|Super Mario Alternate Universe Story:
Mario's High School Days
Episode 5: Romantic Cherry Blossom! The Spring Breeze Before the Storm!
After the incident at the Venom building, we've been given a whole week off. Alas, today was the last day of that week, and tomorrow, school will start anew. Oh well, at least we've finally gotten some nice weather. The sun's shining, and the cherry trees all over town are blossoming. Mario seems to have decided that now is the right time to seriously work on his "relationship" with Peach. Well, good luck to him. Although it sometimes annoys me when he rambles on about how much he loves Peach (I mean, he's a high school student now, he should concentrate on his studies instead of such futile things!), I think he's happy like this, so it's all right then, I suppose.
Scene 1: The sudden change! Is there an ancient evil among us??
(Monday morning. Mario and Luigi have arrived early at school and are talking to Yoshi and Fox in the school yard)
-Fox: Ah, it's so nice to have some sun at last!
-Yoshi: How true. If your father turns up wearing his weirdo sunglasses again, it will at least not look so desperately out of place anymore in this sunny weather, Foxy.
-Fox: Don't tease me about that! *blush* And anyway, I see no reason why he'd turn up here again. I'm quite sure that you've seen the last of him.
-James: Hey, son, you forgot your lunchbox!
-Fox: Aaaargh! Not him again! What did I ever do to deserve such irresponsible parents?!
-James: You ungrateful child! That's the last time I bother to bring you stuff you forget at home!
-Fox: I'm very glad to hear it!
-Mario:.....I didn't know the McCloud family was this strange.....
-Luigi: Hey, guys! Look over there, by the gate!
-Yoshi: Yes, we're looking. What's there to see?
-Luigi: This very pretty girl just entered the school gates! She's really beautiful but I've never seen her before. She's over there. Yoshi, do you know who that is?
-Yoshi: Isn't that Zelda?
-Luigi: Zelda?! No way! Zelda is always wearing a boys' uniform. That can't be her!
-Yoshi: But it is, I assure you. That's Zelda allright, but she looks sort of...different. She's wearing a girl's uniform instead of her usual boys' uniform for a change.
-Luigi: Yes, and she's wearing her hair down. Plus I spot some jewelry on her.....
-Mario: And if my trained eye serves me right, she's also wearing some light make-up.
-Fox: That doesn't sound like Zelda at all. I mean, Zelda is always going for the Sailor Uranus look, but what you describe here sounds more like a Sailor Neptune style thing....
-Yoshi: Well, those two aren't incompatible per se ^_~.
-Mario: Well, you know how the say that clothes make the man, or rather woman in this case.
-Yoshi: But I do think that it's a bit strange. She has never acted like that before. For as long as I've known her she's been a complete tomboy, and now this......
-Mario: Why would that be strange? Maybe she's just trying a new look, I mean, people change, don't they?
-Luigi: Well, yes, but such a sudden and radical change in just one short week is kind of odd.
-Samus: Yes, that's true!!
-Fox: Yikes! Miss Aran, you scared us!
-Mario: I wish Samus would drop the habit of popping up behind people like that. It makes me nervous....
-Yoshi: Oh well, it's not like it'll kill you or something. Anyway, what's up, Sammy?
-Samus: Don't you dare call me Sammy if you don't want my foot firmly inserted in your face!
-Yoshi: Gu...gulp.....she seems to be in a bad mood....
-Samus: There's no time to joke around. A very serious matter is actually at hand as we speak!
-Mario: Do you mean you've lost a contact lens again?
-Samus: No, it's nothing like that! Now try to take me seriously, okay?
-Mario: I'll do my best ^_^.
-Samus: Right, well, as Luigi has just pointed out, this sudden change in Zelda's habits is very worrying indeed. I have looked into the matter, and my conclusion is that this must be the work of the phantom maiden!
-Luigi: The...the what?!
-Mario: "Phantom maiden"? What are you talking about?
-Yoshi: Oh, that phantom maiden thing's just a silly story.
-Samus: Are you sure, Yoshi? You know just as well as I do that there is a ring of truth around the story of the phantom maiden.
-Mario: What story?! What phantom?! Somebody explain, I don't get it at all!
-Samus: Well, allright. It happened ten years ago. At that time, a very beautiful girl was attending Nintendo High. She was renowned for her beauty and elegance throughout the whole land. But one day, she died mysteriously on the school grounds. Nobody knows the true circumstances of her death. Some say she was killed by classmates who were jealous of her beauty and popularity, others think she committed suicide because of an unhappy love. Whatever be the cause, a ghostly figure resembling the dead girl has been spotted on the school grounds quite a few times. The appearances of the ghost are especially frequent during the cherry blossom season......
-Luigi: Aieee! Now that really is a scary story!
-Mario: Luigi, you are such a wimp! Who would fall for such a nutty tale? You're trying to tell me a ghost haunts the school grounds? That's so far-fetched nobody would believe it!
-Samus: And still, she is often seen. But then again, you two have only been here for four months, so you wouldn't know just how true the story really is. Anyway, I believe that somehow, the phantom maiden has possessed Zelda! That must explain her strange shift in behavior recently.
-Luigi: Now I'm really scared! Will you please stop talking about ghosts and possessions?! It gives me the creeps!
-Samus: Heed my warning, the evil walks among us, I tell you! But I will do whatever it takes to defeat it! I must be off now. Don't forget: beware the phantom maiden!
(Samus walks off, with a creepy laugh)
-Luigi: Oh no....what am I going to do now? What if the ghost attacks me? We're all doomed!
-Mario: There, I knew it. Stupid Luigi actually bought that dumb story and is scared stiff now.
-Yoshi: What a dope! You know how Samus likes to make a big show out of everything, don't you? She's probably just trying to attract attention. I say there's nothing weird about Zelda's new look.
-Fox: But I wonder what Saria will say when she notices Zelda's....."new look". I bet she won't be pleased about it. Now that Zelda has actually started making use of her feminine charm, she might stand a better chance at getting Link than Saria.
-Mario: I see. But wasn't Saria head-over-heels crazy for Mr. Hare?
-Luigi: It's not just Mr. Hare, she flips out over just about every other guy over 30 she lays eyes on.....
-Yoshi: Oh, that's probably just a phase she was going through. I expect this whole older men thing of hers to blow over soon enough.
(Just as Yoshi was pronouncing this phrase, Mr. Hare walked through the school gates, with Saria next to him. Saria was carrying his briefcase, and was busily talking to him. These are the few words they could catch up from her monologue:)
-Saria: Oh but it's really no problem for me to carry your briefcase, I'd gladly do it every day! And it's a really nice briefcase, too! It goes so well with your outfit! Oh, by the way, allow me to state how well-dressed you are today. The color of your suit is just perfect, it brings out your deep, sensual eyes so well. Now, should I go fetch you some nice, hot coffee? Or perhaps you'd prefer tea? Green or brown tea? Oh, but it's no trouble at all, honestly, and bla bla bla bla bla.........
-Yoshi: Then again, I might have been wrong......
-Mario: Man, when Saria sets her mind on something, she really goes for it.
-Luigi: All of this doesn't very much make matters more easy for me. I mean, we have to battle street gangs to save a kidnapped principal, now we've got to deal with ghosts....this whole place is nuts!
-Yoshi: Look, this whole ghost thing is very probably not for real as it is, so stop worrying about it already.
-Luigi: Well, somehow I'm still not too comfortable about it.....
-Mario: Luigi, you worry too much.
(At that moment, Slippy walked through he school gates, loudly blowing his nose on a handkerchief)
-Fox: Oh, did you catch a cold?
-Yoshi: Yeah, right, in this weather? My guess is that he's slobbering because thugs nicked his lunch money again.
-Slippy: No, thadds nod id add all! I juss godd a major allurgy vor cherry blozzomz.
-Fox: Oh, that must be inconvenient.
-Slippy: You bedd. Evvery year, during the cherry blozzom zeazon, I ged running nozes, zwollen eyes and dizzy zpellz. Idz a righd bain in de bum, I dell you.
-Yoshi: Yes, and your nose is so stuffed with snot that we can hardly understand a word you're saying. Now leave before you sneeze on us or something.
-Slippy: You're zzo mean! Why doezz diz alwayz habben do me? Id's nod vair!
-Fox: Poor Slippy, to be so violently allergic for cherry blossoms in a city with so many cherry trees.
-Yoshi: Guess the poor kid really doesn't have any luck.
-Mario: By the way, did any of you guys see Peach? Classes will start in just a few minutes and she's not here yet.
-Yoshi: Hmmm, well, it's not like her to be late for school.
-Mario: Oh no, what if something happened to her?! If that bastard Bowser kidnapped her again, why I'll....I'll.....
-Yoshi: Keep your dungarees on, Mario, it's probably nothing serious. Besides, I think Bowser has grown out of his kidnapping phase ever since this Malon girl showed up. You're being paranoid, Mario.
-Mario:.....Well, I don't know....
-Yoshi: Come on, lots of people stay at home for the odd day or two when they're not feeling very well or something, that's nothing to worry about. Maybe she's just having her period or something.
-Fox: That reminds me, Falco hasn't shown up yet either....
-Yoshi: But then again, that weirdo hardly ever shows up on time for classes. (Yoshi does a grossly exaggerated imitation of Falco's voice:) "I don't take orders from anyone, got that?!"
-Mario: Well, anyway, I'll have to call on Peach later today to see if she's allright.
-Luigi: Yes, you do that, but right now we need to head off to class.
(As the students walk off to their classrooms, the cherry blossoms continue to gently drift on the warm spring air....)
Scene 2: A transfer! New orders for the Rocket detectives!
(Alas, not everyone in the city can spare a moment to admire the elegantly fluttering blossoms. At the city police headquarters, the chief of police, Commissioner Nyath found that there was no time for daydreaming. Taking a short break from the stashes of paperwork and the many ringing phones, he snarled angrily into an intercom)
-Nyath: Detectives Kojiro and Musashi! In my office, on the double!
(No sooner had he spoken this phrase that the door to his office was swung open and the two requested detectives appeared in the doorway, and proceeded to say these words:)
-Kojiro: To defend our fair city from crime and chaos!
-Musashi: To protect our fellow citizens and keep everyone smiling!
-Kojiro: We selflessly risk our safety....
-Kojiro:....and our sanity.....
-Kojiro & Musashi: We are.....the Team Rocket detectives! At your service!
-Nyath: Enough with the naff intro speech already! I've had the misfortune of working with you two nutters for three years, so I bloody well know who you two are by now! Now listen up!
-Kojiro & Musashi: Yessir!
-Nyath: Allright, now, what do you know about the Venom building incident?
-Musashi: Oh, that was one week ago. From what I've heard, there were reports of some kind of gang war going on at the Venom building, right?
-Nyath: Well, that's sort of it. We had sent some men to investigate, but all they found was a completely deserted Venom building.....
-Kojiro: Completely deserted, you say? How odd. The Venom building is one of this town's largest residential facilities, it houses several hundreds of people. How could it be totally abandoned so suddenly?
-Nyath: Well, we're not sure. None of the former residents have yet been found, in fact, there's absolutely no trace at all of anyone who used to live there anymore. It's like all these people vanished into thin air. Also, several floors of the building were badly damaged.
-Musashi: Well, I admit that it's odd, but why do you want us to investigate that? Do we look like a Mulder and Scully to you?
-Kojiro: Hah, we're much more classy than those two clueless dorks! Let's see you do an intro speech to match ours, Duchovny! Wa ha ha ha ha! Nobody can even dream to reach our level of ultra-coolness!
-Nyath: I was just getting to that. I thought you might be interested to know that the Star Wolf gang was spotted at the Venom building just before all the residents vanished.
-Musashi: Star Wolf! So they're involved in this?!
-Nyath: We don't know that for sure, but it's probable that they know something. Now, rumors pretend that the leader of Star Wolf has some unfinished business to take care of at the Nintendo High educational facility. It's very well possible that Nintendo High is were Star Wolf will strike next!
-Kojiro: Now this is interesting. Ever since we joined the police force, I have sworn to catch that hoodlum Wolf, but for three long years he has outsmarted us. But now, we will be one step ahead of him, as we know where he will make his next appearance: Nintendo High! We'll be there for sure! This is our big chance to finally arrest Wolf!
-Nyath: Well, it's good to see you properly motivated. Now, here's the plan: you two will be working undercover. You will pose as two transfer students attending Nintendo High. As soon as Wolf shows up, you catch him and bring him back to me so that he can be questioned about the Venom building matter. Is that understood?
-Musashi: Yessir! Top-class detectives Musashi and Kojiro are on the case! We won't fail you!
-Nyath: Downstairs, you'll find a suitcase containing two Nintendo High school uniforms, plus some extras that might come in handy for your mission. Go now, and good luck.
-Kojiro & Musashi: Yes! The magnificent Team Rocket detectives are ready for action! Let's go!
(As the two detectives leave the office, chief Nyath grins slyly)
-Nyath: They're psyched up all right. I'm sure that this time, they'll manage to catch that annoying Star Wolf!
(Just then, the door to Nyath's office was flung open again, and Kojiro rushed back in, grinning stupidly)
-Kojiro: I'm sorry, I do apologies, but we forgot to ask you where this Nintendo High is and how we get there.
-Nyath: Then again, I could be wrong......
=NOTE: Are you at a loss as to who Nyath, Kojiro and Musashi are? Well, you probably know them as Meowth, James and Jessie respectively from Pokémon. Speaking for myself, I nearly puked my guts out when I heard those horrible US names for the Pokémon characters (I mean, "Jigglypuff?" "Squirtle??" "Ash Ketchum???" YUCK!!!! What was Nintendo thinking of?!), but if Nintendo wants to do something as distasteful and pointless as renaming characters, then that doesn't mean I have to. So there, I firmly refuse to use those disgusting US Pokémon names, not now or ever! So, if more Pokémon characters pop up in this story, I'll use their original, real, Japanese names. That's the way it should be done. I will of course provide liner notes explaining who's who for those who don't know the Pokémon's true names, so there's no need to worry.=
(After collecting the suitcase containing all the things they'll need for their new mission, the Team Rocket detectives make their way to Nintendo High. On the way there, Kojiro ponders the risks their mission might hold)
-Kojiro: Ummm....Musashi...aren't you kinda worried?
-Musashi: I'm much to steamed to be worried! Just think: we might finally catch Star Wolf! That would be the achievement of a lifetime! And anyway, what reason is there to worry?
-Kojiro: Well, I'm just afraid that we might look a bit silly wearing school uniforms.
-Musashi: I don't see why I'd look silly. I still look young and healthy enough to wear school uniforms. Of course, it's a different matter when you're concerned, Kojiro, as you look just dreadful in anything!
-Kojiro: That's not true! I'm the best-dressed man this side of reality! I just hope that they managed to get an extra-large uniform for you, so that it will fit your fat bum!
-Musashi: Fat bum?! How dare you talk like that to jour sister?! Why you twerpy little ego-tripper, I ought to....
(And so, the valiant detectives' new mission begins with a bit of a bumpy start....)
Scene 3: Nearing the breakpoint! How long will our peace and quiet last?
(The next day, during lunch break, Mario goes to find Peach and see if she's feeling better. He finds her, having lunch with some friends in the school yard)
-Mario: There you are, Peach. Are you feeling allright today? I was kinda worried when I saw you couldn't come to school yesterday....
-Peach: I'm sorry to have worried you, but I'm allright now. I just have a slight allergy for cherry blossoms. But the doctor came over and thanks to his treatment, I'm just fine now.
-Mario: I see, well, if you start to feel ill again, please don't hesitate to call me and Luigi, okay?
-Peach: That's very nice of you, but there really is no need to trouble yourselves about me that much....
-Mario: It's no problemo, honestly! I've got to go now, but I'll see you later. Bye!
(As Mario darts off, Peach thinks things over and puts her thoughts into words like this:)
-Peach: Gosh, Mario is always so nice to me.....I hope he'll continue to be my friend.
-Saria: You can bet he will. And if you play your cards right, he might even become your personal slave or something!
-Peach: Saria, you where here all the time?
-Saria: Oh, I was just passing and happened to overhear a bit of your conversation, so to say......
-Peach: A likely story....you were spying on us again, weren't you?
-Saria: Well, you're going to need someone to give you some pointers, won't you?
-Peach: Pointers? I don't get it, what are you talking about?
-Saria: Don't you worry about a thing, I'm a woman of the world, I know exactly what to do in situations like this. Yup, you can count on me.
-Peach: What situation? Saria, I don't understand what you are talking about.
-Saria: Yeah right. Stop playing innocent already, everything's crystal clear! You've got this Mario practically eating out of your hand! Now, I didn't figure you'd like them short and fat, but if that's what you want......
-Peach: What? It's nothing like that! *blush* There's nothing between me and Mario! Stop jumping to conclusions!
-Saria: But can't you tell that Mario's totally nuts about you? Come on, I know you're a little dense, but it's impossible not to notice something this obvious!
-Peach: Oh, so now I'm dense?! Look, I don't want to hear another thing about it!
-Saria: Oh, all right, don't go hysterical now. I should be going as it is, but think about it, this Mario would walk through fire for you, I'm sure of that. That's got to be worth something, right?
-Peach: Oh dear....so Mario's in love with me? What should I do now??
(While Peach is left a little less clueless, but a little more confused than before, Mario and Luigi are in the cantine having lunch with their friends)
-Mario: There, I've just been checking on Peach, and she's allright. It was just an allergy yesterday.
-Luigi: Yes, well, great. You're not Peach's nanny, you know.
-Mario: And just what's that supposed to mean?
-Luigi: Just that it might not be a great idea to keep buzzing around her like that. She might get the wrong idea if you keep doing that.
-Mario: You can't hold that against me. It's only normal that one would want to be sure that his loved ones are safe and happy!
-Luigi: Yes, but does Peach view you as a "loved one"? You're not yet officially her boyfriend, you know.
-Yoshi: I never thought I'd say this, but Luigi is making a lot of sense here.
-Mario: And now Yoshi turns against me as well! You jerks sure are a big help!
-Luigi: Don't get cranky, we're just saying that you shouldn't overdo it.
-Mario:....whatever. By the way, guys, don't look now, but Zelda's coming to our table.
-Luigi: Eeeek! But Zelda's possessed by the ghost! Keep her away from me!
-Mario: Luigi still hasn't figured out that that ghost story was all phony.......
-Zelda: Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but could I please speak to Yoshi?
-Yoshi: Sure thing. What's on your mind?
-Luigi: Oh no, Yoshi will be the ghost's first victim! How horrible! Do something, Mario!
-Mario: Will you stop freaking out?
-Zelda: Well, I would like to ask you, Yoshi, if I could perhaps come to the cooking club this afternoon, if that's no trouble for you.
-Yoshi: No, that's allright. But remember, if you actually want to join the club, you'll have to pass a very strict entry exam!
-Luigi: Yoshi, you're not going to do that "buy me lunch to join the club" routine again?!
-Yoshi: Just why shouldn't I?
-Luigi: You sure have an evil and twisted mind.....
-Zelda: Well, thank you very much, Yoshi. I apologize for any inconvenience I might have caused. I'll see you this afternoon then. Goodbye.
(As Zelda walks off, Samus pops up behind Yoshi and begins to speak:)
-Samus: This is bad....it looks like the phantom maiden will soon strike!
-Yoshi: You know, somehow you're more disturbing than the ghost, Sammy.
-Samus: I told you not to call me Sammy! Anyway, Yoshi seems to be the ghost's target, though I honestly don't see why anyone would choose that weirdo as a victim.....
-Yoshi: Hey, I'm as good a victim as anyone!
-Samus: Well, whatever. What we need to do is to place a trap for the phantom maiden. With Yoshi as a decoy, we'll lure her into a secured area, and there, I will exorcize the evil spirit!
-Yoshi: Now just a minute! I refuse to be part of such a dumb plot to catch a ghost that doesn't even exist! Go find someone else to play devil hunter with!
-Samus: I'm not playing, this is very serious I tell you!
-Yoshi: Well, I don't care! I don't want to be involved in this, no matter what you say!
-Samus:....It looks like I'll have to resort to some more drastic means.....Yoshi, if I buy you snacks, will you do it?
-Yoshi: You've got yourself a deal, Sammy!
-Mario: Throw in some food, and Yoshi's attitude immediately changes....
-Luigi: I'll be glad once this crazy ghost thing's over....
-Samus: Luigi, as a fellow member of the space club, it's your duty to help us catch the evil spirit!
-Luigi: Noooo! I don't want to! I'm scared!
-Mario: No wonder the space club doesn't have many members, considering that being part of the space club means having to help out the wacko president with her silly plots....
-Samus: All members of the space club are to assist me, so that includes that airhead McCloud as well. Where is he now? He's never around when you need him.
-Mario: I suppose he went to see Falco. You might find him at the gym.
(Indeed, Fox had come to see Falco at the school gym, where he had found his friend busily doing all manner of excersises. He was now energetically doing push-ups)
-Fox: Falco, you're pushing yourself too hard! You should take a break. And by the way, you didn't do 817 push-ups, just 75 in fact.
-Falco: Shut up! You mind your own business!
-Fox: But I worry about you. Every day, I find you in here, slaving like a lunatic. It can't be good for you to wear yourself out like that.
-Falco: I don't care! Soon, that Star Wolf will come back. After all, he said that he wanted a re-match with the coach. And once he comes back here, I'll be ready for him. I'll crush him into the dust if it's the last thing I do!
-Fox: Are you still angry about what happened at the Venom building? Is that why you're doing this?
-Falco: Yes! That punk may think he defeated me back there, but I don't know the meaning of the word "defeat"!
(Upon hearing this, Fox starts to flip through a dictionary)
-Fox: Here it is! "Defeat: the opposite of victory".
-Falco: Hrmph! Thank you so much for reminding me! You're a big help, you wisecracker!
-Fox: All right, I'm sorry. I know this is important to you, but I'm just worried that all this "training"might be too much for you.....
-Falco: You wouldn't understand. This is a question of pride. That guy beat me up in front of everyone, and one of his henchmen wounded my face! I can never forgive him that. I won't rest until I have squeezed the very last drop of blood from his sorry hide! Prepare yourself, Star Wolf! This is far from being over! Soon, you will live your worst nightmare! Aaaaah ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!
-Fox: ....I suppose it's no use to try reasoning with him....not when he's in a state like this....*sweatdrop*
(From a distance, top-class detective Kojiro, disguised as a Nintendo High student had been spying on them)
-Kojiro: I didn't catch their entire conversation, but I'm pretty sure that I heard them mentioning Star Wolf a few times. Most interesting.....I'll have to question them about that later on.....
-Fox: Well, I guess I can't talk you out of this, Falco. But please be careful, okay?
-Falco: I don't need advice from you! Stay out of this!
-Fox *sigh*....I might as well be talking to a brick wall....
-Falco: 819.....820.....*huff, pant*.....821......Zzzzzzzzzz
-Fox: Huh? Falco, what's the matter? What are you doing??
-Fox: Oh dear, he fell asleep. I guess all that training did wear him out after all, but of course, you're much to stubborn to ever admit that, aren't you, Falco?
-Fox: *smile*....you idiot......
(While this was going on, the teachers of Nintendo High were having a bit of an improvised emergency meeting. There was an air of alarm and tension in their boardroom as the principal opened the meeting with these words:)
-Peppy: Well, I suppose you have all noticed that unusual phenomena have been occurring quite a lot lately. Last week's incident at the Venom building stands out as a prime example.
-Gannon: Yes. The suspicions we harbored against that Andross character turned out to be all too true.
-Peppy: Indeed. And it's far from being over. In fact, it's just beginning. I'm afraid that Andross was just the first in a long series of threats and that our enemies are preparing to enact their big scenario very soon.
-Syrup: But, Mr. Hare! It's still much too early! This wasn't supposed to happen for several months, maybe even years! Can you be sure?
-Peppy: Yes, absolutely. The big day will arrive very soon. The time left for us has been greatly reduced. As of now, it's our top priority to prepare our students for their ultimate challenge!
-Gannon: I see. But are you sure that there still is enough time to fully prepare them? Last time, seven years ago, the students had had at least a full year of special training, and even so, they only barely succeeded.....
-Peppy: Yes, that's true. This time, we'll have to give them a much more rapid and intense training.
-Syrup: But, that might be risky! To expose such young people to something like that so suddenly could seriously affect their well-being.....
-Peppy: I'm well aware of that. I would have preferred to do this more gradually, but there just isn't enough time left. We have no choice, this is the only way to prevent a terrible disaster from happening. We will introduce the special training first thing tomorrow.
-Gannon & Syrup: Understood.
-Peppy: And don't worry about this too much, you two. Even though we'll have to rush things a bit, I trust that our students will come throuh very well. They're a determined and energetic bunch, and some of them are already showing some great potential. I believe that this matter will turn out allright after all.
-Gannon: You had better be right, considering that there is so much at stake here.....
-Peppy: I know that very well. And remember to stay alert. Our enemies may be planning another assault on us very soon.
-Syrup: Yes, the very ground underneath our feet may soon become too hot to stand on....
-Peppy: Now, don't be so gloomy. We'll find a solution somehow.....I hope.....
Scene 4: Appearance of the evil spirit! The loneliness of the phantom maiden.....
(That afternoon, the "ghost hunters" were all gathered at the cooking club's clubhouse where they were putting the final touches to their ghost trap. The members of the cooking club were worriedly observing these preparations. Peach and Saria had also joined them, eager to help out with the ghost-catching).
-Kirby: I still don't really understand why president Yoshi agreed to go along with this ghost thing.....
-Yoshi: Because I'm getting a month's supply of Pokémon fruit jellies for this! And for Pokémon fruit jellies, I'd even jump into the crater of Mount Fuji!
-Kirby: Oh, you are so right, those jellies are so delicious! And they come with neato free cards!
-Yoshi & Kirby: Aaaaah, life is good ^_^.
-Mario: What I don't get is why Saria would want to help out with a ghost hunt. It makes no sense, I figured such a cold, cynical girl as Saria would be the last person to believe in ghosts.....
-Saria: I know very well that there's no such thing as ghosts, but this looks like a great opportunity to make Zelda look like an idiot! That'll teach her to bad-mouth my songs! Nya ha ha ha!
-Mario: Personal profit is all you're after, huh?
-Peach: I'm sorry if we're in your way......
-Mario: No, no, that's all right, you stay as long as you like, Peach! You'll always be welcome at the cooking club's clubhouse!
-Luigi: There he goes, overdoing it again.....
-Kirby: Well, it's no use trying to pound some sense into your brother, I guess. What exactly do you want us to do when the ghost comes?
-Samus: Nothing special, just go about your usual business and don't act suspicious.
-Yoshi: Easy for you to say, but I don't like it one bit. You assure me that you won't destroy our whole clubhouse with this nonsense?
-Samus: Promised. Now be quiet, I need to trace a pentagram on the doorstep.
-Yoshi: Eh? What good will that do?
-Samus: Well, that way the ghost won't be able to leave this room once she has entered. She'll be trapped!
-Yoshi: And you're sure that it works?
-Samus: Well, I'm using a very expensive lipstick to draw this pentagram, so it had better work!
-Yoshi: She's using lipstick to trap a spirit? Somehow, I get the feeling that this'll never work......
-Samus: Don't worry, I know what I'm doing! I am extremely well documented in this matter, I did loads of research!
-Toad: Did you? You found sources of information about the occult?
-Samus: Yeah, I read all of Tokyo Babylon!
-Yoshi: I don't believe it! She reads one silly manga and she thinks she's a professional exorcist!
-Samus: Tokyo Babylon is not just some silly manga, it's a gripping tale of occult battle and tragic love! You just don't know how to appreciate modern art!
-Toad: And I bet she thinks Mamono Hunter Yohko is a documentary......
-Yoshi: Look, Sammy, aren't you finished with that pentagram yet? Zelda'll be here any minute!
-Samus: First, don't call me Sammy, second, if you want me to do this quickly, stop disturbing me with dumb remarks. And finally, don't blame me for this. Our preparations would have been finished much sooner if that idiot McCloud had been here. I specifically told him to be here as soon as possible, but do you think he shows up on time? No! Typical! That boy is always late when something important to me is going on.
(Just then, the door to the clubhouse was swung open and Fox came in, dragging a sleeping Falco along with him)
-Samus: Foxy, we were just talking about you! I hope you can explain this. And just why are you dragging that megasnob around with you?
-Saria: I think Fox killed Falco and is trying to hide the body. That must be it!
-Fox: Saria, you always jump to wild conclusions. He's not dead, he's just sleeping.
-Saria: Oh, well, in that case, I suggest you hit him harder next time you try to kill him.
-Fox: I didn't try to kill anyone! Honestly, where do you get your ideas from?!
-Saria: Well, allright then, tell us what's going on.
-Fox: Well, he fell asleep in the gym. Now, I couldn't leave him there, so I just...well.....I thought I'd take him someplace else....
-Saria: And you didn't think of waking him up first?
-Fox: He sleeps like a Kabigon, you know. And besides, he's been wearing himself out so much lately, he needs rest.
-Saria: Yes, apart from that, I suppose he probably is in an even more horrid mood than usual if you wake him up.
=NOTE: Kabigon is known as "Snorlax" in the US. Right, where's my airsick bag, then?=
-Fox: Well, is it allright if I leave him here for now?
-Yoshi: Yeah, fine with me. You can leave him over there, by the window. He should be allright there.
-Fox: Thanks, Yoshi.
-Samus: Well, we have no time to worry about that. All the preparations are finished, now we must all hide until the ghost comes!
-Kirby: All of us?
-Samus: No, not you! The members of the cooking club don't need to hide, just the ones who came to catch the ghost. Once Zelda is here, we'll leap out and attack as soon as she does something suspicious. Understood, everyone?!
-Luigi: Miss Aran, please reconsider! The space club is here to build spacecraft and study the stars, not go chase after spectres! After all, you're a woman of science, you can't degrade yourself to running wild over such fairy tales!
-Toad: I think he has a point there....
-Samus: Shut up! Why are you always trying to ruin my fun?!
-Toad: Her "fun"?? What is she thinking of?
-Fox: It's no use, we can't talk her out of it. Let's just play along.
(Suddenly, there's a knock at the door)
-Luigi: Eeeek! It's the ghost! Mommy!
-Samus: Everyone to your places, quickly!
(The ghost hunters quickly hide, and Yoshi goes to answer the door. It is indeed Zelda who enters the clubhouse speaking these words:)
-Zelda: Good afternoon, and thank you again, Yoshi. I'm truly grateful that you allowed me to visit here. I hope I won't be in anyone's way.
-Yoshi: Uh, that's allright, don't worry about it ^_^.
(After Yoshi has closed the door again, Zelda suddenly turns around and stares at him with a sly, evil look. As she speaks, her voice suddenly sounds deep and raspy, not at all like a human voice)
-Zelda: Ha ha ha ha ha! Idiot! Finally, after all these years, the time has come to make you pay for all the suffering you have cause me!
-Yoshi: Huh? Uh oh, this is weird. Hey, she's doing something suspicious!
-Zelda: You are responsible for my entire tragedy! Now it's time to get even! I'll make you regret what you did to me!
-Yoshi: But I never did anything to you! I don't even know you! This is a misunderstanding, I tell you!
-Zelda: I'm not falling for that! I know very well that you are to blame for all my pain and sadness, and I must get my revenge before I can rest!
(But then, Samus cuts into Zelda's sentence)
-Samus: You will do no such thing!
-Zelda: What? You dare to interfere with me?!
-Samus: Evil spirit from beyond, demon that has returned to haunt our world, your malevolent tricks have gone far enough! As of now, I will rid this school of your evil influence!
-Zelda: Oh, what a pretentious girl you are. Do you really think you can oppose me? Well, we'll soon see if you're not just all mouth and no trousers!
(And with those words, Zelda opened he mouth wide and spat out a ball of blue fire in Samus' direction)
-Yoshi: Sammy, don't just stand there! That fireball is heading right for you! Duck!
(But instead, Samus took out her lipstick and quickly traced a pentagram in the air before her. Amazingly, her lipstick actually left a shimmering pink trail in the air, which formed a pentagram floating in front of Samus. The blue fireball simply bounced off the hovering pink pentagram and disappeared)
-Peach: Amazing! How did she do that?
-Toad: Maybe there was something to this whole Tokyo Babylon thing of hers after all?
-Zelda: So you can do some fancy tricks. Well, big deal. It'll take more than some toy like that to beat the spirits! But since you so badly want to play, we'll play! Take this!
(Zelda then dashed towards Samus at full speed! But Samus didn't move a muscle, instead she slowly chanted the following formula)
-Samus: "Rin, poh, toh, sha, kai, jin, retsu, zai, zen......"
-Zelda: Die, idiot!!
-Samus: "Akuryou Taisan!" Retreat, evil spirit!
(And with that, Samus produced a slip of paper with an anti-evil formula inscribed on it and quickly slapped it onto Zelda's forehead. Zelda fell to the ground, grasping her forehead and screaming as blue smoke curled up all around her)
-Zelda: Gu....guwaaaaa! What have you done?! I...can't move!
-Samus: And now for the finishing blow!
(Samus then took out a finely crafted hamaya arrow and pointed it at the possessed Zelda who was still writhing in pain on the floor)
-Toad: Oh, that's a hamaya!
-Kirby: A spiritual arrow, right? That should do the trick all right.
-Peach: I don't understand where Samus got all these exorcist tools from....
-Yoshi: Maybe she raided a temple......
-Samus: You're toast, wretched spirit! Now take this!
-Zelda: No, don't do that! Don't!!
(Ignoring the possessed Zelda's plea for mercy, Samus struck her with the hamaya. Blue lightning crackled all round as Zelda collapsed on the ground.)
(In the blue smoke that was still emanating from Zelda's motionless body, the faint image of a beautiful girl appeared)
-Luigi: Oh, there's an image of a girl in the smoke....
-Samus: Seems like that is the ghost's true appearance.
-Kirby: What? So it's not defeated yet?!
-Luigi: Eeeeek! Scary!
(But, to everyone's surprise the ghost then spoke, in a soft, calm voice)
-The ghost: Please don't be alarmed. I admit my defeat and realize the error of my ways. The body and soul of the young girl named Zelda are freed now. I'm deeply sorry for all those who have been troubled by me. My actions were very wrong, but I didn't know what I was doing.....
-Saria: How do we know that this isn't a trick?
-Peach: Well, she seems sincere to me....
-Samus: Now that you have been beaten, will you stop hunting the school and go to the great beyond like you're supposed to?
-The ghost: If only I could! Alas, I am doomed to forever roam this world as a cursed spirit lamenting it's own sorrow.
-Samus: But why....what happened to cause this?
-The ghost: It was long go, ten years, when I was still a human being attending this very same school. At that time, the one person I had wanted to love abandoned me.....or so I thought. He had agreed to meet me under the cherry tree in the school yard after class. I waited by the tree for many hours, but he never came. I was in despair, thinking that he had forgotten me, that he hated me. In tears, I ran from the tree, not knowing, not watching where I was going. I was like in a haze, and while running, I was run over by a truck.....
-Yoshi: Eeew, nasty....
-The ghost: I refused to accept my own death, and I returned to my old school to haunt it. My first victim was that one person who had forgotten to come to me by the cherry tree on that day. I held him responsible for my untimely death and relentlessly haunted him, until he died as well. But later I found out that I had made a terrible mistake. The person I had killed was in fact not at all responsible for my death. In fact, on that day, he did have the intention to come to the cherry tree and see me. But as he was on his way to see me, he was drawn to the clubhouse of the cooking club by the smell of fresh biscuits. He had a major sweet tooth, and couldn't resist the temptation to try some of the biscuits, but the biscuits were actually bad and seriously upset his stomach. He had been too sick to come and see me, even though he had wanted to. Because of my too hasty judgment, I had killed the one who had still loved me, and thus had condemned myself to forever writhe in my own sadness. I had sealed my own fate, there was no turning back.
-Peach: How sad.....
-Yoshi: I think I see now why you wanted to attack me. But I swear that it was not me who had made your boyfriend ill, honestly!
-Mario: That's right, Yoshi has only been at this school for four years. Your story happened ten years ago, so it couldn't have been him.
-Kirby: And besides, Yoshi never messes up biscuits!
-Yoshi: Thank you, everyone. But, if it will make you feel better, ghost girl, you can take out some of your anger on me. I can handle it.
-The ghost: *crying* No, I don't want to harm anyone anymore! It was because of my hasty assumptions that my loved one had been killed and that had just made things worse! I thought that, by getting even with people from the cooking club, I might finally find some peace for my soul, but I realized that I was being an idiot. I was making the same mistake again. I was about to harm innocent people again, for my own false hope of redemption. I deserve no better than to haunt the school halls as a doomed soul for all eternity.....
-Peach: I see. Although we sometimes think that a violent revenge will make us feel better, in the end, fighting among each other can only cause more sorrow.
(While this sad scene was going on, Kojiro was stumbling through the school grounds, tired and hungry....)
-Kojiro: This sucks....where is the bloody exit?! This school's so large, I got lost. And I have been looking for the goddam exit for ages! I don't even know where I am now. Looks like some kind of clubhouse area....
(Kojiro then noticed that lights were burning inside one clubhouse: the cooking club's clubhouse!)
-Kojiro: Oh, someone is in there. Maybe they can tell me where the exit is....
(As the students gathered in the cooking club where grieving over the sad fate of the ghost girl, Kojiro burst in, gasping)
-Kojiro: The....exit...somebody please...take me to the exit....
-Peach: Who is that?
-Yoshi: And what does he think he's doing, barging in here like that?!
-Luigi: It looks to me like he's drunk or something.
-Kojiro: No, I'm just lost. I can't find the exit.
-The ghost: Excuse me, if you don't mind, I will gladly take you to the exit.
-Samus: What? But why, ghost girl?
-The ghost: Well, it's just that this boy reminds me a lot of my "boyfriend". The resemblance is truly striking!
-Saria: She had a crush on such a weird-looking boy? Hard to imagine......
-Yoshi: Not as hard to imagine as your obsession with our principal.....
-Saria: That's different! You don't understand how I feel!
-The ghost: If I help out someone who reminds me of my loved one, I might find a shred of happiness. Maybe, just maybe one small shard of happiness will do to break me free from my sorrowful errands.....
-Samus: It's worth a try, I guess. You go, girl!
-Mario: Let's all go with them!
(As the group of students made their way to the exit, the ghost girl was holding Kojiro's hand)
-The ghost: You look so tired. Has anything happened to you?
-Kojiro: No, I'm allright.
-The ghost: Here we are, this is the exit.
-Kojiro: Thanks. It was really nice of you to take me here.
-The ghost: What? Really? You mean it?
-Kojiro: Well, yes. I first though that you looked a little strange, but you're a very nice girl after all.
-The ghost: Oh, thank you! Thank you so much! For the first time in so many years I am hearing kind words from someone! So even after all that I've done, people can still appreciate me. Not everyone hates me. I'm so happy now. I don't need to worry anymore. I think now, I can leave this place and finally rest peacefully. But please promise me one thing.
-Kojiro: Um, well, I don't really understand what you're talking about, but okay, I'll promise you one thing....
-The ghost: Please promise me that you will not forget about me. Please remember me.
-Kojiro: Oh sure, that's easy. I can do that!
-The ghost: Thank you. I can finally go now. Goodbye everyone, and thank you. Thank you all so very much!
(And with those words, the ghost girl dissolved into a shower of soft cherry blossom petals, gently dancing in the evening wind....)
-Samus: So, the ghost finally found peace.
-Peach: I think she was really happy for a moment.
-Mario: Well, I guess we owe it to this weirdo guy who got lost.
-Yoshi: Yeah, that's right! Hey, whoever you are, you were mighty cool back there, to say such a nice thing to a ghost, and even sincerely mean it....I don't know if I could have done that.
-Kojiro: Huh? Did I do that? Was there a ghost?
-Fox: Looks like he didn't even know that he was dealing with a ghost.
-Peach: Well, maybe it's better not to tell him.
-Saria: Yes, the poor guy looks dense enough as it is, so I guess ignorance would be bliss in this case.
(Suddenly, a loud scream was heard behind them, and Zelda came running towards the exit)
-Zelda: What is the meaning of this?! Who put me in this stupid dress?! This is horrible, what if Link sees me wearing such an ugly, girly outfit?! Oh no, this is so embarrassing! I've got to get out of here before anyone else sees me with these yucky clothes on!
-Fox: How nice that everything is back to normal again ^_^.
-Luigi: You call that normal?
-Mario: Well, not exactly, but you know what he means....
-Luigi: Yes, I suppose so....
END OF EPISODE 5
Preview of the next episode:
Once again, the menacing silhouette of Star Wolf appears before the students of Nintendo High! He came to get his rematch
with the coach, but instead he might meet his match, as Falco is utterly determined to get even for last time! As the battle
between them breaks loose, a mysterious new kind of class is introduced whose purpose it is to teach the students "aura
amplification". What could the meaning of that be? Something strange is definitely going on at Nintendo High.....it's the next
episode: the second clash!
Nintendo High's explain-it-all corner, featuring Malon and Bowser!
-Malon: Hello, it's me, Malon, and my sweetheart Bowser is here too!
-Malon: We didn't get to appear in this episode, but as a pay-off, we'll be hosting the bonus segment!
-Bowser: Oh, how could I have sunk so low.....
-Malon: Don't feel bad about it, my love, this is a very helpful and informative bonus segment, as we're going to explain everything about the exorcist techniques that Samus used against the ghost. Most of the spells she used come form Shintoist religion, such as that cool chant.
-Bowser: Oh yeah, that. Well, I sent my seven flunkies to do some extensive research about it, but they couldn't come up with an English translation of the chant. It's partly the writer's fault, who keeps insisting on stuffing the story with references to anime and Japanese culture, despite a near-zero knowledge of Japanese language! I mean, what's the big deal anyway?! What's wrong with this writer?! Leaving us out for a whole episode, how disrespectful!
-Malon: That doesn't matter. Samus probably focused more on the dramatic effect as it is. Now, you'll remember that Samus, in a moment so full of suspense and tension it could make Rei Ayanami blink, slapped a piece of paper with a demon-repelling formula on the ghost's forehead. That actually a spell as well. You see, that slip of paper is a spiritual charm which scares demons. These scrolls or charms are quite common anti-devil items for Shintoist practicers. The magic power of the charm usually causes it to adhere to the demon's forehead all by itself, and as long as it's stuck onto the demon, the demon will be immobilized and unable to use a large part of it's powers.
-Bowser: And you get to look groovy while hurling them around....*mumbling* Why do I feel like I'm doing a commercial?
-Malon: And then, there's the hamaya arrow she used to finish the ghost off. Just like the scroll piece, the hamaya is a spiritual charm of considerable power. A hamaya is different from normal arrows in a number of ways. It doesn't have a pointed end, instead it has some knob on it's front end, and usually some other small charms tied to it's rear end. It's quite powerful as a demon-repellent and contact with a hamaya is very harmful for most common evil spirits.
-Bowser: Finally, there's the pentagram symbol. That's a symbol resembling a five-pointed star. It can be drawn in just one movement. It appears in a number of different religions and superstitions, and usually symbolizes positive energy. It can be used to repel or weaken dark forces. But a reversed pentagram, one with the top branch of the "star" pointing downward has exactly the opposite function.
-Malon: Well, that was all, we hope everything is cleared up now and look forward to seeing you again in the next episode!
-Bowser: If we'll get to appear at all, that is.....
-Malon: Oh, don't be so gloomy, there still is lots of things for us to do before the series is over and we can stay happily together forever.
-Bowser: Um....yes, well, I suppose so. See you next episode, then, everyone.
-Malon: Bye bye!
Bonus Segment: END
TO BE CONTINUED...