|Super Mario Alternate Universe Story:
Mario's High School Days
Episode 4: Save Our Teacher! We Will Fight with the Energy of Youth and Freedom!
it's been three months since me and Mario transferred to Nintendo High. I think I'm starting to feel slightly at home, but the freakiness of that place still manages to regularly make me feel uncomfortable (like yesterday, when Yoshi tried to commit suicide after he had heard that there had been a fire in the cantine kitchen). Still, it looks like we won't have to worry too much about Bowser anymore. You see, shortly after the school festival, that girl Malon transferred to Nintendo High as well, and has since then been sticking to Bowser like a fly does to a cupcake, so Bowser has his hands full as it is. And maybe Malon will have a positive influence on him? Mario, by the way, seems to have adjusted himself perfectly in just three short months. I'd never tell Mario this in person, but his optimistic nature, his determination and his ability to make the best of any situation are qualities of him that I greatly admire.
(Monday morning. Bowser is on his way to class. Walking next to him is a happily smiling Malon)
-Bowser: Is that a private joke you're smirking about, or are you planning to let me in on it as well?
-Malon: Oh, I was just smiling because I'm happy to be able to go to school together with you, Bowsie. I hadn't expected it to be this easy to get approval for a transfer request to such a high-ranking school as Nintendo High, but your principal was very understanding and helpful about the whole thing. He's a nice man, remind me that we must invite him as well to our wedding.
-Malon: Yes, I've already started planning ahead for our big day. It's important to be prepared for such a big event, don't you agree, my dearest?
-Bowser: Ah....um.....*blush*...well, erm......
(Bowser had trouble finding the right words, but luckily one of his servants, Lemmy, came running down the hallway to get him out of this embarrassing situation with these words:)
-Lemmy: Lord Bowser! There's an emergency!
-Bowser: Huh? An emergency? Don't tell me they've set fire to the cantine kitchen again!
-Malon: Don't worry, my love! I'll protect you from any danger there might be!
-Lemmy: It has nothing to do with the cantine, master Bowser, it's just that there has just been an announcement that the principal is missing!
-Bowser: He is? For how long?
-Lemmy: Since yesterday afternoon! They announced it all through the school just a while ago, but you hadn't arrived yet.
-Bowser: That's because I had to sleep out my weekend hangover and couldn't be bothered to come to the morning classes.
-Lemmy: Anyway, the whole school's buzzing with stories about the principal's disappearance. I've come to you to ask on behalf of all seven Little Koopas what you want us to do in view of the current situation.
-Bowser: Well, I haven't decided what we'll do in reaction of the principal's disappearance just yet. Give me a minute.....
(While Bowser digests this news and tries to think of what would be the best thing to do for him and his servants, the other students are busily discussing the situation. Most of them are shocked and worried, especially Saria, who thus puts her feelings into words in front of her friends:)
-Saria: I think it's terrible! What could have happened to him?
-Mario: Nobody knows. All we can do is wait and see, I suppose.
-Saria: Yes.....wait a minute.....Yoshi, listen to me.
-Yoshi: What is it?...you look so serious all of a sudden.....
-Saria: Tell me honestly, Yoshi...you didn't...by any chance...eat our principal, did you?
-Yoshi: Saria! That's ridiculous! I'd never hurt principal Hare! He's given the cooking club so much support and even arranged subsidies for us!
-Luigi: Apart from that, I don't think Mr. Hare's very appetizing...
-Saria: Well, I don't know about that. I mean, he's quite good-looking for a man his age.
-Fox: Oh, I didn't know that Saria liked older men?
-Falco: You are so dense, Foxy. Those weirdo Kokiri kids don't age, so it's obvious that she has developed a complex about older men.
-Saria: Oh, shut up! You're a fine one to tell me that I have a complex, while you have the biggest narcissus-complex in the galaxy!
-Mario: Look, there's no need to start an argument over this. We have other things to worry about...
-Yoshi: And anyway, Falco is probably just saying that because he's jealous of Mr. Hare's popularity.
-Falco: Why you.....! Just why should I be jealous of such an old geezer?!
-Saria: Well, these days it's rare to find a man who is understanding, devoted, hard-working, kind and good-looking, but principal Peppy Hare has it all!
-Yoshi: And then she tells us that she has no complex about him.....
-Mario: I don't think it's a complex. More like a hopeless crush for her to praise him so much.
-Saria: I was not just praising Mr. Hare for no reason! What I said about him is perfectly true!
-Mario: Well, I can't vouch for the part about him being good-looking, but come to think of it, you have a point with all the other stuff you called him...
-Luigi: That's right. You can tell that Mr. Hare really takes his student seriously and cares a lot about our well-being.
-Fox: Yes, he is always striving hard to make things better for us...
-Saria: And he looks just so cute in formal dress!
-Sheik: Saria, I've heard that! Consider the fact that you can't compete for both Mr. Hare and Link at the same time. So, if you're going to win Mr. Hare's heart, you'll just have to leave Link to me. Not that it makes a difference, as I would've won him anyway in due time, but this way you can at least admit defeat gracefully.
-Saria: Just a minute! I never said that I'd just give up Link! And especially not to and ugly girl in drag like you! He'd never fancy a girl with dressing habits like yours!
-Sheik: Oh, you have a problem with my dress sense?! You're just jealous of my spandex' n mask combo!
-Saria: No way! Jealous of that ugly outfit?! I hate it nearly as much as I hate your habit of wearing the Nintendo High students uniform for boys instead of the girls' school uniform!
-Sheik: Don't you dare insult my school uniform! It was very hard to get hold of a spare boys' uniform!
-Yoshi: I just hope that they won't drag their stupid warp songs into this.....
-Mario: Tell me, Yoshi, does Zelda really wear a boys' uniform instead of a girl's uniform?
-Yoshi: Well, her role model is Sailor Uranus, you know.....
-Luigi: I remember that we had to wear street clothes on our first day here because they hadn't been able to supply two spare uniforms in time for both of us, and everyone was giving us funny looks.
-Mario: That was not because we weren't in uniform, they probably gave us funny looks because of your ugly face.
-Luigi: My face is nowhere near as weird-looking as your huge gut!
-Fox: Now that we're on the subject of school uniforms, why don't you ever wear the uniform, Falco?
-Falco: Because it's not classy enough! Common clothes don't do justice to my extraordinary beauty! And nobody's going to tell me what to wear!
-Saria: Right, can't you just say that you like to wear flashy outfits in order to get noticed?
-Luigi: Guys, will you stop arguing?! There are other things to think about right now!
-Saria: Oh, right, Mr. Hare!
(At that moment, Toad came running towards the group, looking very excited)
-Toad: You'll never guess what happened! The school's staff has just recieved a letter revealing Mr. Hare's whereabouts!
-Saria: What?! So they've found him? He's safe?
-Toad: Not exactly. You see, the letter was written by our ex-principal, Mr. Andross, and he claims to have kidnapped Mr. Hare!
-Falco: This had better not be some joke....
-Toad: I'm very serious! And Andross will only release Mr. Hare if he is to be re-instated as principal of our school. Once he has regained his old post as principal, I fear that he'll turn this school into a regular concentration camp.
-Fox: That could very well be. He might be especially tough on us, since we were more or less responsible for him losing his job as principal in the first place...
=NOTE: See episode two for more details on this=
-Yoshi: Gulp! Think of all the horrid thing he could do to get revenge on us! He may even refuse to give us cantine food!
-Saria: Who cares about food?! He's got Mr. Hare! I won't forgive him for that!
-Mario: And I certainly won't let him run this school again!
-Fox: Yes, but what can we do about it?
-Toad: Well, Andross lives in an apartment in a complex called the Venom building. It's highly probable that Mr. Hare is kept there.
-Saria: Right, we know where he is, now we can go and rescue him!
-Luigi: Rescue him? We're not a SWAT team!
-Saria: Never underestimate the power of a woman in love!
-Samus: Luigi! A member of the space club knows no fear and would willingly fight to protect his loved ones! Show some dignity!
-Mario: And besides, this is something worth fighting for! Mr. Hare never did anything wrong, we can't leave him to Andross' mercy like this, and we certainly can't let Andross try to rule us just like that!
-Luigi: Okay, looks like I have no choice but to go along with this nonsense....
-Fox: It's not nonsense, Luigi! We're not just doing this for Mr. Hare, we're also doing this for ourselves! I for one am determined to carry this through!
(The one who had spoken those words was Foxy's father, James McCloud, who was standing behind the group of students. They al turned around, surprised to see him here. The first one to speak was Foxy)
-Fox: Doh! Pop, must you wear sunglasses every minute of the day?!
-James: Yes, I must. My eyes are very sensitive, I need those sunglasses for protection.
-Falco: A likely story. He's probably just trying to look cool with those shades on.
-Fox: Anyway, what are you doing here? It's kinda embarrassing to have you here in front of everyone, you know.....
-James: Oh, that's just great. I come here to offer my help and all you say is that I embarrass you.
-Luigi: Your help? Does that mean you knew about Mr. Hare being kidnapped?
-James: Yes, I did. Peppy is a dear friend of mine, and I'll do whatever it takes to get him out of there!
-Yoshi: Allright then you're in! Anyone else want to join us?
-Bowser: Yes. Do you mind if I join in on your little rescue mission?
-Yoshi: You? Knowing you, you're probably on Andross' side!
-Malon: No, that's not true! My Bowser's not like that! He's coming to save Mr. Hare, and I'm coming along too, to protect my sweetheart on this dangerous mission!
-Saria: Yoshi, you might want to let Bowser in. We could use some brute strength, and he also has his seven flunkies.
-Yoshi: Just don't blame me if he pulls a gun on us or something.....
-Mario: Well then, welcome aboard, Bowser.
-Bowser: Hrmph! Just because we're fighting for the same cause doesn't mean I have to be nice to you! This is only a temporary truce!
-Mario: Whatever ^_^. Anyway, now that we're all set, let's go!
-Saria: Yes! The Venom building is our target! Hang in there, my beloved Mr. Hare, I'm coming!
-Slippy: Guys! Wait up, guys! Can I come along too? Please, guys?
-Luigi: Slippy, I don't think that's such a good idea....
-Falco: Oh, what the heck, let him come along. He could at least be useful as a decoy for enemy fire....
-Fox: Falco! How cruel!
-Slippy: Don't worry, I'll be a good decoy!
-Yoshi: Does Slippy know what "decoy" means?
(As the group of determined students leaves the school grounds, a few teachers observe the scene from the window of the staff boardroom. After a brief debate wether the students are allowed to leave the school now, it is decided that classes are suspended for the rest of the day and that Coach Gannon and the economic science teacher, Miss Syrup will follow the students to help them out if necessary).
-Gannon: This is dumb! I don't see why I have to go along with this!
-Syrup: What? How can you say that?! Those kids are being so brave, they deserve our assistance. After all, they're our students, and we're responsible of their safety during school hours.
-Gannon: I guess you have a point. Besides, I don't really fancy having that sicko Andross back as a principal. He's bound to cut our wages again.
-Syrup: Whereas Mr. Hare said just last week that he's trying to arrange a raise for the whole staff.
-Gannon: That's enough of a valid reason to do this, I guess.
(And so, the valiant students -and financially aware teachers- head towards the Venom building for their biggest battle yet! As they walk through the streets, Saria whispers to some of the others:)
-Saria: Wow, I didn't know Foxy's father was so hot! The shades, the outfit, the flair for timing....he's great!
-Yoshi:....you'll take just about anyone, won't you?
-Falco: Looks like I had it wrong when I said she had a complex about older men. I see now that it's a regular obsession.
-Samus: Well, she'd better forget about this one. Mr. McCloud's probably happily married...
-Fox: Not exactly. My mum left him long ago.
-Samus: I don't blame her. I'd go nuts as well being married to a guy who has to wear shades all the bleedin' time.
-Fox: That was sort of mum's reason for leaving as well. She said: "I can't love a man who will never show me his eyes...."
-Slippy: Oh, now that's really a sad story! Sob, poor Foxy.....
-Saria: And poor James! He must be so heartbroken and lonely.....Hey, that means I'm in with a chance! Allright!
-Luigi: I guess she'll never change.....
Scene 2: Storm the Venom building! The challenge of Star Wolf!
(After a short walk, Nintendo High's improvised "rescue team" have arrived at the Venom Building. As they enter the building, Andros is watching them from the window of his apartment)
Andross: So, those little dopes are here to save their principal. Well, let them try. I'm prepared for this. The whole Venom building is as of now under my grasp, and I've set up a little welcoming committee that will surely treat our guests appropriately, heh heh heh....
Meanwhile, the group has entered the building. They're now on the ground floor. Link's trying to get the elevator door to open)
-Link: I'm sorry, everyone, but the elevator doesn't seem to be working.
-Toad: Andross' apartment is on the fifth floor. We can take the stairs.
-Link: Yes, and besides, we wouldn't be able to fit everyone into the elevator at once, so it doesn't matter.
(The whole group stumbles up the stairs. Once they've reached the first floor, though they're greeted by four louche figures: Leon, Pigma, Andrew and Wolf: the four leaders of the dreaded street gang Star Wolf!)
-Wolf: Well, you lot sure took your time.
-Fox: Ah! I know who those four are! They're the leaders of that street gang, Star Wolf!
-Wolf: That's right. Hello again, Foxy. It's nice to see that you remember me.
-Fox: Cut the formalities already. Why are you here?
-Wolf: Ah, I thought you'd never ask. We were ordered to guard the four floors between you and Lord Andross.
-Mario: "Lord" Andross? I think this means.......no, I'm almost positive that it means......that they're part of Andross' fan club!
(Everyone crashes to the ground upon hearing Mario's stupid assumption)
-Luigi: Mario, you're so slow on the uptake! Why would Andross have a fan club?!
-Wolf: I hate it when I'm not taken seriously! Listen, on each floor you will have to face one of us! Only if you prevail in battle will you be allowed to move on to the next floor! Your first opponent will be Pigma! Pigma, I think we can leave you to deal with them and go to our designated floors. Not that anyone is likely to reach a floor beyond this one, but orders are orders. So long, dorks!
(Wolf, Leon, and Andrew dart off)
-Sheik: They've ran away. Just the ugly fat guy remained....
-Pigma: Ugly fat guy?! You'll pay for that!
-Yoshi: Oh, we're so scared! What can you do against all of us on your own, eh?
-Pigma: Oh, but I'm not on my own, Lord Andross has assigned me a special ally to fight you! Go get them, Gohma!
(From the shadows behind Pigma emerges a huge, spider-like creature which heads towards the "rescue team")
-Luigi: Yike! That thing is huge!
-Sheik: Aieee! I'm scared of insects! Somebody kill it, quickly!
-Yoshi: What do you suggest we do, use a fly swatter?!
-Samus: We were so stupid, rushing in here without thinking first. No wonder we failed miserably....
-Saria: No, it's not over yet! Link, come with me! Take your ocarina and play along with me!
(Link and Saria face the monster and start playing the same tune on their ocarinas)
-Luigi:.....I know that song they're playing.....
-Yoshi: Of course you do, that's "Itsy bitsy spider" they're playing!
-Samus: My God, how will that help us??
-Mario: Well, it seems to be working. The monster's no longer charging at us.
-Fox: It's making weird movements...it kinda looks like it's...dancing.....
-Saria: Keep playing, Link, it seems to be working.
-Link: Understood. Maybe later we'll play it the Spiderman theme song?
-Pigma: No, Gohma! What are you doing?! This is no time to dance!
-Samus: You don't look so smart now that your "ally" is of no use, little fat guy. Now, prepare yourself for the knuckle sandwich of your life!
-Pigma: Aieeee! Please, have mercy!
-Falco: You wish, porky. I will show you the true meaning of "pain", and unlike you, I will enjoy it.
-Pigma: I still have a chance! This is just the first floor, so.....
(Pigma runs off and jumps through a window. Since they're just on the first floor, the fall doesn't hurt him, and he runs away into the distance).
-Falco: Rats! I really wanted to beat up that little dork! What a rip-off!
-Fox: Well, you'll have other opportunities. After all, there are three more floors left before we reach Andross.
-Falco: Well, yes, and I need to calm my nerves by pounding someone's face in, so let's hurry.
-Yoshi: I don't quite see how one can calm his nerves by doing that.....
-Mario: Never mind that. Are you sure it's safe to leave this big spider-thing here?
-Saria: No sweat, Gohma's harmless now! It won't hurt us!
-Link: I guess music truly is like a universal language.....
-Saria: Yes, and I can always tell when someone truly loves music by looking in their eyes......
-Falco: So tell me, was that how you knew that Gohma would fall for "Itsy bitsy spider"?
-Saria: Well, sort of, but it was also intuition.
-Link: But you were very brave, Saria, to face such a huge creature.
-Saria: It was nothing! I know that someone who loves music can't be a bad person at heart! Just like you, Link.
-Sheik: Now just a minute! Don't you dare make advances on Link in front of me! Besides, have you forgotten about "your" Mr. Hare?
-Saria: Oh, that's right! My poor baby is held captive on the fifth floor! We can't keep him waiting!
(They all rush up the stairs to the second floor, were they're awaited by Andrew)
-Andrew: I see you've managed to get past Pigma. I must say that surprises me.....
-Falco: You'll be even more surprised when I start kicking your teeth in, whiny punk!
-Andrew: Ho ho....don't underestimate me. I'm not like that idiot Pigma. My approach is a more subtle one. Let's see how you like my mecha-Pikachus!
(With those words, a group of seven robotic Pikachus appeared from behind Andrew and attacked them)
-Link: Careful! Don't touch any of these, they give out powerful electrical discharges!
-Yoshi: Great, now what will we do?!
(Suddenly, the seven mecha-Pikachus stopped dead. They then turned their heads towards Bowser and started walking towards him)
-Andrew: Looks like my mecha-Pikachus have sensed that out of you all, Bowser represents the greatest threat. Their AI allows them to precisely measure an opponents abilities and strength.
-Malon: No! I won't allow them to hurt my Bowser!
-Bowser: Don't be silly! What can you do?!
-Malon: Don't worry, my love, my brooch, which allowed me to find you also holds a secret power that only I can unleash!
(Then, brandishing her brooch, Malon yelled out the following magic formula:)
-Malon: Koopa prism power, Make Up!!
(The brooch started shining, and Malon went into a transformation scene so stunning that it would make Sailor Moon's jaw drop. Once the transformation was finished, Malon's school uniform had turned into a trendy Lon Lon battle armour!)
-Bowser: What, that's it, your outfit changes?
-Malon: It's more than that, my darling, I can now also use my special moves! I'll toast those mecha-Pikachus with my energy ball move, which is done by pressing quarter-circle towards and B! Here goes!
(Malon then blasted the mecha-Pikachus with her fireballs, but alas, it didn't even scratch them)
-Malon: What? It didn't work?
(The mecha-Pikachus were now staring at Malon, ready to attack. Suddenly, they all leapt at Malon!)
-Roy: No! We, the little Koopas will not allow our master's fiancée to be hurt!
-Wendy: Yes, we must protect Lady Malon as well as Lord Bowser!
(With those words, the seven Little Koopas jumped in front of Malon. Each Little Koopa grabbed one mecha-Pikachu in mid-air. They were then all struck down by powerful electric charges brought about by touching the mecha-Pikachus)
-Luigi: Yikes....they took the full force of those electric blasts.
-Bowser: Oh no....this is all my fault....
-Wendy: Lord Bowser....Don't worry about us....we are happy to serve you. We'll be allright...
-Lemmy: We apologize, sir. We're very sorry to say that we won't be able to help you anymore until we've recovered from those blasts.....
-Bowser: My servants.....for all that you've done for me....for the many time that you loyally risked yourselves for me, I will not let you be wounded without avenging you! Those mecha-Pikachus will be blown to bits, I promise!
(After saying this, Bowser took a deep breath and blew a huge ball of fire at the mecha-Pikachus. The heat of the flames caused them to short-circuit, and they dropped to the floor like flies)
-Wendy: Thank you....milord.....
-Bowser: Hang in there, Little Koopas! We'll get you to a hospital!
-Malon: I'm very sorry. I'm to blame for this. The least I can do is use my healing move on them.
-Bowser: Could you do that?
-Malon: Yes. Just press half-circle back, towards, towards and A. It'll take a while until they're all healed, though.
-Bowser: I'll stay here then. The others can go on ahead, and we'll catch up when they're healed.
-Andrew: I....I don't beleive it....that guy can blow fire...?!
-Bowser: You! I won't forgive you for what you did to my servants! Prepare to be barbecued, Andrew!
(Frightened by the angry-looking Bowser, Andrew instantly faints).
-Mario: He passed out. I say we dump him down the lift shaft!
-Link: We would have done that, if all the lift doors weren't totally jammed.
-Mario: Oh well, we can still dump him down the stairs.
-Falco: It'll be my pleasure to see to that.
(With a mighty kick from Falco's foot, Andrew is flung down the staircase)
-Falco: Now let's move on. My nerves still aren't calmed, you know.
-Malon: Please be careful. We'll follow as soon as the Little Koopas are taken care of.
(While Bowser and Malon stay to heal the brave Little Koopas, the others climb the stairs to the third floor. There, they are very surprised to see absolutely no-one).
-Sheik: Wasn't there supposed to be another one of those weirdoes guarding this floor?
-Luigi: But I don't see anyone here. That's odd.
-Falco: My guess is that he got scared and ran off. A wise move.....
(But they were wrong. Leon was watching them, standing upside-down on the ceiling. He revealed himself by speaking these words:)
-Leon: I'm here, you dopes! Too bad for you, I didn't run away, but at the wages Andross is paying us, I'd be mad not to do this job, especially if it's such an easy task to accomplish!
-Mario: I expect he's got some other dumb "ally" that he'll send after us instead of fighting us himself....
-Yoshi: Yes, I notice bad guys often do that....
-Leon: Your analysis is flawed. I won't send a monster after you, you'll be going to face the monster. You see, the door to the stairway leading to floor four is sealed, and to get the key, you must beat my monster! And the monster's den is just down the warp pipe to your left.
(A large, green warp pipe was sticking out of the left wall, of the room)
-Saria: That's bound to be a rip-off! That warp pipe is probably booby-trapped or something!
-Toad: I've checked, and the warp pipe seems totally normal.
-Mario: Allright then, let's go! It doesn't matter where we have to fight, we can win this battle too!
(The others agreed on this, and they all jumped down the warp pipe. At the other end, a new challenge awaited them, one that would take the maximum of their efforts to overcome...)
Scene 3: A battle in the sky! The clash of rainbow-coloured feathers!
(After a short slide down the warp pipe, the students had reached the other end. They were surprised to see that the warp pipe had led them to the roof of the Venom building)
-Luigi: We're on the rooftop? Why would he lead us there?
(But before they could wonder about that, they were interrupted by a loud, screeching noise. They looked up to see a huge bird with multi-coloured wings circling the building)
-Samus: That huge bird.....that must be the monster we have to fight.
-Toad: Wait a minute, that bird's the robber Dyna Blade! They were talking about her on the news the other day.
-Yoshi: Yes, I remember now. Dyna Blade is a mysterious robber who's been raiding supermarkets all over town these past weeks. Kirby told me all about it just yesterday!
-Fox: I wonder why a bird would want to rob supermarkets?
-Yoshi: I don't care why it does that, I can't forgive anyone who does something as terrible as stealing food! That's the most horrid crime one could ever commit!
-Luigi: Yoshi, if that's what you think, you must be totally consumed by guilt for the many times that you have ripped food off other people....
-Falco: Yes, Yoshi sure has a strange set of moral values....
-Yoshi: Shut up, all of you! I'm seriously pissed off at this Dyna Blade, and she'll know it, too!
-Link: Wow, Yoshi sure sounds determined...
-Mario: That's because the other day, he was planning on spending a fortune on cookies at the supermarket, but once he had gotten there, the supermarket had been attacked by Dyna Blade, and all the food was gone.
-Link: Somehow, it all makes much more sense now.....
=NOTE: Dyna Blade is a boss character form Kirby Super Star for the SNES, whom Kirby must stop from destroying all the crops of Dreamland. The supermarket-raiding bit is a bit of a joke on Dyna Blade's destroying crops in the game=
-Sheik: Now, we need to figure out a way to beat that bird. Since it's flying, we'll need some kind of projectile to hit it....
-Toad: Saria, can't we use those three special arrows again?
-Saria: I'm afraid not. We kinda used up all our special arrow ammo showing them off at the festival......
-Luigi: Doh! And you didn't think you'd need them someday?!
-Saria: Hey, how should I have known that I'd be fighting a giant bird on top of a skyscraper someday?!
-James: There's no need to argue about it. I think I've got the solution right here. I brought a bag of Bob-ombs!
-Mario: Really? That's great!....But why didn't you tell us earlier? We could have used Bob-ombs to fight those other monsters on the first and second floors.....
-James: No, you're wrong. You can't use explosives inside a building, that would cause the building to collapse and you'd be buried alive!
-Falco: Right, so why did you bring the bombs along if you knew that they'd be useless inside a building anyway?
-James: I just think it's important to be prepared for anything!
-Fox: It's also kind of a habit of pop to carry weird stuff around with him.....
-Yoshi: Just give me those bombs. I'll swallow them and then spit them out all at once in Dyna Blade's face. The blast should be enough to knock her out, but I need to get a clean hit. Someone must attract Dyna Blade's attention, make her angry so that she charges at us. Once she comes close enough, I'll spit her down.
-Link: Right, who will be the decoy for Dyna Blade?
-Slippy: That's me! I'm the decoy! All I need to do is make Dyna Blade angry so that she charges at me, right?
-Saria: Yes, and try not to accidentally fall of the building or something. Have you got those bombs ready, Yoshi?
(Yoshi, with his mouth full of bombs gives a thumbs up sign to Saria, as if to say "ready!")
-Slippy: Okay, here goes! Hey, ugly stupid freaky bird! I hate you! Come on and get me, feather-brain! Unless you're chicken, that is! Heh heh heh, chicken, get it guys?
-Falco: This really is no time to make puns, Slippy!
-Samus: Besides, it doesn't seem to be working. Slippy's yelling isn't attracting Dyna Blade's attention at all.....
-Luigi: Well, go figure. She's a bird, she can't understand what Slippy's saying!
-Slippy: Well, she'll understand this!
(Angrily, Slippy threw a brick at Dyna Blade's head. Angered by this, Dyna Blade flew towards Slippy at full speed, claws outstretched)
-Slippy: Eeeeek! It's coming! I'm scared!
-Link: It's close enough, you can use the bombs now, Yoshi.
(Yoshi nodded and spat out the bombs who exploded right in Dyna Blade's face! Stunned by the force of the explosion, Dyna Blade fell all the way down to the ground)
-Yoshi: Know that you can't deprive me of food and live, Dyna Blade!
-Mario: Well, anyway, we beat her so let's head back and claim the key.
(They took the warp pipe back to the third floor, where Leon awaited them)
-Leon: Oh, you're still alive? Well, I can only presume that you decided not to fight Dyna Blade and quickly leave this building while you still can.
-Samus: Wrongo, slimeball! Take a look out of the window if you want proof of our victory over your naff bird!
(With a quick glance out of a nearby window, Leon spotted Dyna Blade lying unconscious at the foot of the Venom building)
-Leon: No way....I refuse to believe this!
-Falco: But it's true. Now hand over the keys and we might just let you live.
-Leon: Hah! Did you really think I'd just give you the keys like that?! Stupid kid, take this!
(Leon quickly punches Falco's face and laughs nastily)
-Leon: Idiots! I was never planning on just letting you have the keys!
-Fox: Falco, are you allright?
-Falco: That.....bastard...he..he damaged my face! He's really going to get it now!
-Fox: But Falco, it's just a little scratch....
-Falco: Shut up! Anyone who dares to touch my face will be terminated!
-Fox: Gu....gulp. You're really serious about this, huh?
-Leon: Hah, you don't frighten me, you're just a big talker and...gu...??
(Leon never got to finish that phrase, as Falco had grabbed his throat and then slammed him into a wall. He then went on to repeatedly punch Leon's face in)
-Mario: This is kinda scary....I've never seen anyone this angry.....
-Luigi: Yes, it looks like Falco's gone totally berserk...
-Fox: Hey, Falco! Don't kill him just yet, we still need him to give us the keys!
-Falco: Oh yeah...the keys....
-Leon: Here, take the keys! Take them, but please stop this!
(Falco takes the keys and lets go of Leon who immediately runs away screaming).
-Mario: Allright, we did it! Just one more floor to go now!
-Link: Look, Bowser and Malon are coming up the stairs!
-Malon: Is everyone allright? We're sorry that we couldn't help out. But at least the Little Koopas are all healed again.
-Fox: Malon, could you use the healing move once more, for Falco?
-Malon: Huh? But he doesn't look wounded to me....
-Fox: It's just a small scar on his face, but I think he'd be more comfortable with that fixed.
-Malon: Allright then, I'll do it.
(While Malon quickly heals Falco, the others unlock the door to the fourth floor. They're now ready to go meet Star Wolf, the last obstacle between them and Andross!)
Scene 4: Nearing the final conflict! The ambitions behind Star Wolf!
(While the students where fighting, coach Gannon and Miss Syrup had reached the Venom building as well. On their way, they had picked up Kid Icarus who had been sleeping and had not yet known of the "rescue mission" that his friends had embarked upon. On their way, Peach had joined them as well. The four were now standing outside the Venom building)
-Gannon: Shouldn't we go in there and help them or something?
-Syrup: Oh, I don't know. I'd say they're doing just fine by themselves as it is. No need to waste our efforts on something they can take care of themselves.
-Gannon: Whatever happened to "we're responsible of our students' safety during school hours" ?
-Syrup: I just think it's pointless to help out if they don't need it. We'll probably just be in the way.
-Gannon: I don't know. I somehow feel that a great trial awaits them...something that they won't overcome easily....
-Peach: If only I had known about this earlier! I would have gone with them to help!
-Syrup: *whispering* Yeah, right, like you could actually be of any use.....
-Kid Icarus: Well, I don't care what you lot want to do, I'm going in!
-Peach: That goes for me too! Mario's in there and he might be in danger! I can't just stand here and do nothing.
-Syrup: No, wait! You stay here, Kid Icarus. There's something much more important you must do!
-Kid Icarus: Huh? What's that?
-Syrup: You'll see....^_^
-Peach: Well, I'm still going in!
-Gannon: I'll come with you then. After all, that's part of our job as well, to look after our students in hard times...
(Meanwhile, the "rescue team" had arrived at the fourth floor, and were ready to face their strongest foe yet: Wolf!)
-Wolf: So, you've made it this far in one piece. Hats off to you, but don't get cocky just yet. This will be different. You won't just breeze on to the fifth floor unscathed, I can assure you.
-Mario: Whatever, just reveal your boring monster already. We've beaten three of them already, we can beat another one!
-Wolf: Well, I have news for you, I won't use a monster to face you, I'll take you on personally! All at once if you want to! But let me warn you. If you're not absolutely certain of your own strength, leave now or regret the consequences!
-Samus: What?! Does he think he can scare us with his bluffing?!
-Fox: Don't take him lightly, Miss Aran. I think he's not bluffing....He's been known as "the Bruce Lee of the streets". His fighting skills are unmatched, and he doesn't hesitate to really fight dirty. This may very well be trouble for us.....
-Wolf: I'm getting bored! Who's first? Come on! Unless you want me to attack you, that is...
-Toad: Look, let's just have one of us face him at a time. If he wins, another one of us takes him on, etcetera. At that rate, he'll get tired eventually and the next one to face him can then finish him off.
-Malon: Yes, that seems to be our best option.
-Slippy: Okay, I'll go first! Get ready, Wolf!
-Wolf: I see, the small fry goes in first. That doesn't mater, I'll just deal with you quickly and move on to something more interesting...
-Fox: Be careful, Slippy. And stall as long as you can. Remember, the idea is to wear Wolf out so that the next one can finish him.
-Slippy: Don't worry! I'll do my best!
(Peach and Gannon are dashing up the stairs while this is going on.....)
-Gannon: Just our luck that the elevators are knackered.
-Peach: I just hope Mario's all right....
-Gannon: Don't worry. That kid has a way of getting himself out of trouble.
-Peach: Yes, I suppose so, but let's hurry anyway....
(The two had now reached the fourth floor, and they were shocked at what they saw there: in just a few short minutes, Wolf had managed to defeat almost every student that had taken him on. Only Mario was left standing. All the others were down on the floor, mending their wounds).
-Peach: I don't believe this.....what has happened here?
-Yoshi: We got creamed, that's what. I still can't believe that he defeated me this easily. I couldn't even touch him....
-Saria: Same here....damn me, I'm so useless! Even though Mr. Hare's at stake here, I could do nothing. I can't even save my beloved......I'm really an idiot.....
-Falco:....Shit! I just refuse to believe that this idiot Wolf defeated me! That's impossible! I will not admit defeat! I'll kill him if it's the last thing I do!
-Fox: Falco, don't try to move! You took one hell of a beating, you're in no state to fight him again! You could barely even walk in your condition.
-Falco: Shut the hell up! I never lose! Never, you hear me?!
-Fox: At least wait until Malon has healed you....
-Malon: I'm sorry, but I got beaten up pretty badly as well. I'm not sure if I have enough strength left to heal anyone....I hate myself, I couldn't even protect my beloved Bowser!
-Bowser: No use blaming yourself. Even I didn't last more than a minute against that Wolf guy.
-Luigi: Stop that, all of you! We're not finished yet! Mario is still able to fight! He'll take Wolf on! Don't you guys trust Mario?!
-Link: You're right. We shouldn't abandon until it's really over. Mario might be able to find a way out of this..
-Wolf: You kiddies are pathetic! You place your last hopes in this little fat guy Mario?! That's ridiculous! Not one of you has so far managed to even touch me!
-Gannon: That punk....he's really pissing me off with that attitude!
-Peach: Coach Gannon? What are you going to do?
-Gannon: Wolf! Listen up! I'll be your next opponent instead of Mario!
-Mario: What? The coach? Oh, that suits me just fine ^_^.
-Wolf: Hmph! Now they're sending in an old guy against me? Ridiculous! Nobody could ever beat me! I'm too strong for any of you!
-Gannon: That's where you're wrong! Take this, brat!
(With a mighty punch, Gannon knocks Wolf to the ground)
-Yoshi: Allright! He got him! You go, coach!
-Wolf: This.....this isn't possible!
-Gannon: But still, it's happening. Listen, Wolf, although you are very talented, you're just a child. Don't get too arrogant yet. You still have a long way to go, you know. And someday, even you will meet your match. That's inevitable...
-Wolf: I see....I understand now....very well. I admit my defeat. I'm not able to beat you, I know that very well.....
-Yoshi: Just a minute....he acts all cocky to us, and one punch from the coach is enough to make him give up? I don't get it.....
-Link: There's probably more to it than that. I think he also admits his defeat because the coach saw right through him. Maybe he's not so self-assured as he looks in the end....
-Wolf: Listen, you're Gannon, right?
-Gannon: Yes, that's correct.
-Wolf: I'll remember you....I'll think about what you said. And once I'm ready to face you, we'll have a rematch. I insist.
-Gannon: Very well. In the meantime, Peach, you try to contact a hospital or something. All my students here need some medical assistance.
-Sheik: No, wait! We can't leave now, we still need to save Mr. Hare!
-Gannon: Nonsense, you're not going anywhere. None of you can even stand up!
-Luigi: Mario, I suppose it's up to you to go to the fifth floor and save Mr. Hare. You're the only one left standing...
-Mario: No problem, I can do that! I'll be right back!
-Peach: Mario, wait! I'm coming with you! I want to help out as well!
-Gannon: Allright, you kids go to the fifth floor. I'll stay here and contact the hospital.
-Wolf: As for me...I think I'll go to the fifth floor with you two....
-Mario: Huh? But I thought you were serving Andross? Why would you join us?
-Wolf: I just changed my mind, that's all. I don't really care about the money Andross would pay us. I'm just looking for a distraction....
-Peach: Then why doesn't he go play Tetris or something? This guy's weird....
-Mario: Whatever, we can use all the help we can get. Let's go now, it's nearly over.
-Saria: Mario, don't you dare screw up! I want my Mr. Hare saved, you got that?!
-Mario: No sweat, after all you guys have gone through, I owe it to you to carry our mission to a good end!
-Peach: And I'll be with him, so you really don't need to worry about a thing!
-Saria: Somehow I'm still not too sure about this.....
-Luigi: You can trust Mario. He'll pull through, I know he will!
(And so, Mario, Peach and Wolf head for the fifth floor, where the outcome of their adventure awaits....)
Scene 5: The final combat! We won't fail all those who are counting on us!
(The three have now arrived at the fifth floor, and are standing face to face with Andross)
-Mario: Andross...we've been waiting for this....we came here to free Mr. Hare. Release him willingly and it'll be done with.
-Andross: Not on your life! You've come a long way, but I'm afraid it's all in vain! There's no way you'll overcome this final challenge! Prepare yourself to face Mecha-Wario!
(Andross then puts on a headset, and yells into the speaker)
-Andross: Mecha-Wario, show yourself! Rid me of these two stupid kids, and that traitor Wolf as well!
(A large robot, whose facial features are very similar to those of Wario then crashes through a wall and heads towards Mario)
-Peach: Now that's the most ugly thing I've ever seen. I don't understand why he'd model a robot after Wario....
-Wolf: You'd better be careful. That robot's armed with missiles. If he fires those, we'll be toast for sure....
-Mario: Missiles Schmissiles! I won't be beaten this close to our goal!
-Andross: Then, so be it! If you want to die this badly, I'll grant you your wish! Mecha-Wario, prepare to launch missiles!
-Peach: Oh no, we're really goners this time!
(But just as Andross was about to give Mecha-Wario the order to launch the missiles, a pair of hands appeared behind him and snatched the headset from Andross' head. The hands belonged to the economic science teacher: miss Syrup! She was standing behind Andross with Kid Icarus and.....Mr. Hare!)
-Andross: What? You, give me back that headset! That's the voice-operated remote control for Mecha-Wario!
-Syrup: I know, that's why I nicked it. You're finished, Andross, give yourself up!
- Peach: This is unbelievable! How did you get here, miss Syrup? And how did you find Mr. Hare?
-Syrup: It's simple! You know how Kid Icarus can fly, right? Well, he flew me to the fifth floor and I snuck into Andross' apartment to free Mr. Hare while he was busy with you kids here. Pretty sneaky, eh?
-Mario: Now, why didn't we think of that......
-Syrup: Now to finish this sicko of!
(Syrup then puts the headset on her own head and speaks into it).
-Syrup: Mecha-Wario, you will now obey me. Take Andross here, and go dump him into a volcano's crater!
-Andross: What? No, you can't do that! Please, no!!
(But it was too late. Mecha-Wario had acknowledged these new orders and grabbed Andross)
-Andross: No, let me go! Mecha-Wario, I am your creator! You can't do this!
(Mecha-Wario walked off into the distance, carrying the furiously screaming Andross to the nearest volcano....., approximately 2500 kilometers away).
-Syrup: There, that's that taken care of.
-Mario: Allright, we did it!
-Peach: We saved Mr. Hare! We won!
-Kid Icarus: That's great!...but, Mr. Hare, you don't look very happy.....
-Peppy: I'm ashamed of myself....how could I put my students through so many hardships when it's my duty to protect them? I've failed everyone.
-Peach: No, that's not true. All the ones who came to te Venom building today did so because they chose to do it themselves, it was what they wanted!
-Mario: That's right. We had a good reason to come here and fight, and we don't regret any of it....in fact, now that's it all over, we may have all gained a lot from it....
-Peppy: But still, the fact remains that people suffered because of me today. I'll have to take responsibilities...maybe it's better if I leave Nintendo High, to prevent something like this from happening again...
-Peach: Please don't do that. We fought to get you back, so if you leave it'll be like we have fought for nothing at all....
-Peppy: Well, that's true....
-Mario: You have no reason to blame yourself, Mr. Hare. It's true that we have suffered today, and that we've been frightened a few times, but in the end, it was worth it. Not just because you are very important to us, but also because this was the first time we really gave it our all! This was something we really wanted to do, no matter if it would be difficult, and we succeeded. If we can manage stuff like this, think of everything that we could accomplish in the future!
-Peppy: I see now.....thank you all, my students. But I must do something in return...all of you, please take the rest of the week off to recover.
-Mario: Really? Great, thanks a lot!
-Peach: I was hoping for a month off or something.
-Peppy: Now don't get too greedy.....
-Mario: Mr. Hare, please come downstairs with us to the fourth floor, the other students are there.
-Peppy: Yes, I'll come to see them.
(They all descend the stairs to the fourth floor, where Mr. Hare is greeted by lots of cheering from everyone).
-Yoshi: All right, they did it! He's saved!
-Luigi: Mario, I knew you would succeed!
-Kid Icarus: Just a minute, don't I get any credit? It was due to me and Miss Syrup as well...
-Peppy: Please don't start arguing. I'm very grateful to everyone who risked him or herself for me today. I really don't deserve it....
-Saria: Oh but you do, you do! I would gladly fight for you again and again! If anything happens, please don't hesitate to call me! I'll always be right there to protect you!
-Peppy: Ummm....that's nice to know....*sweatdrop*.
-Fox: Come to think of it....it was more or less thanks to Saria that we all agreed to go along with this....
-Falco: What do you mean by "thanks to Saria"? There's no reason to thank her for all the went through! We should blame her!
-Sheik: That's right! Because of her, my Link got hurt today!
-Saria: "Your" Link?!
-Sheik: Exactly! You have no right to make claims to him! You stick to your Mr. Hare!
-Yoshi: Oh no, I just remembered that I missed lunch to come here and fight! That's horrible! Sarria, what do you have to say for yourself?!
-Saria: That you shouldn't eat so much, that's what!
-Peach: Oh dear, must they always bicker like that?
-Peppy: Well, it doesn't matter. I'm just glad to have people like them as my students.
-Gannon: The ambulance will be here soon. Everyone'll be just fine.
-Wolf: I'm leaving. You, Gannon, remember what I told you.
-Gannon: Yes, yes...
-Falco: Just a minute, you! I demand that we have a rematch as well someday!
-Wolf: Well, okay, but make sure that next time, you're ready for me.
-Falco: What?! I was born ready! Just you wait, I'll show you my true strength soon!
(Wolf leaves the building, ignoring Falco's complaining and walks off into the distance)
-Wolf: Today, something very important happened. Not just for me, but for all those kids. We mustn't forget this day.......
END OF EPISODE FOUR
Preview of the next episode:
In the spring season, the cherry trees are blossoming, and the students of Nintendo High are doing their best to tell their loved ones how they feel. But expressing your feelings isn't always easy, especially with so many other people in the way. Will everyone end up love happy or just lonely and miserable? It's the next episode: Romantic cherry blossoms!
TO BE CONTINUED...