance with these words:
-Mario: Yo, princess, how's it going?
-Peach: Don't "yo princess" me, Mario. What took you so long, anyway?
-Luigi: We're sorry to be late, really.
-Mario: But it wasn't our fault. Come on, princess, don't be so harsh on me.
-Peach: Yes, well, it's very rude of you to leave a lady waiting, I'll have you know.
-Mario: Awww...but princess....
-Peach: Hrrmph, I don't want to hear about it.
-Luigi: Heh, Mario, maybe you shouldn't have given Peach the nickname "princess". *grins* Instead, I think "samourai" suits her better as a nickname, don't you agree?
-Mario & Peach: Samourai?!
-Mario: Luigi, you're outta your mind!
-Luigi: I'm merely making a perfectly true observation. If you upset a samourai, you'll get your fingers burnt, right?
-Mario: Oh, yeah, really cute, Luigi. If Peach's a samourai, then Sammy should be Godzilla!
-Luigi: Hey, leave Sammy out of this!
-Mario: Well, you started it!
-Luigi: That's no excuse to talk like that about Sammy. "Godzilla" doesn't suit her at all, since she's really a very kind person.
-Mario: Right, and I suppose she's never capricious to you and never chews you out at all?
-Luigi: No, hardly ever, now that you mention it....
-Mario: What?? That's not fair! I don't get it!
-Peach: Well, Mario, contrary to you, Luigi is a thoughtful and sensitive person who does his best not to upset the ones that matter to him.
-Mario: Awww, princess...*sigh*, why is everyone being so harsh on me?
-Yoshi: But I think she's quite right. Nice shot there, "samourai".
-Mario & Peach: Don't you start that as well!
-Yoshi: Oh, allright, forget it.
-Mario: It's not fair, everyone's against me!
-Yoshi: Well, it's only just starting. Mario, I hope you've successfully accomplished the extremely important mission that I entrusted to you.
-Luigi: What kind of a mission is that?
-Yoshi: Sorry, top secret. I can't reveal anything to civilians.
-Luigi: There he goes again...
-Peach: That's a definite sign that this is something food-related.
-Yoshi: Well, private Mario?
-Mario: Don't panic, Yoshi, I've done it, allright. Here you go.
Mario then took a lunchbox out of his bag and handed it to Yoshi.
-Yoshi: Good work, soldier. I see you've successfully prepared a bento. Now, to test it...
-Luigi: Just as I expected, it's another one of his twisted plots to con others out of food.
-Yoshi: No, it's not! The ability to prepare a proper bento is a vital skill for any cook worth his salt! It's my duty as the club president to give Mario extensive training in this area!
=side note: "bento"; a Japanese lunchbox=
-Mario: Besides, it's no problem for me. It was easy to make this bento. In fact, I've managed to make a second one. Here, princess, would you like it?
-Peach: Oh, that's very kind of you.
-Mario: Hey, don't mention it, anything for you!
-Peach: Well, thank you ^^.
Peach then took the second bento from Mario's hand, and after a short hesitation, she added the following words:
-Peach: Oh, and Mario....I'm sorry to have been so strict with you back there. I hope you're not offended.
-Mario: Nonsense, I'm not offended in the very least! I guess I was a bit of jerk to leave you waiting for so long.
-Peach: No, it's allright. I'm the one who was being unreasonable to you.
-Mario: No, no, don't say that, I was being terribly insensitive!
-Yoshi: Oh man, first they nearly bite each other's head off, and then they go into the other extreme by acting like this...
-Luigi: But, I think that shows that they really are very close, don't you?
-Yoshi: To me, it shows that they're both deranged. Now, let's eat!
But before they could do so, they were interrupted by a particularly commanding voice belting out the following phrase:
-Falco: You're in the way, kiddies!
Indeed, the group of Mario, Luigi, Yoshi and Peach was taking up all the space on the steps that led to the building's main entrance. However, Yoshi was in no mood to act humble now.
-Yoshi: Wow, if it isn't king cranky.
-Falco: Hrrmm, and now you're even starting to talk back to me? Why I ought to....
At this moment, Foxy popped up from behind Falco, an made the following attempts at smoothening this awkward situation out:
-Fox: Sorry about this, really. Please don't take it badly, but if you could perhaps make way. We were heading for the cantine, see.
-Yoshi: Oh! You should've said so! One should never be separated from food, that is the most horrendous agony known to man!
-Peach: The most horrendous agony known to you, in any case. It's the only thing you ever think of?
-Yoshi: Hey, enough already, samourai.
-Mario: I won't allow you to speak to Peach like that!
-Yoshi: Oh, come on, I was just joking, keep yer slip on!
-Luigi: How is this possibly related to keeping on an undergarment, if I may ask?
-Yoshi: That's just an expression, I didn't mean it literally.
-Falco: Well, I did mean it literally when I told you to clear off, and I won't warn you a second time.
-Mario: Oh, allright, allright. Gosh, you're being bossy today.
-Luigi: But, he's always like that....
-Fox: I think it's because he doesn't like to go hungry. He has a very big appetite, you see *grin*.
-Falco: I do -not-.
After the others had moved aside for a bit, Foxy and Falco were able to move up the steps. Before they disappeared into the main building, Foxy still found time to rapidly address these words to the four others:
-Fox: Well, see you later, everyone.
With that, they vanished from the scene. After a short silence, Mario picked up the conversation again with this phrase.
-Mario: He's still as bad-tempered as ever. I really pity Foxy for having to put up with someone like that.
-Peach: Still, it has occurred to me that lately, McCloud seems more relaxed and happy than usual. Haven't you noticed?
-Yoshi: Yeah, he's been like that since he and Falco moved in together.
-Luigi: Eh, he did that?
-Yoshi: Yup, from what I hear, Foxy's folks have gotten together again, and they're very much back in love.
-Peach: Miss Masako has returned to James? That must be nice for Foxy as well....
-Yoshi: You'd think so, but instead, I'm told that it kinda bothers him. I'm guessing that he feels he's in their way, so instead, he moved into Falco's apartment just last month.
-Luigi: That's right, I've heard that Falco has been living on his own for a long time.
-Mario: Now I really feel sorry for the poor guy. I'd go nuts if I had to share a flat with such an impossible person.
-Peach: But maybe it's different for Foxy...
-Yoshi: Oh! Aaah, oh my God! Something terrible has happened! It's a disaster!
-Luigi: What? Yoshi, what's the matter??
-Yoshi: We've forgotten all about starting to have lunch!
-Yoshi: Well, what?! That's a major league catastrophe in my books! Food can't wait! It's imperative that we eat immediately!
-Luigi: Well, if you say so, yes...oh, wait a minute. Mario, I don't suppose you've managed to prepare bento for both of us as well?
-Mario: Sorry, I forgot all about that *big doofus grin*.
-Luigi: Swell, looks like I'll have to go hungry for the rest of the day.
Just then, Samus popped up behind them, greeting them with these words:
-Yoshi: Yikes! Oh, Sammy, it's only you. Man, you nearly gave me a heart attack.
-Luigi: Sammy, what brings you here?
-Samus: Wah, Luigi, there you are! I was looking for you! Here, have some of this!
She then pressed a lunchbox into Luigi's hands.
-Luigi: Oh, that's a bento. Why, thank you, it's just what I needed.
-Samus: Really? Great! I hope you'll like it, I was up all night working on it!
-Yoshi: She takes a whole night just to prepare one lunchbox? Oh, brother....
-Mario: I'm expecting a major catastrophe from this...
-Luigi: Stop that, you two! No, really, thanks a lot, Sammy.
Luigi then opened the bento and took a bite from it's contents. A silence followed, after which Luigi slowly turned himself to Sammy, and while bravely holding a smirky grin on his face, he managed to mutter these words:
-Luigi: I...iddzzz ve.....ver.....verrrrry goodddddd.......
-Samus: Aah, you mean it? Yahoo, way to go! Then, I must write down the ingredients, so that I don't forget what I used! Gotta run, then, see ya!
She then darted off at full throttle, leaving a cloud of dust behind.
-Mario: There really is something of a Godzilla about her...Oi, Luigi, are you allright?
-Yoshi: Of course he's not. After tasting that, he might as well be eating his chopsticks. Luigi, you had better get rid of that bento.
-Luigi: I will do nothing of the sort! I'm going to eat every last bit of it!
-Mario: But, Luigi, that stuff is bound to be nasty! Eating that lot might kill you!
-Luigi: You're overreacting, Mario. I don't care how horrid it tastes, I don't want to hurt Sammy's feelings.
-Yoshi: Oh, it's a love suicide....
-Peach: How touching.....
-Mario: Suicide? You lot are taking this too far!
-Peach: Well, you're the one who said that it'd kill Luigi.
-Mario: I was just joking! It won't kill him at all, right Luigi?
However, Mario got no reply to this question, as Luigi had passed out from bravely trying to eat the horrid food. Noticing this, Mario freaked out.
-Mario: Oh no, it's too late! I could've stopped him, but I wasn't quick enough and now I've lost my only brother! Aieee, it's a catastrophe!
-Peach: Mario, calm down, he doesn't look dead to me.
-Yoshi: She's right. He's alive allright, he's only having stomach cramps.
-Mario: Then I'll take him to the infirmary, right away!
Later that afternoon, Luigi was installed in a bed in the infirmary. He had not yet woken up, and had been asleep in a normal and perfectly peaceful condition for the last few hours. The afternoon classes were at an end, so Mario came to check on him. As soon as Mario had reached the infirmary, Doctor Joy addressed these words to Mario:
-Joy: You! Shame on you! You shouldn't let your pet get so ruffled up!
-Mario: *sweatdrop* For the last time, he's my brother, not my pet, and it had nothing to do with me. *sigh* Mr. Grey, is she always like this?
-Bill: Yes, its' exactly the same thing every single time. I think it's because doc is really very concerned about the patients.
-Joy: I told you not to call me doc!
The sound of rapid footsteps then interrupted them, and a very nervous-looking Samus burst into the infirmary.
-Samus: Oh no, now I've really done it! I went over the ingredients I used, and then I remembered that I had confused the soy sauce with the washing-up liquid. My God, what have I done?!
-Joy: Oh, so you're the one behind this? It's absolutely scandalous that you should do such a thing to your pet!
-Samus: But...but I...I didn't do it...*sob*..on purpose...and *sniff*...waaah, you're so meeean! Boooh, I didn't want to hurt my Luigiiii!!
-Mario: Talk about overreacting. Oi, Sammy, it's no big deal.
-Bill: That's right, it's nothing serious as it is, he'll be just fine in no time.
-Samus: Myeah...but...I'm just so clumsy, Luigi must hate me now...
-Mario: Naah, Luigi is far too much of a softie to actually hate somebody. Don't worry, Sammy, it's really nothing serious.
-Samus: Easy for you to say. I feel very bad about this.
-Mario: Well, in that case, why don't you stay here to look after him? He should wake up soon enough, then you'll see that he won't be angry one bit.
-Samus: You're right, I'll stay here and wait until he wakes up. But, Mario, aren't you staying here as well?
-Mario: No can do, Sammy. You see, I'm supposed to help out Saria with her big project this afternoon. I'm late as it is.
-Samus: What project is that? I know nothing about this.
-Mario: Well, from what I've heard it's a drama play to help raise funds.
-Samus: Oh, that's right. But what are the funds for, then?
-Mario: The idea is that, with the funds, we'll buy the ground where the Venom building and the enemy base used to be, and make it into a park or something. Something nice'n simple where no suspicious companies will build their headquarters anymore.
-Samus: Oh, I see. Well, good luck to her. I rather doubt that the funds raised by a charity play will be enough to afford grounds in downtown Tokyo....
-Mario: You're quite right, there's no way we'll get enough cash, but she still insists on going through with it. You see, Nintendo High can quite afford such an expense on it's own funds, but she's so obsessed with our principal that she wants to stand by him in every possible way, so she organized this whole thing as some sort of labor of love to lend a helping hand to the principal.
-Samus: Well, she sure goes to great lengths for him....Typical of her.
-Mario: That's true. Well, I should really go. She'll murder me when she sees that Luigi couldn't come, so if I'm terribly late as well, all hell will really break loose. I'll see you and Luigi later.
-Samus: Yes, see you!
Mario then made his way to the auditorium, where the rehearsals would be held for the charity play. As soon as he opened the door, he was hit by the full force of a loud and commanding voice belting out the following phrase through a director's megaphone:
-Saria: You! You're late!!
-Mario: Oi, what are you trying to do, shatter my eardrums?
-Saria: Never mind, just hurry up and move the set pieces into the right positions. Bowser's already at it.
Indeed, Bowser was carrying a large cardboard tree around, assisted by Malon, who helped him to drag the huge thing around the stage. Saria, however, didn't seem pleased and instead shouted many angered directions at them from her megaphone:
-Saria: No, no, more to the left! No, that's too far! Go back! A little further! Now move back a bit! Just a tiiiny bit more! Go on, we haven't got all day!
-Bowser: Argh...does she have any idea how heavy this thing is?
-Malon: Even with the all-conquering power of love on our side, carrying this abomination is a very difficult task.
-Bowser: Hun, you don't need to help me out. I can handle it, you can quit if it's too heavy.
-Malon: No, I won't hear of it! My love, I'm there to ease every trial for you!
-Saria: Stop yakking and get dragging already! Come on, what's keeping you lot so long!
Yoshi and Peach entered the auditorium at that moment, adding these words to the conversation:
-Peach: Oh my, she really is being strict on those two...
-Yoshi: Yet another "samourai", huh?
-Saria: Yoshi! It's about time you got here! You're very important to this project!
-Yoshi: Ah, I see, you want me to take the part of the handsome and dashing prince of your story, eh? An excellent choice, I can't say I blame you.
-Peach: You're talking like Lombardi.....
-Yoshi: Well, it's true, I will be the prince, won't I?
-Saria: No way. You'll be the prince's valiant steed. Get into your horse costume, on the double.
-Yoshi: Not on yer life. I'm not going to play a bleedin' horse. What where you thinking of? I'm outta here...
-Saria: I see, then you leave me no choice. I didn't want to resort to this....Yoshi, in return, you will be given a two months supply of biscuits!
-Yoshi: Three months!
-Saria: Two months and a week, that's my maximum bid!
-Yoshi: Well, allright, but they had better be chocolate biscuits.
-Peach: But, Saria, if you won't use Yoshi, who will be the prince of the story?
-Mario: Well, go figure. I bet she'll use Link.
-Saria: That did cross my mind, but then he would have insisted that Zelda became the story's princess.
-Yoshi: Is that so?
-Saria: Yup. They're getting along very well lately. He's been spending lots of time over at the Mushanokoji dojo after school. I just hope that that ape-woman doesn't brutalize him....
-Mario: Sure sounds like a case of "beast gets the beauty".
-Saria: Well, anyway, we couldn't use the queen of the freaks as our princess, so I had to find someone else.
At that moment, another figure entered the auditorium and addressed Saria with these words:
-Fox: Uhm...excuse me...
-Saria: Ah, it's you!
-Yoshi: Eh?? Is -he- the one?
-Saria: Foxy, did you manage to bring Falco along?
-Fox: Yes, but he still doesn't like it very much, I think.
-Falco: Like hell I don't. Why should I waste my time with such nonsense?
-Saria: Ah, just the one I was waiting for!
-Yoshi: Ooohhh no, I'm not being the horse of that maniac!
-Falco: Whatever you're referring to with that, I don't want to hear it.
-Saria: Relax, Lombardi is just perfect to be the story's main villain.
-Falco: In yer dreams.
-Saria: Oh, come on, you're perfect for the part of the evil emperor of the Shadow Kingdom.
-Falco: I shouldn't think so. I won't do that, and you can't make me.
-Saria: Rats! Foxy, do something!
-Fox: What? But...why me?
-Saria: He'll listen to you! Come on, I need him!
-Fox: Well, I guess the evil emperor would suit you, Falco...
-Falco: Tsch, and I thought you were on my side.
-Fox: No, wait, I...uhm...I mean, the lead villain always gets to wear to most impressive outfits, and...well, and he's often a darkly attractive and imposing man. So, that's why they need you. You're the only one who has the right mix of attitude and elegance.
-Falco: Hmm...that's a point, I suppose.
-Saria: Yes! It worked! Brilliant, Foxy!
-Peach: He knows him like a book, doesn't he?
-Fox: Uh...*blush*...so you'll do it?
-Falco: Whatever. I have nothing to lose with this.
-Saria: Brilliant, all is set, then!
-Peach: But, you still have no prince and princess.
-Saria: Oh yes, I do! I found the perfect actors for the roles of prince and princess. Oi, Mars, Shiida, over here!
Alerted by these words, two Nintendo High students headed towards Saria
-Mars: Yes, what is it?
-Yoshi: Aaaah, it's those two! Mars and Shiida!
-Peach: You know them, Yoshi?
-Yoshi: Of course! I've heard a lot about them! They're the founders of our school's amateur movie club. They both have amazing acting talent, and many have predicted a glittering future for them. They're the glamorous pair of the movie club; Mars and Shiida!
-Shiida: The very same! Ah, it's great to be a celebrity!
-Mars: It's an honor to be so well-recognized. But, I've heard about you as well. You're the current president of the cooking club, aren't you? Oishidesu Yoshi, is that right?
-Yoshi: Absolutely! Oishidesu Yoshi, at your service! It's an honor to be known by you, Mars!
-Mars: Oh, *smile* please, really...
-Mario: But, with a name like that, everyone will have heard of you, Yoshi *grin*.
-Shiida: It sure is an unusual name.
-Peach: But it suits him very well, don't you think?
-Saria: It suits him right down to the ground.
-Yoshi: Hey, don't tease me about that!
-Shiida: Sorry, but you have to admit, it -is- pretty funny.
-Yoshi: *sweatdrop* Oh, yeah, hysterical. Bunch of heartless monsters....
-Saria: Allright, now we can really get started on "Snow White of the 21st century"!
-Peach: Oh, is it going to be a Snow White re-make?
-Saria: Not just a re-make, it's more than that! This version is far more trendy and up-to-date. See, in my version, Snow White isn't some wussy bimbo that falls for a dumb apple trick. Instead, she's a really cool girl who transforms into the beautiful magical fighter princess ShiroYuki! As the fighter princess ShiroYuki, she kicks the teeth in of the evil overlord, but with his last energies, the bastard manages to mortally wound her with a poison dart before he croaks. Then, the princess buys the farm as well, but the cute prince revives her with a sweet and passionate kiss!
-Peach: Well, uhm...that's....quite a story.
-Saria: It'll be a hit, I'm sure of it! Now, where is princess ShiroYuki's cutesy guardian animal?
-Kirby: Over here.
-Saria: Ah, good, you'll be just perfect for this role!
-Kirby: I will get two months worth of sweets for this, won't I?
-Saria: Well, of course! Why do you doubt it?
-Kirby: Just checking....
-Saria: I can guarantee you that you won't be disappointed. The financial manager of my project has got it all worked out, haven't you, Wario?
-Wario: Leave me out of this....
-Mars and Shiida; these two are indeed based on Ninty characters. Specifically, they're the lead characters from the early Fire Emblem games. Fire Emblem is a very popular series of NES and SNES strategy-RPGs that were never released outside of Japan. Their being cast as prince in princess in the play is appropriate, considering that the Mars and Shiida in the games are both of royal blood as well.
-Oishidesu Yoshi; this can roughly translate into something like "It's tasty, allright!", which is why Yoshi gets teased about it. Note that the Japanese usually stick to a last name-first name order when stating names.
-Princess ShiroYuki; Shiroi Yuki = White Snow. Geddit? ^^)
A few minutes later, the rehearsal was in full swing. Right now, it was time to practice for the final scene where the deceased princess is revived by a kiss from Mars.
-Saria: Allright, first off, the seven dweebs carry the coffin in which they have placed the princess' body onto the stage and begin to snivel miserably. Allright, lights, camera....
-Wario: Wait, there are no cameras. You're not doing a cinema production.
-Saria: Aww, but I've always wanted to say something like "lights, camera, action!". Oh well, a simple "and don't mess up again!" will have to do, I suppose.
With that, the seven little Koopas, who had been more or less forcefully persuaded into the roles of the seven dweebs came onto the stage, carrying a large coffin on their shoulder, in which Shiida had been placed. Slowly and in silence, they headed towards the middle of the stage, with grave expressions on their faces. However, Shiida ruined their display of character acting by pronouncing these words from within her coffin:
-Shiida: Hey, watch where you're going! I'm getting seasick inside this thing! Try not to rock the bleedin' thing all the time!
-Saria: Doohhh! Cut!! Shiida, that was wrong! Try to keep quiet while you're inside that coffin! After all, you're dead!
-Shiida: What?! You're calling me dead?! That is such a lie! My career is in full fling, I'm alive! I'm hip, I'm funky, I'm happening!
-Saria: No, no, that's not what I meant! We can't have a voice coming out of princess ShiroYuki's coffin!
-Shiida: Well, it's not my fault if the seven dweebs can't properly carry a delicate young woman.
-Ludwig: Now she's blaming us...
-Iggy: It's not like we even remotely wanted to be the seven dweebs in the first place.
-Roy: Yes, and this coffin is terribly heavy as well.
-Shiida: Now you're saying that I'm heavy?! This is scandalous! I won't stand for it!
-Wario: Man, what a prima donna. It's bad enough having Lombardi with his huge narcissus-complex in our cast, but she may be even worse.
-Saria: Yes, professionals are just so difficult to work with. Well, never mind, seven dweebs, just put the coffin down...
-Shiida: Gently! Very gently!
-Saria...Yes, that as well, put it down and we'll do the scene where the prince kisses her back to life. Mars, are you ready?
-Mars: Yes, I'll do my best.
-Wario: Gee, aren't you terribly nervous about having to actually kiss Shiida in front of everyone? On a stage, at that?
-Mars: Ah...uhm...well, a bit.
-Saria: This is no time for that! You can't back off now! Go for it!
-Mars: Yes, right away.
Mars then clambered onto the stage and knelt down in front of the coffin. As he pronounced his major emotional monologue, a silence fell over the deeply impressed spectators.
-Mars: Princess ShiroYuki...no, not you. This is just not fair...You have always fought so bravely, and you've faced so many trials, you don't deserve this. You've risked yourself for the sake of protecting us all....you were so strong, and yet, you have to suffer such a cruel destiny...my princess....
The others, who were watching this scene, exchanged a few remarks in hushed voices.
-Malon: Oh, he really is good. Don't you think it's wonderfully touching, my beloved?
-Bowser: *eyes brimming with tears* Oh, it's so terribly tragic...*sob* the poor princess!
-Yoshi: Well, I'm just glad I don't have to appear as the horse in this scene. It's humiliating.
-Kirby: I agree 100%. I'm no better off in the role of ShiroYuki's mascot animal. Honestly, for the proud members of the cooking club to be subjected to such treatment is simply wrong!
-Yoshi: How true. Why did it have to be us that were cast as the animals of the story exactly?
-Kirby: We may be getting lots of food for this, but it sure is hard-earned.
-Peach: Please keep quiet, he's getting to the bit where he kisses the princess back to life.
-Yoshi: Oohhh, a big sloppy wet kiss scene, I was waiting for that!
-Kirby: I bet twenty-five yen he'll kiss her with tongue and everything!
-Wario: You're on!
-Peach: Impossible....they are simply impossible....
-Mars: I've lost the most courageous and beautiful of women, before I ever got to thank her for all her kindness....I never even got to tell her...how much I've always loved her...and now, it's too late. Everything is lost. But even so, princess ShiroYuki, may this message reach you, wherever you are now....
A silence then fell, during which Mars seemed to hesitate.
-Yoshi: What's he waiting for?
-Kirby: Oh no, he mustn't chicken out! My 25 yen depend on it! You go, Mars!
However, Mars was having many doubts, and spoke these confused phrases within himself:
-Mars: That sure is easy for him to say....but I'm scared to death of this. Knowing Shiida, she'll either be enraged at me and say that I took advantage of the situation, or she'll be disappointed and say that I underdid it on purpose. Damn, it's so difficult! If only I could be sincere about how I feel for Shiida! This is so awkward....but still, there's no way back, so here goes!
Having made this decision, Mars bravely plunged forward, hell-bent on giving Shiida the kiss to end them all. Alas, in his nervous hurry, he had overlooked one detail: he had not yet removed the glass lid of the princess' coffin. So instead of reaching Shiida's face, his lips and the rest of his face slammed down onto the coffin's lid with a loud crack. Everyone around him then crashed to the ground in exasperation
-Wario: Not again! That's the third glass coffin lid he's ruined so far!
-Saria: I don't believe it! What is the matter with that guy?! Hrrmph, professionals are simply impossible to work with!
However, their arguing was suddenly interrupted by the sound of an applause. Surprised, everyone turned around and spotted an unknown man, dressed in a long white trenchcoat, with light brown hair standing in the doorway of the auditorium. He was slowly applauding for them, with a large smirk on his face. After that, a silence fell, which the newcomer broke with these words:
-"My, my, that's an excellent performance, I must say. I especially care for the unexpected twist at the end"-
-Wario: Another wise guy, huh?
-Peach: This is strange...
-Falco: You said it...that guy, whoever he is...there's something about him....I don't like this one bit.
-Fox: Falco...what's wrong?
-Falco: I don't know....but I feel strange about this.
-Mario: Just who are you, mister?
-Saria: I bet he's a famous drama critic who came to sample my genius! Oh, and he's cute, too!
-Wario: Your imagination is running wild....
The stranger then answered with these words:
-"The name's Sekai Rousseau. But it's "mister Rousseau" to you!"-
-Saria: Oh, anything, you say -mister- Rousseau!
-Rousseau: I really wasn't expecting something like this from this place.
-Saria: Yes, I admit that my interpretation may be unconventional in some areas....
-Rousseau: No, I'm not referring to that. I meant this place as a whole. A high school, it sure is an original idea. Who would have suspected that this is where the harbinger dwells?
-Peach: Oh!! So...you know?
-Mario: You know what is really going on here? How are you involved in this?
-Rousseau: Well, I'm involved in this war in the sense that I will bring it to an end! Thanks to the supreme beings, I have been enlightened! And now, after a long journey, I've finally found this place; the powerpoint which is keeping our noble species trapped!
-Kirby: It's bad...if this means what I think it means, then we're in a major mess.
-Yoshi: Well, whatever this Rousseau is up to, it's bound to be something pretty dodgy.
-Rousseau: Wu ha ha ha ha! Now is the time! I'll destroy the powerpoint with my talents! And while I'm at it, I might as well take all of Tokyo down with me! You're all finished!! Waaah ha ha ha haaa!!
As Rousseau belted out a booming laugh, the entire building began to tremble...
-Wario: What's this? An....an earthquake?!
-Rousseau: Exactly! With my powers, I will reduce this building to rubble!
-Saria: He's causing this earthquake?!
-Mario: Ah! Now I get it! You must be that guy that principal mentioned! The one who's been messing up ancient ruins all over the world! You're the one behind their destruction!
-Rousseau: Sorry, kid, but I have no interest in dealing with the small fry. I expect it was one of my colleagues getting wild at the old ruins. But it doesn't matter! Once I've torn down this whole building, nothing will stand in our way anymore!
-Peach: He's going to destroy the building with his earthquake! Mario, hurry, it's up to you now! Use your talents as the harbinger to stop him!
-Mario: Count on it! Oh...wait, just a second....
-Peach: Is something wrong?
-Mario: Yes, I just remembered! Unless Luigi and I are together, we can't transform and use our harbinger powers!
-Yoshi: Now he tells us?! What are we going to do?! He'll bury us alive!
-Falco: Not if I can help it. Fire arrow, arise!
A bow and an arrow built up of intense flames appeared before him as he spoke those words. He reached out for the newly-summoned weapon and pointed it towards Rousseau.
-Falco: You're going to fry, sucker!
-"No, you musn't!!"
This interrupting phrase had been shouted out by Syrup as she rushed into the auditorium with Gannon. She added the following words:
-Syrup: Don't kill him! He's not what you think!
-Kirby: What do you mean? He's an enemy, one of those S-types, right?
-Gannon: Not exactly. Something unexpected has happened. This Sekai Rousseau is well and truly human.
-Falco: Makes no difference to me. Human or whatever, he's trying to kill us, and I won't allow it!
-Peach: No, I do not agree! That's not the right way!
Determined, Peach then dashed forward and placed herself between Falco and Rousseau.
-Peach: No matter what his intentions are, I won't allow you to commit murder, Lombardi. Shoot if you will, I'm not moving from this spot!
-Mario: Princess....princess, what the hell are you doing?!
-Falco: Allright, lady Gandhi, if I don't shoot, we all die. I'll give you one chance. Now get out of the blummin' way.
-Peach: I won't! If we start to kill our own kind, we're no better than the S-types! There's another way, I'm sure of it!
-Fox: I think she's right....
-Fox: Falco, please...please listen. It's not the right way...It won't bring us any further....
-Falco: Do you actually believe in that?
-Fox: Maybe I don't...but in any case, I don't want you to become a murderer! You're not like that, I know it!
Foxy then moved closer, and placed himself in front of Peach.
-Fox: If you want to kill people, then you might as well start by killing me. Because if the real you is a killer, then I might as well give everything up...But still...Falco...I trust you.....
After hesitating for a while, Falco then lowered his weapon, and the flaming bow and arrow disappeared again.
-Falco: Allright then, have it your way. Let this Rousseau turn the building into a tomb for us all, see if I care.
-Mario: He won't do anything to this building! Someone needs to fetch Luigi, quickly!
-Gannon: Don't worry about that, it's been taken care of. Luigi should be on his way as we speak.
-Rousseau: Wu ha ha ha ha! How pathetic! You stand no chance against me!
-Bowser: This has gone far enough. It's time we started to kick back.
-Malon: I fully agree! We'll keep him calm until Luigi gets here, count on us!
-Yoshi: Malon, Bowser!
-Bowser: It's allright, we can deal with it.
-Malon: We won't fail.....Koopa Prism Power, Make Up!!
After Malon had transformed, the two bravely began to face their new enemy....In the meantime, Samus was still at the infirmary. Luigi had woken up just a few minutes ago, and had reassured her that everything was allright and that she had no reason to blame herself for her slight faux pas. However, their peace was broken by Rousseau's earthquakes, which could be felt even on this floor of the building. At that moment, Link and Zelda rapidly came into the infirmary and addressed Luigi with these words:
-Zelda: Oi, wimpy boy!
-Samus: Watch that "wimpy boy" stuff, ape-woman!
-Link: Please listen. It's very urgent. A new enemy has appeared. He's causing the current earthquake.
-Zelda: Yeah, we're really in it deep this time.
-Link: Luigi, the principal entrusted us with the task of taking you back to Mario.
-Luigi: Oh, that's right, unless Mario and I are together, we can't transform.
-Link: Exactly. Mario and the enemy are in the auditorium as of now.
-Zelda: I'll warp us there with the Samba of the Assembly Speech! Get ready!
The ground shook ever more violently, and shards of stone and iron were being projected at Malon and Bowser, who tried as well as they could to weaken the violence of Rousseau's earthquake. Alas, they were forced to admit their defeat when they were knocked to the ground by the flying debris.
-Malon: He's too strong! We can't even get close to him!
-Bowser: Owww...damn it, we got whipped...there's nothing more we can do now.
-Wario: Oh no, I'm too young and cute to die! And funerals are too expensive! Aieee!!
-Falco: Foxy, I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep my promise that nothing bad will happen to you anymore...
-Foxy: Falco...so, does that mean it's the end? Is it...really over now?
-Luigi: No, it's not! Not with us around!
Luigi, Samus, Link and Zelda had appeared in the auditorium, thanks to Zelda's oddly-titled warp song. Mario was overjoyed at this turn of events.
-Mario: Luigi! Finally!
-Luigi: Mario, I understand the situation. This man, he's our new enemy?
-Mario: Yes, and he's fierce!
-Luigi: He's gone far enough as it is. We'll show him! Are you ready to kick his butt, Mario?!
-Mario: Ah....uhm...uh, yes, sure, yes.
-Luigi: Right, here we go!
They pointed their transmitters to the sky and yelled out the phrase that would allow them to transform.
-Mario & Luigi: Revolutionary Fire Flower!! Transform us!
Those words enacted their transformation, and the mysterious N-force once again fused itself in them. Their school uniforms disappeared and where replaced by spotless white dungarees, the N-symbol appeared on their foreheads, and white wings unfolded themselves from their backs.
-Samus: Oh, they did it! Awesome! You go, Luigi!
-Rousseau: Oh, I bet you think you're really clever now. Well, see how you like this!
Several shards of concrete were flung in their direction, but with a majestic jump, they avoided the projectiles.
-Mario: Hah! You'll have to do better than that!
-Peach: But still, if he's human and we shouldn't kill him, how will we get rid of him?
-Syrup: Well, we're not sure yet but it seems as if this man Rousseau is under the influence of an S-type.
-Gannon: You could say that he's possessed.
-Mario: Great, so now what do we do?
-Gannon: It's allright, you can use the N-force to purify him. After all, exposure to it's rays rubs out any kind of S-type influence.
-Luigi: Yes, but....contact with it can also be harmful for humans. I remember that the principal told us that most normal humans can't walk away unharmed from a contact with it.
-Syrup: That's true, but it's the only thing we've got for now.
-Mario: And we've got to do -something-!
-Luigi: That's right. I suppose that the question whether the real Sekai Rousseau, that is to say, the human that he still is deep down, will survive this depends only from himself....
-Mario: Well then, here goes...
-Mario & Luigi: 64-bit....revolution! Purify this place!
And with those words, a ray of intense light shot down from the sky, right onto Rousseau, who, despite his struggles, was unable to resist it's effects.
-Rousseau: Uh...what the...?! No! Not this....guh....guwaaaahh!!
Rousseau's body then collapsed onto the floor, but a black sphere emanated from his motionless body and hovered in the room. A pair of menacing eyes appeared on this sphere and glanced around the room.
-Zelda: Oh, that's it!
-Link: That's the one, the creature that was manipulating Rousseau.
-Gannon: That's right, this is the real S-type.
-Samus: Got it! I'll deal with that bastard!
-Luigi: Sammy...? You??
-Samus: Sure! Leave it to me, Luigi! It won't even know what hit it! Disappear, evil spirit! Aku-ryuuu...Taisen! Hyaaah!!
She then leapt forward and let a rain of exorcist formula charms strike down upon the hapless creature, who soon enough gave in to this rough treatment and exploded.
-Samus: Allright, easy victory!
-Yoshi: You go, Godzilla!
-Luigi: Watch that Godzilla stuff, you....
-Peach: Mario! Luigi! You did it! You've won!
-Mario: Yes, but....what about Rousseau?
-Rousseau: Uhn....argh...what happened?
-Yoshi: It's allright, he's alive.
-Kirby: We should get him to doctor Joy...
They acted upon Kirby's advice and carried Rousseau to the infirmary. There, they received a thorough scolding from the doctor herself:
-Joy: This time you can't deny that you're responsible for getting him in such a state!
-Mario: But he was trying to kill us!
-Joy: That's no excuse! Young delinquents violently attacking innocent bystanders is an utter disgrace!
-Mario: Who are you calling a delinquent?! We never attacked anyone, he was the one who started it!
-Joy: I don't want to hear it! May woe and sorrow befall you!
-Luigi: Never mind, Mario, you might as well be talking to a brick wall...
At that moment, Rousseau, who had been placed onto a bed to rest, spoke up:
-Rousseau: Uhn...hey, would anyone care to explain what I'm doing here?
-Luigi: Mister Rousseau!
-Rousseau: What? You know my name?
-Mario: Well du-uh! You were the one who barged in on us and did an over-the-top introduction.
-Rousseau: Did I do that? How strange....but, who are you kids? And where is this place?
-Luigi: It looks as if he doesn't remember anything of the incident....
-Mario: Maybe the principal should talk to him.
A few hours later, Rousseau was fully re-habiltated again. The principal then came to speak with him for a short while before he left the building. As Rousseau walked away from the Nintendo High main gate, he still pronounced this phrase:
-Rousseau: Well, I'm really sorry for any trouble I've caused to you people. I'll try to make it up to you someday! See you!
He then disappeared into the streets of Tokyo, leaving the principal to speak these words to himself:
-Peppy: So, it has started.....he was the first one...
-Mario: Principal, did you get any info out of him?
-Peppy: Oh, you're here as well?
-Luigi: You've spoken to him, principal. What did you find out?
-Peppy: Very little, I'm afraid. He was indeed possessed by an S-type, but he seems to remember almost nothing of that. I've tried, but I could hardly get any details out of him.
-Mario: It's possible that he's hiding something...
-Peppy: No, that's very unlikely. I think he was unwillingly taken over by this S-type, perhaps he didn't even realize that he was being possessed.
-Mario: Oh well, we did win the battle, so it's okay, right?
-Peppy: Yes, you've done very well, once again. Alas, I fear that this is long from over....
-Mario: Oh, bummer....But, come to think of it, Rousseau did say something about a "colleague" of his who seems to be behind the recent destruction of archeologic sites.
-Peppy: Really? That's what I expected. This Rousseau was not the only one, there will be other enemies.
-Luigi: And will they once again be humans that are possessed by S-types?
-Peppy: Very likely so, but I still can't figure out why they're using this technique now. There must be something behind all this.....
-Mario: Well, it looks like we have a new job on our hands....
END of episode 1
Look out for episode 2: "The Greatest Gift from the Goddess of Love!"
It's time for the school voyage, and this year, the destination of Nintendo High's students is the cradle of ancient civilization, the birthplace of myths and legends, Greece! But there's more going on than just a simple school trip. An old curse, a new face and a mysterious threat await the kids from Tokyo on this voyage.
The revolution continues, in Mario's High School Days Super Turbo 2!
TO BE CONTINUED...